INSERT 8 One Week Later… SABELO I am back to work today and I honestly couldn’t function. Everything on my desk reminded me of Anele. Her face is everywhere—my desktop screen, my laptop screen, my notebooks, my coffee cup and I can almost hear her laugh in my workspace corridors. I work with 90 percent … Read more
INSERT 7 SABELO Have you ever felt like you are lost in your own home? Have you ever stood in the middle of your own living room and felt like you are standing in a desert—the middle of nowhere? That’s how I’m feeling right now and the silence in the house is too loud. I … Read more
INSERT 6 Three Months Later…. SABELO I had to voluntarily hand myself into a mental institution. It’s a private establishment so they have a fancy word for locking people in here but the main point remains—this is a place for crazy people. I have been here for two months and as much as settling in … Read more
INSERT FIVE OWETHU By the time we get to the private doctor, I’m in tears. My back hurts so much and my fear is losing my baby. I will not survive another loss, I am not one of God’s strongest soldiers and this is the trial I would fail miserable. I am silently praying and … Read more
INSERT FOUR SABELO I don’t know if I’m the one who’s losing it or the people I call in-laws are the ones who should be on their way to the looney-bin. I don’t care what they believe in, I don’t care what culture says, I’m not about to disrespect my wife like that. She could … Read more
INSERT THREE SABELO I wake up with a banging headache that has me finding it hard to peel my eyes open. My forehead feels heavy. I stretch my hand to Anele’s side of the bed and my eyes flutter open when my hand doesn’t feel her. Her side of the bed is still made up, … Read more
INSERT TWO NARRATED Funeral preparations are in full swing. The Mthombeni house is a bustle of activity—every nook and cranny has someone doing something. If it’s not a family member who just arrived and is sobbing bitterly in Mam’Sibisi—Anele’s mother’s embrace, it’s an aunt sitting right next to the mattress and demanding tea with condensed … Read more
INSERT ONE Time of death: 00:36 Date: 01-01-2025 The paramedic’s words ring in Mthombeni’s head, loud and deafening. He clasps his palms over his ears, but his efforts prove to be futile. He can still hear the fireworks exploding, people screaming ‘Happpyyy’ and in the mix of the chaos in his head is his wife’s … Read more
PROLOGUE Rain showers patter gently on the roof, creating a soothing rhythm that almost matches the steady beat of my husband’s heart. I am nestling on his chest, tracing a finger on the contours of his ribcage. I scoot closer, wishing for a way to get under his skin and live under it. He wraps … Read more