TANGLED HEARTS.
- I CAN EXPLAIN.
Why does it often feel like time slows down when you’re paying close attention to it? This is a question that’s been floating in Amerie’s head as she closely monitors her watch while the last few seconds trickle at tortoise speed and lead up to last minute and then it is officially twelve o’clock, midday. Letting out a sigh of relief as though she’s just reached her final point from a marathon, she begins to detach herself from her work. She’s been looking forward to this moment and has been counting down ever since she clocked in for her half day, normally she would still have a few more hours to go before she could call it a day but today is one of her lucky days.
She has just finished with her last customer for the day and she switches with Lorraine who just clocked in for her half day too. They both worked out this arrangement because Amerie has plans for later and Lorraine loves her beauty sleep so whenever they are granted half days in order to balance their working hours, they first check in with each other for an arrangement that suits both of them. Amerie loves days like this and if she could have more of them without compromising her salary or standing with the pharmacy she would opt for more of them.
After taking off her white coat and carefully securing it so it doesn’t catch dirt or stains, she eagerly makes her way out of the pharmacy and joins the rest of the shoppers in the ever so big mall of Africa. She passes by checkers and contemplates making a stop so she can buy something to eat for Chase, when he let her know he wasn’t feeling well it immediately dampened her day and that is why she has been eyeing the clock, waiting to be freed from her job so she can go nurse her man.
Deciding that she will just make something for him quickly when she arrives, she passes through the shop that evidently has long queues today. Besides, he will appreciate a home cooked meal more than a store bought and microwaved one. Before exiting the building, she takes out her phone to check if he ever replied to her text when she told him she would be coming over and she realizes that it went through but he hasn’t opened it. He must be sleeping,she thinks to herself and then she abandones the chat that was left hanging and requests a ride to his place and then she steps closer to the exit of the mall but doesn’t step outside as it is raining. She searches for her umbrella inside her handbag and waits until the cars closer and only then she steps outside, when she spots the car make and verifies its registration with the one she has on her app and she starts moving towards it.
She carefully places her now wet umbrella between her feet so as to not get the seats wet and then she greets the driver, once she has confirmed her destination he gets on the road. Along the way, she keeps her eyes glued outside, watching as the rain falls, it is no longer strong like earlier but rather light, indicating thag it will not be stopping anytime soon. She has no problem with rain but only wishes that it would only rain when she is indoors and snuggled up in her pajamas with a hot cup of coffee and a good book or movie, not when she has to move around like this, it can get quite frustrating when you don’t have a car.
In no time, the driver delivers her outside Chase’s apartment building, she has already paid for the ride online so she simply thanks him for the ride before shutting the car door from the outside. Looking ahead, all complaints that she had about rain disappear, now she just wants to see her man and be in his arms. Entrance is no hassle as he has registered her already and when she reaches his door she only knocks once before trying her own key only to find that the main door is unlocked.
This unsettles her a little bit so she quietly open the door and makes her way inside while staying cautious of her surroundings. She rests her handbag and umbrella on the kitchen counter and the first thing that her eyes fall on the pair of block heel boots that are laying in the middle of his sitting area like a center piece.
Her mind does not get a chance to digest what may be going on as a loud and sultry moan sounds from his bedroom, immediately drawing her eyes and attention in that direction. She takes slow steps and when she touches the door handle, air gets stuck on her chest and she has to fight to let it out before she passes out right here.
“Harder, Chase! Please, don’t stop! Oh yes, baby, just like that!” The female cries and manly animalistic groans coming from the other side of the door took turns assaulting her fragile heart.
The longer she stands there, the more she risks the chance of passing out but still, she cannot command her legs to start moving, they are deliberately disobeying her. Her hand flirts yet again with the door handle, unsure of whether her heart will be able to survive the reality that awaits her on the other side. However, she knows that she has to do this, she has to or else Chase will once again accuse her of being an insecure girlfriend that he is sick of having to always explain himself to. As painful as it will be, she just has to catch him in the act. This way, he cannot not deny the truth, he cannot pin this on her or make her feel like she is being unfair toward him or she is letting her mind play tricks on her, so with one single grip, she twists the handle, opens the door and comes face to face with the image, just as it has already been painted in her head, no detail left out.
The action between the two lovers immediately comes to a halt, Chase is the first to react “Amerie, baby!” he yells, jumping off the messy haired brunette as though he has just realised that he was laying on top of hot coal. Covered in nothing except sweat and sex fluids of his partner, he marches toward a distraught Amerie.
“Don’t…don’t come near me” she sneers and stretches her hand out to stop his movement. Chase stands there, frozen in one spot like a thief that was caught stealing from a witch and now she has him on a spell.
“My love, please… I can explain,” He begins to beg and she shakes her head. What kind of explanation could possibily paint this scene in a different light? There is no explanation in the world that can make her believe that what she just saw isn’t what she thinks it is and he is not about to play his usual games on her, not when the three of them are together.
“No, I don’t want you to explain anything. You don’t need to explain because everything is clear, there is no explanation needed,” her voice is shaky, carrying the burden of having to come out from a throat that feels like it has barb wire around it.
“Baby-” He still says. His heart is hammering against his chest and his once hard manhood is now flaccid. Bloody traitor, just moments ago it was gladly rising to the occasion.
“Don’t, don’t bother. I’m done with this, you can go back to your woman now,” Amerie reaches for her handbag and umbrella and makes sure to not take his apartment keys. The really is nothing to discuss here.
He has no way out this time, he sees it in her eyes, she is done with him. He cannot blame it on her imagination and he most certainly cannot guilt trip her by saying she is comparing him to her ex.
It is all out in the open now, he is left exposed, literally.
As Amerie’s heart begins to resolve into pieces, she loses her ability to form coherent sentences as well. Chase has rendered her speechless and temporarily deaf because she cannot hear any of his pleading. She cannot hear him but her eyes can see clearly, everything has been laid out for her to see and only then do her legs do her justice as she manages to turn and walk out of Chase’s apartment and his life, all at the same time.
No amount of “Baby, I’m sorry” can get her to stop and listen to him and when he gets to the door he remembers that he is just as he was on the day he was born, so he cannot follow her outside. His heart races and aches for her to stop but she doesn’t, he doesn’t know what he would say if she were to stop but surely he could think of something to save his relationship with her, he has always been a fast thinker, he could figure out a way to make her forgive him like he always has, he knows Amerie, she is his girl but when she finally disappeares from his eyesight, something in his heart knows that he has lost her, for good.
Amerie rushes outside and only then she stops to catch her breath, the gathered clouds help her mourn her relationship while they shed their own tears as well and this time she does not care to open her umbrella. With the rain now pouring hard. She rushes to cross the street without taking a proper look to check if it is safe, a loud honk is what brings back her senses and she stands in that spot waiting for the impact, but it never comes. Instead, all she hears is the screeching of wheels and then everything stops.
“Goddammit! Do you have a death wish?” the driver bellows, his alarmed and barritone voice resounds at close proximity, forcing her to open her eyes.
“I’m very sorry, I-I wasn’t looking ”
“Damn right you weren’t, I could have killed you, or is that what you were hoping for?”The man angrily asks and
she quickly shoots her eyes up at the upset stranger who is scolding her and with trembling lips she whispers
“No”
The stranger is about to say something but then he sees her red, sorrowful eyes and his heart demands that he take it easy on the girl in front of him. They are both wet now but she’s worse and other drivers have started to honk at them for blocking the lane. He doesn’t know this girl but something tugs at him, seeing her cry does something to his own chest so without thinking twice he speaks “Get in the car, I will take you home” he offers, surprising himself because he doesn’t even know how far this home is but at the current moment, he isn’t concerned about the distance.
Amerie looks at the stranger again, with much uncertainty. Sure she is heartbroken but her brain still works perfectly fine and climbing in a stranger’s car isn’t the safest thing to do. When he notices her hesitation he speaks up again “Would you rather say here, soaking wet and risk getting knocked by a car? I’m not going to harm you but I also won’t force you to get in the car, it’s up to you,” he says then walks back to his car, leaving it completely up to her to decide what she wants to do. She decides to get in the car and enter her home location on his car screen and he starts moving.
“My name is Shane” the man says after a few minutes of complete silence. He proceeds to pass his license card to her then says “You can send my details to a trusted friend if you feel unsafe in here.
She doesn’t feel unsafe but she plays it safe anyway, she sends a picture of the license to her best friend then looks at him Thanks, I’m Amerie,”she mumbles and he doesn’t ask her anymore questions even though he is curious. Throughout the entire drive, Amerie cannot stop crying and this makes him grow more curious, he wonders what happened to her and he decides to put his curiousity to rest by asking, if she says she doesn’t want to talk about it, he will respect her wishes.
“What made you so upset?”
“I caught my boyfriend in bed with someone else” saying the words out loud shatters her heart even more and she sobs harder, four years down the drain, just like that. Shane cannot help but feel sorry for her. She looks young and can still move on and forget about this moment but he understands her pain, betrayal is the worst. He doesn’t remember the last time he suffered from a heartbreak like this, he must have been younger than she appears to be right now and he remembers just how it stung. He offers her his unused handkerchief to wipe her face and she takes it.
“You’re too kind, thank you” he wants to smile when she speaks without crying.
“You are welcome, Amerie,”
She can barely look him in the eyes now that embarrassment has chosen to join in her big ball of messed up emotions so she decides to keep her eyes fixed on the windows instead, anything to save her from the shame of having to face the man who has seen her break down, after she almost led to him running her over with his car. She remembers how he asked if she purposely did that then she looks at him again, to correct that thought.
“I really wasn’t trying to kill myself, it was just an honest and careless mistake,”
“Mistakes like that can easily get you killed, Amerie. You don’t ever let anyone take control over your whole being like that,it’s not healthy.” He risks sounding like a father figure but he must just say this and she doesn’t know how to respond to that so she just nods.
When the car comes to a stop, Amerie thanks him for the ride and opens the door but he stops her.
“Hey, no guy is worth your tears. If he’s making you cry this hard then he definitely does not deserve you and you can do so much better than him, remember that,” unfortunately, his words do not make her feel any better, at this moment, they are just words.