TSAKANI

No one is saying all three of us are lost in our thoughts as we drive to my house, Lee is the one driving, and I’m next to him. Bubbles is sitting at the back, head laid back on the head of the seat looking outside the window. I just don’t understand how the car ended up exploding, but they will tell me. And again, I wonder what would’ve happened if bubbles was not around, I mean no one saw it coming after all we were not expecting to be attacked. I don’t even want to imagine what would’ve happened, or how many people would’ve gotten shot it all feels surreal. But who were those people really after? Shit is starting to get real, it’s time to fasten our seatbelts, and get back in the game. I wonder what were our parents reaction, especially Lux’s mother when she saw her daughter in action? Because I’m quite sure that my mother is now scared of her, and Mmathabo likes her. See, my mother never really accepted Mmathabo as her makoti she’s just tolerating her because she’s married to Tinyiso, if it was not for that she would’ve long got rid of her, and Mmabatho doesn’t give a fuck. The only Makoti she loves its Okuhle, very respectful that one or maybe it’s because she’s a pushover, she does everything being told without asking questions, and Hlulani hates that, then my mother would get angry at Hlulani when he reprimands him, and she will stop talking to him. Well, Hlulani doesn’t even care because he knows that she will be the first one to reach out to him.

An hour later we are parked in my yard, and we all walk inside the house I never lock the door anyway, Lee opens the door, and we step inside I place the dodgy bags on top of the table. Lee heads straight toward the fridge, and take out two cans of Heineken.

“Want some Miss piano maker?” Lux sends him a stare.“My bad. Want some diamond?”

“I don’t do ciders, I’m into gin & cocktails. So, no, thank you.”

Him: “So, you are going to watch the beers slide down our throats?”

Her: “I will not even be bothered, but I’m hungry.”

Me: “You can eat me,” she shakes her head.

Her: “I’m serious TK. And I need some meat not burgers.”

Me: “There’s a fridge right next to you.”

Lee: “You guys are officially together now?”

Her: “Askies? Me & who?”

Him: “Why are you asking the obvious? You, and Takalani here.” I shoot him a stare, and he chuckles.

Me: “No. We are not together, and I will never date a girl like her she’s not my favorite cup of tea.”

Her: “And you think you are my favorite? Boy, you hardly cross my mind. I know real men mina, not young boys like you.” I hope she’s joking, she better be joking.

Me: “Excuse me?”

Her: “You are excused,” she rolls her eyes at me. Lee laughs. “And wena? What’s tickling you? Did maybe one of us made a joke unaware?” The bottle gets stuck on his lips, and he shoots his eyes open.

Him: “Y… I… Okay, wawu.” He sounds hurt.

Her: “I guess you are one person who doesn’t know how to take jokes, and that’s a turn off in a man. You are not exciting, you need to loosen up a little, it will do you good, or else hehe. Let me not say anything, and no I won’t apologize.” Now it’s my turn to laugh, she looks at me.

Me: “Don’t start with me.” She laughs.

Her: “You not worth it shame, don’t flutter yourself.” Ouch.

Lee: “Your words are wounding diamond, honestly.”

Her: “Then you are not ready for me. Anikho ready for me at all, and it’s quite clear that you will not handle me.” She glances at me once.

Me: “Y…,” the door pushes open, and Talon comes inside followed by Leon. They greet us, and their gaze stops on Lux.

Her: “I’m not an action movie drop the staring, it’s annoying,” Leon drops his head, but Talon doesn’t. He looks at her straight in the eyes brushing his chin, and Lux holds the gaze not even blinking, you see Talon can stare bafethu until you feel uncomfortable, and end up dropping the gaze.

Him: “Bese ungubani wena sisi?” (And you are)

Me: “Uhlanganaphi nokuthi ngingubani? Kuhlohlonya kuphi?” (Where do you fit in about who I am? What’s poking you)

Him: “Hhayi kabi, mara uyakena ukuthi u ringa nobani?” (Not in a bad way, but do you know who you are talking)

Me: “Ang’cavi futhi angifuni nokwazi skhokho. Knowing you won’t increase my bank balance, and the prize of bread will still remain the same. Uyabona ukuthi awuna impact? Uyacava mara?” Talon looks at her, he is speechless. That’s a first. “Now stop staring, you ain’t a hit.” Leon chuckles.

“Finally, finally bafethu. Anyway, TK I came to check if you are fine.”

Me: “I’m fine skhokho, uveni ngami?”

Talon: “Sicela I meeting namadoda k’phela hhayi abanye abantu,” (can we please have a man’s meeting, not with other people) she looks at bubbles.

Lee: “Lalela ke mfana, u diamond akayi ndawo you can say whatever you want to say in her presence.”

Him: “Lee, hhayi skhokho zidinga ama hawks lezi.” I chuckle, and shake my head.

Me: “Masha Leon.” Talon clicks his tongue, second meet up between the two of them, and they started off on a bad foot. It’s going to be a great one.

Leon: “Your boy ntwana yami told Adele that you will be moving your family to a place of safety, and Adele ordered a shootout for you & your family. I tried calling you wanting to warn you, but your phone rang unanswered. Seeing that you weren’t answering your phone I texted Talon, and asked him to go to the garage to check on whether you are safe or not, when he got there he said he found no one, he then asked the workers, and they said that you guys already left.” I bang the kitchen counter, damn you Spikiri.

Talon: “Feder skhokho sami bathi bekuphapha eyabelungu nisashaya abo goodbye daar, ehhh kanty konumunye u thekeli o bathe tla, bathi uthekeli wathi zonke ngesisu ceda wagcumela yabelengu, and u blind kabi bathi bekuyi film mfana, feder u lovey wathi yabelengu wathi kayi 2 kwaqhuma umnyamane skhokho, hhayi ke ikari yathi 1 2 mshado smovane style, yakhawatheka yaqhuma umlilo. Uyabona skhokho kube bekungasi I lo lavi angicavi ngabe kuhambeni ngani. Awusho ke skhokho uyamazi lo lovey?” (Okay bro, they told me that a shooting took place while you were busy bidding goodbyes, but the girl already saw the shooters. The girl shouted for everyone to lie down, and she jumped for a gun, they said the girl is the best, they said it was a movie boy. So, the girl shot twice and the tyres busted, then the car lost control, and it exploded, if it wasn’t for the girl I don’t know what could’ve happened to you guys. So, do you know this girl) I look at bubbles, and she’s focusing on the plate in front of her.

Me: “I know her. Feder, where’s Spikiri?”

Leon: “Eish, about that. He was in that car that exploded.”

Me: “Good. Serves him right. Umbonile Lee?” Lee shrugs, and then he looks at Lux.

Lee: “Yah, I did, but it was already too late the car was already on fire then, we left before the police can get there. And hade about your gun, we had to destroy it.” I nod.

Leon: “He killed himself basically. Yerrr, whatever Adele fed him is really working overtime, for him to double-cross you even though you gave him a second chance, hhayi a kana dankie saaarn, but feder ufele ku duty I wonder who will Adele recruit to spy for her next. She really wants you out.”

Talon: “Mara akaphumeleli kule gamors yakhe akevele ayeke ngoba anyeke aze aphumelele. Manjer, awutshele mina TK sithini I story saka lo?” (But she ain’t succeeding in bringing you down

she should just leave it, because she won’t succeed. Now, tell me. What’s her story) 

Lee: “Hhayi baba, ungabuzi. Yiskhokho lesi finish.” (Don’t ask. She’s the best)

Him: “Skhokho kuphi? Ngokudlala ku pole? Lapho ngiyavuma skhokho,” (Best where? By playing on the pole? There I agree with you) Lee laughs.

Me: “Yilo oqhumise ezimyama, yile one egcumele esami sabelungu. Umsindisi wezi mpilo zethu ke lo.” (She’s the one who busted the car tyres, she’s the one who jumped for my gun. She’s our lives saver) He laughs.

Him: “Ayihlekisi skhokho. Usho lo?” (It’s not funny man. You mean her) he laughs, and Leon just stares at us not believing it. “You joke too much, she can never do such. Akavele abambelele ku pole yakhe ningazojutha nina.” (She must stick to her pole dancing, don’t sell us lies)

Me: “K. Lee, I think it’s time I visited Adele she’s crossing the line.”

Lee: “Leave her for now, her spy is dead she’s going to be stressed until she looses weight, she has no inside man.” He’s right though, but she still needs to be reminded about whomst am I!

“I need to leave, I need to go, and prepare myself for work,” bubbles says getting up from the chair.

Lee: “Will you be able to cope?”

Her: “Yeah, it’s not as if like I killed them. They should’ve hired someone who knew how to control the steering wheel not some amauture, they killed themselves. And besides I think there was something faulty about the car, I’m not a car expert neh, but that car was tampered with, it exploded too quick. I shot the tyres because I knew that they will puncture, and slow down the car. I guess this Adele of yours had other plans of hers.” She shrugs, and walk to the sink. Now, that she’s mentioning it, she might be right.

Leon: “So, you are the girl?”

Her: “What girl?”

Him: “The hero that saved the day?” She shrugs. “I’m impressed, you never strike me as someone who is a gangster.”

Her: “I’m not a gangster babe, but I do shoot to kill I need to protect myself this world is no longer safe,” he nods.

Talon: “Ngiswabile. Hade lovey for judging you so fast, hade saarn ng’zokutlamela I Ice-cream. Uyavuma?”

Me: “Nah. Lee, please drive me home.”

Him: “Sure.”

Talon: “Awww my loving, into ka lait, intombi yomjita awungigaye 2 maarn. Ngine sifo sokuwa baby love, ask them; bazokugcwalisela.” Lux laughs, and shakes her head.

Her: “Lee?”

Me: “Chilla memba I’ll drive her.”

Her: “Bye gents, and wena Talon buy me a car, and I will forgive you.”

Him: “Hhayi girl voetsek noxolo lakho,” she laughs stepping out of the house, and I hear Talon clicking his tongue.

Me: “Are we going to have sex?” We step inside the car.

Her: “Sex? That’s all that your mind is filled with? marshmallows? Samanyobinyobi?” I laugh.

Me: “I can’t help it. I’m joking maarn,” she clicks her tongue, and focus on the road. “You are my girl right? Like uyacava angisho bubbles?”

Her: “Dream ndoda dream,” I laugh as I queue some music.

 

★»★«

 

 

LUXOLO

Yoh, yazi I’m more worried about my mother. I mean, she actually saw me firing a gun, too bad I did not get to see her reaction I’m sure her mouth was wide open together with her big eyes staring in shock. I don’t even know how I would’ve answered her if she was around, but I know that she will call me, and ask me over the phone at least in that way I’ll be able to spin her a story. As for TK’s mother, I don’t even want to mention her ikhombene between the 2 of us klaar, things will never be the same again, she’s noisy. But I’m glad that my mom put her in line, you see my mother might be everything, mara once she disciplines you she disciplines you politely, and you will never hear her shouting. Hhe, but the words always leave a bitter taste in one’s ears.

So, this house belongs to TK no wonder he did not ask for directions he knew exactly where we were going, and truly speaking I don’t have the energy for him. Anyway, my instincts always kicks in faster, and I have to act on it without thinking twice. When I saw the car approaching in slow motion, and the silver gun glistering in the front window I knew ukuthy kushubile, and when the other one popped his head out of the window, that’s when I ordered everyone to go down, and Lindiwe’s shooting lessons came in very hand, I remembered her words.

“If your shooters are using a car wait for it to pass then shoot the tyres at the back that will slow down the car, and possibly the car will lose control if the drivers hands aren’t steady, and they ain’t quick enough to hit the brake. Don’t wait for them to stop the car shoot at them immediately as they slow down.”

Me, I’m a fast learner mus. She also taught me how to snatch ones gun fast before they can even react, she actually taught me a lot, she also taught me some karate and took me through all kinds of explosives, their names, and when to use them. You see, if I was that focus in school I’m sure I would’ve been somewhere far in life by now. But hhey, school was never my favorite, ever.

“Home sweet home,” he gets himself settled on the couch, and the remote is already in his hands busy changing channels.

Me: “And nou? Why aren’t you driving back to yours?”

Him: “Why should I? I want to be here with you, I mean you are going to be bored because your mother & your cousin aren’t around. So, who’s supposed to keep you company if not me?”

Me: “Well, my boyfriend is coming,” he laughs.

Him: “And he will find me here with my legs on top of this table,” he puts them vele. This guy. “I will shoot him, then shoot you too.”

Me: “Are you being for real right now?”

Him: “This ain’t Mr Bean bubbles, it’s reality. So, what’s for dinner?”

Me: “There’s food in the kitchen.”

Him: “And you are telling me this because?”

Me: “Because you want dinner, duh.”

Him: “Dinner that will be made by you, and you will be the dessert. Sol won’t have a problem with you not coming to work tonight, I will compensate him for this night that old man loves money. Don’t worry. So, about that dinner bubbles, what are we having?” I throw myself next to him, I’m defeated, yazini he drains me.

Me: “You are annoying you know that?”

Him: “I know bubbles, and I love annoying you.”

Me: “Geez!”

Him: “I know,” hhey this one is the pain in the ass. He puts on soccer channel O. “We need some snacks while watching TV. Don’t you have any?”

Me: “Kitchen.”

Him: “Get your flat ass up, and go get us some snacks.”

Me: “This is abuse!”

Him: “You ain’t seen nothing yet. Tonight is just the two of us bubbles, just the 2 of us, and no we are not going to have sex this is your mother’s house, not yours. But we can always go the graveyard nearby.”

Me: “Hhayi maarn!” He laughs.

Him: “Let me text the gents, and tell them to leave I’m not coming back.”

Me: “I’ll go, and get us those snacks.” I’m already on my feet.

Him: “Don’t forget some beer.”

Me: “I only have gin & Vodkas.”

Him: “Nizofa nibancane yazi, vodka will do just fine, and gin will be perfect for you.”

Me: “You don’t get to tell me to what to do.”

Him: “I know, and I just did tell you, funny enough you are following my orders bubbles,” he laughs.

Me: “Uyikaka wena yeva ungu swine.”

Him: “Its what we both in common, we are both swine’s, and more,” I laugh, and he joins me. He is such a fool, gosh.