TANGLED HEARTS.
- I SAY YES.
If phones could talk, his would ask why the hell he keeps checking it. He has been keeping it close to him, everywhere he goes, he carries it with him so as to not miss an important call, or calls rather because he is waiting for two.
They are yet to get feedback from their presentation days ago and he is still waiting for Amerie to call him. You can guess which one is keeping him on his toes more. He knows he has what it takes to secure this business deal but as for Amerie… That’s a whole other matter.
It’s been three days since he went to see her and he’s had to stop himself from going there again to find out if she maybe lost that piece of paper. Atleast with the business phonecall he knows it’s because they have competition and that company is still deciding who will be best to work with but with Amerie he doesn’t know what to think.
Maybe their age gap turned her off? Sure there are guys her own age that hit on her, she’s a beauty, obviously men will stop and take note… Or is she back with her ex? Was it too soon? Should he have waited a few more weeks to allow her to mend her broken heart? He can do that for her, he can put the pieces back together and make her feel like it never broke in the first place if she allows him to, if she just gives him a chance.
This is probably wishful thinking on his side. She probably chucked that piece of paper away the moment he stepped out of sight. Maybe she thinks he was being creepy… All this thinking is frustrating him and makes him laugh at his ridiculousness while massaging his temples. He has asked women out before and he did not have to overthink like this, women his age even and now here he is, feeling nervous before he even properly asks Amerie out. He laughs because he knows this isn’t him, he doesn’t overthink so what can he call what he’s doing right now?
There’s a knock on the door and he loudly tells the person to enter and Frank’s wife comes in. She’s holding a lunch basket which he assumes is for Frank and he immediately starts to think about what his days would like if Amerie visited him like this. He can’t wait for those days. “Judith, hi,”
“Hello, Shane. Don’t look so surprised,” She says with a smile.
“You just caught me by surprise, that’s all. You’re here to see your husband?” he asks the obvious.
“Yes, we made plans to have lunch together but he’s still wrapping up a meeting so I thought I’d pop in and greet you, are you good?”
“Yes, I’m great. Yourself?”
“I’m great, thanks? Frank tells me that you guys are still waiting to here if you got the job,”
“We are. You can take a seat,” He offers and she goes for it, placing her lunch basket on his table.
“Thank you. If Frank is this stressed, I can only imagine how you must be feeling especially because you have no one to offload to at the end of the day,” She says and he raises his eyebrow at her, making her laugh shyly “Oh, don’t be like that, Shane. You’ve been single forever, when are you going to find someone to turn your house into a home? Someone to make you forget about these nerve-wracking pending phonecalls?”
He could simply tell her to focus on her own business but as expressed before, she and Frank are the bit of social normalcy that he has so he chooses to humor her.
” It will happen when and if it has to, I’m in no rush, ”
This makes her laugh” Oh, Shane. You are a grown man and I’m sure you catch a lot of eyes. If that fails then I can come through and help you, ”
” That will not be necessary, Judith, ”
” I don’t mind-”
” I do. I know you mean well and I appreciate it but I don’t need to be set up on a blind date or anything, I’d like to walk into my next relationship with my eyes wide open. ”
” A little thrill wouldn’t help and you know I have plenty time on my hands.” she insists with a hopeful smile.
” Like you just said, I’m a grown man. That means I’m more than capable of fending for myself and finding a woman suitable to be mine, “He decides to firmly set the record straight. The last thing he needs right now is to be set up with women that are potential wives according to Judith, she would be using her own criteria and he’s not too sure that he would be happy with her choices.
” Of course, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to overstep, ” she begins to back away, clearly his words had an impact and he’s glad.
” That’s okay, now you know which topics to not touch on. ” he still sounds calm but she’s squirming on her chair. She isn’t used to having someone set her straight without even hiding it and Shane hardly shows this side of him, she’s not even sure how it makes her feel.
There’s another knock on the door and it’s Frank” All done, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for long, “He says to his wife and that’s her cue to get up and breathe easily.
” Not at all, Shane kept me company. Are you finally free? ”
” Yes. Do you want to join us for lunch? “Frank asks Shane and this just irks the man. Yes they mean we’ll but sometimes it feels like they feel a lot of unnecessary pity for him, he has never openly admitted to being lonely.
” Oh, no I don’t want to-“He doesn’t get to finish because his phone rings and he turns his full attention to it. Inwardly scolding himself for being this excited for a phonecall.
It turns out to be the business phonecall they have been waiting for and they got the deal. Frank listens and watches as the smile on Shane’s face grows but he waits for the confirmation after Frank hangs up “We’re in,” Shane shares loudly and Frank fist pumps in celebration before taking his wife in his arms and kissing her.
“I knew we had it in the bag but I got a little nervous there,” Frank admits.
“I never doubted the two of you for a second, you guys worry too much,” Judith says earning smiles from both men. “This actually calls for a celebration, Shane you have to join us,”
“I agree, let’s have dinner, somewhere fancy and celebrate our big win. We can’t just go home after this,” Frank adds.
“I don’t think I like the idea of being a third wheel at a restaurant,” He half jokes. He knows who he would like to celebrate with right now.
“I could invite a friend so we balance each other out. Come on, it will be great and you two deserve this,” Judith presses on.
“I hope this isn’t you getting ideas,” Shane says to her.
“Of course not. I heard you and I will not be setting you up with any of my friends. This is just us celebrating and it could just be the three of us but you will feel left out. I wouldn’t blindside you like that, Shane,” she frowns.
“What are you two on about?” Frank asks.
“Oh, nothing serious, love. Just me and my silly ideas. I thought I could play matchmaker but Shane here has just busted my bubble,”
“Shane is a grown man, love. He doesn’t need you doing the work for him… Although, I must admit that your single status is starting to be concerning, are you sure you know how to ask women out?” Frank jokes, easing the tension in the room.
“Of course I do, and who is to say I don’t have a woman?”
“Do you?”
Judith can’t hide her shock and Shane just smirks a little and doesn’t respond. Instead he says “you’ll send me the details but please make sure that your friend understands that this isn’t a double date,” He clarifies, choosing to keep his personal life to himself.
Judith laughs at the last part “Of course, I’ll make sure she understands, we’ll see you later?”
“Later,”
They say their goodbyes and Shane tries to go back to being focused on work even after the exciting news. There’s so much to do and he’s going to be fully involved in this project, he doesn’t want any mistakes and wants to make sure that this is the beginning of many more projects like this and only then will he be comfortable with letting other people handle it, this is a big turn for S.M Designs and he wants to make sure that nothing goes wrong . He feels it in his bones, it’s like his energy and determination had just been fueled again and he cannot wait to put it to good use…but just as much as pride and hope fill him up, he can’t help but also acknowledge the ping of guilt that always accompanies those feelings whenever the company takes a positive turn. He lets his mind dwell on it for a few seconds before deciding to do as he always does, shove it at the back of his mind until he eventually stops thinking about it. He has already accepted that this is the kind of guilt that he will even go into his grave with. He guesses that this is just the lifetime price he has to pay, he can never be fully happy, there has to be guilt in there, reminding him of the mess he comes from.
After shoving these thoughts away, his day is on a complete rise and when he starts packing up at 5 p.m he is looking forward to dinner later this evening. Judith was quick to find a place and he just wants to go home and freshen up before joining them. He has just slipped his phone in his pocket when it starts ringing and when he takes it out, he can’t recognize the number, his heart becomes hopeful yet again as he answers calmly.
“Shane Mathews,”
“Hi… Uhm…How are you?” the voice that he has been longing to hear finally graces his ears, can this day get any better?
“I’m good thanks and you, Amerie?” just saying her name is confirmation that this is really happening, she finally called.
“I’m good thanks… Sorry for not calling you the other day,”
“Never apologize for not doing something that you were not ready to do,” He tells her.
“Noted. So you were still interested in hearing from me?”
“Of course I was, although I’ll admit that for a moment you had me thinking that perhaps I came on too strongly… Or you simply threw that piece of paper away,”
“I wouldn’t… I mean, I didn’t… I just needed to be sure that I want to call you,”
“I take it that you are sure now, that is why you are calling me,” he remains hopeful.
“I am, and if the offer still stands for you to drive me home, I’d like that,”
“Are you still at work?” he asks, his mind immediately clearing all other commitments, now the only thing on his mind and to do list is to spend some time with the woman who refuses to vacate his mind.
“Yes, I knock off at six,”
“I’m on my way, I’ll call and let you know where I parked,”
“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” there’s a pause before the line goes dead and Shane is left with a smile on his face. She finally called.
He finishes packing up and hopes to catch Frank before he leaves but the turned off lights in his office suggest that he’s too late so he decides to send him a text and let him know that something came up and he won’t be able to join them this evening, he doesn’t go into details, just a simple apology and vague explanation.
His first stop is at a floral shop. He isn’t sure if Amerie likes flowers but he doesn’t like the idea of showing up empty handed so after his very short consultation with the shop assistant, he walks out with a bouquet of orchids. He was advised that roses may be a bit too much on the first date, and this isn’t even a date.
Just as agreed, he calls to let her know where he is parking and then he stands outside his car waiting for her to appear. It’s not too long until she does and he cannot help but keep his eyes fixed in her. She’s dressed in formal navy pants and a white shirt that’s tucked in, her hair is in a ponytail and she looks so beautiful as she approaches him without making eye contact. She only looks at him when she stops infront of him.
“Hey,” She smiles at him.
“Hi, you look beautiful,” She opens the door and and reaches for flowers “These are for you,”
“You bought flowers? Oh my, I didn’t bring anything…”she says and he has to stop his chuckle.
” It’s okay, I wasn’t expecting anything in return, “He hands them to her and she smells them, briefly shutting her eyes.
” Thank you, Shane. I appreciate this,”
” So you like flowers? ”
” I do, I think. I always admire them when passing by a flower shop but have never gone in to buy any for myself, this is actually my first flower gift and I love it,”
“I’m glad you do,” He leads her to the other side of the car and gets the door for her. This takes her a bit by surprise but she doesn’t make it obvious, she’s just going to enjoy the moment. That’s what she told herself when she called him earlier. To live in the moment.
When he gets in by the driver side he turns to look at her “Have you eaten?”
“No, I was thinking I’ll whip something up quickly when I get home. It’s been a long day,”
“If you don’t mind, we could go to a restaurant and get something to eat instead. I was actually supposed to meet with some associates to celebrate a job we just landed,”
“Did I make you cancel? You didn’t have to. I would have understood,”
“I wanted to be here. I just thought that maybe I could dine with you instead, in celebration of my big win,”
“Did you ditch your friends for me? That’s never a good thing, Shane,” She tries not to smile but it’s too late, he has seen it.
“They are not necessarily my friends, I don’t have friends,”
“What do you have?”
“I’ll have a woman soon,” he looks at her and she shys away so he decides to tone it down a little “They won’t mind me canceling and I feel like celebrating my win with you. So what do you say?”
“I’m not dressed for a fancy restaurant,” she hesitates but she’s already imagining a table for two. It would save her from cooking.
“You’re still beautiful in your formal clothes, or we could find a dress boutique that is still open and get you something g if you want,”
She laughs at this suggestion because who even brings this kind of suggestion up? she looks up and the confused look on his face tell her that it’s him, he is the one that suggests that and means it” You’re being serious? ”
” I am, ”
“God, no. You don’t have to, I’m sure no one will notice my dull clothing. Let’s go celebrate you,”
“Nothing about you is dull, Amerie. I Meant it earlier when I said you look beautiful,” she goes quiet at this.
She doesn’t know what she’s thinking going to dine with a man she hardly knows but this feels right. She feels okay, being with him and she just cannot say no when he’s looking at her with those pleading eyes. She is tired but he canceled his plans to be here so she can atleast do something for him too.
He finds a fancy restaurant for them in Sandton and in no time they are settled on their outdoor, corner table with their drinks in front of them. She asks about his big win and he explains the it, which then leads to him explaining what it is that he does for a living and then it’s her turn, they tread lightly, talking about their jobs up until Shane channels the conversation elsewhere by asking” So how are things with your boyfriend? Did you guys talk? “he knows it’s a sour topic but he needs to know. He’s not sure if he can easily forget her but if it’s the boyfriend she wants then he will not make things difficult for her… He would like to think.
” He came over once, to give some lame apology. He went down on his knees and thought I’d immediately melt,” she rolls her eyes at the memory.
“And you didn’t?” he seriously asks and she laughs.
“Well as you can see I’m still in one solid piece,” she laughs again “But seriously, I’m done with him. I don’t see myself going back,”
“You’ve stopped loving him?”
“I think I stopped a long time ago but didn’t want to acknowledge it. I wasn’t ready to let go of our relationship but then he went and did what he did and I can’t forgive that. Maybe if I hadn’t caught him myself, I don’t know… I just know there was no way we were ever going to be okay while the picture of him having sex with someone else is permanently engraved in my head,”She explains and he nods.
” Is cheating a deal breaker for you or is it catching your partner in the act that is a deal breaker? “he goes on to ask.
She sighs and keeps quiet for a moment” I’d like to say that cheating g is a deal breaker but I am someone who has forgiven my ex even when it was apparent that he stepped out on me but there was never any concrete proof. He always knew how to win but at the same time, my love and respect for him kept declining. I wouldn’t want to be with a man I don’t love or respect and now that I’ve experienced catching him red handed, I believe I can say that next time I won’t wait long enough for me to catch my partner in the act, one sign and I’m out. I’ve learned,”
” I understand, that’s the worst kind of betrayal, ”
” Yeah it is… “she says with a frown and takes a sip of her drink.” What about you? Are you seeing anyone? Married maybe? With kids? ”
” No to all three. I’m single, never been married and I don’t have kids, ” He says and she cocks his eyebrow at him making him smirk” What? ”
” Are you being honest or you’re just saying what you think I want to hear?”
” I have no reason to lie to you, Amerie but do feel free hire a private investigator to check me, “He jokes.
” I won’t take it that far, I was just wondering that’s all, ”
” Why? ”
” Well… I’ll go with the obvious, people your age are normally married and have kids, ”
” People my age, exactly how old do you think I am? ”
” Late thirties, maybe? “she asks and he just smirks, leaving her question hanging.
” I understand that after being burned you have reservations but I wouldn’t be sitting here with you, with all these intentions that I have, if I was already committed to someone,”
“What are those intentions?” she asks and he fixes his eyes on her so she can see that he’s not fooling around.
“I want to spend more time with you Amerie. I want to get to know you, to learn about you and to have you in my life. I’m not going to beat around the bush and waste time. I’m taken by you, Amerie. I knew it the moment I realized that I cannot stop thinking about you, I knew it from the way my heart jumped for joy when I spotted you again and when I finally approached you at your workplace, that just cemented it for me. I knew the that I want to see more of you and hear more of your voice. Without us playing games and fooling each other,”
This almost renders her speechless but she knows she has to say something because if she’s being honest, she hasn’t stopped thinking of him either” I’ve been thinking about you too… But I thought that maybe it’s too soon,I’m fresh from a heartbreak,”
” Everything happens in it’s own time, as it should. I’m not asking you to jump in. I’m just asking you to give me a chance, even if it’s just a little, up until you can give me more, ”
” You don’t mind that I’m not exactly in a good space? ”
“Not at all, I know what I want and that is you. Whether you are in a good space or not, you will still be the woman who had me from the word go,” He takes a risk and reaches for her hand and she let’s him have it. “Let’s get to know each other,”
“I have never been asked out straight like this,” her shy voice comes out to play.
“I guess it comes with the age then, I don’t want to leave you to guess. I want you to know why I’m asking to enter your life,”
“You never answered my question,”
“Of?”
“Your age,”
“You didn’t ask, you just took a guess and I didn’t confirm it,” he says and she wants to roll her eyes at him. He wants her to be direct.
“How old are you, Shane?”
“I’m forty-two,” He says and her eyes go wide. She was expecting late thirties, forty-two? Oh goodness, the man is seventeen years older than her.
“I’m twenty-five,” She whispers and purses her lips.
“Is that a deal breaker?” he asks.
“I don’t know, I’ve never been with an older man before,” She replies, she might have joked time and again that she would like to be with an “uncle” but that was when she was admiring older men on the internet or anywhere while with Leona. Of course she was happy with her choice the time, it being Chase who is the same age as her but now things have taken a turn. Was she really just joking at the time? She’s starting to think not.
“Then let me be the first to give you that experience, all you have to say is yes and then it will be up to me to make sure that I’m not only the first but also the last. What do you say, Amerie?”
She looks at their hands and back at him, she doesn’t need to think long and hard about this and she has no intention of beating around the bush too so she answers” I say yes “