NURSE THEMBENI
CHAPTER 31
MENZI
I just got off the phone with my father. I shouldn’t have answered his call. He’s put me in a bad mood. Phiwa is sitting up in bed, sheets pooled around her waist, arms crossed tight over her chest. She’s watching me with those big, quiet eyes that see everything I try to hide.
“What did he want?” Her voice is soft, but there’s steel underneath.
I rub my face with both hands.
“KaMajola’s family agreed to accept the lobola. It’s happening today.”
Phiwa lets out a tiny sound, but I hear it like a gunshot. Her face crumples for a second before she locks it down. She looks away, staring at the wall instead of me.
“So you’re marrying her today?”
“Phiwa…”
“No.” She turns back to me, her eyes shining with tears.
“Don’t ‘Phiwa’ me. You’re marrying her today. That’s what your father just said.”
I reach for her hand. She pulls it away fast.
“It’s not like that, this is politics, baby. It’s not about love. It’s never been about love. I don’t love her.”
Phiwa laughs, it sounds bitter.
“You keep saying that like it makes it better. Like if I hear it enough times I’ll believe it, but I don’t. I can’t, Menzi.”
She wipes her eyes, as if she’s ashamed of the tears.
“I’m marrying her for the throne, you already know that. Once I have it, everything changes. I can protect us. I can bring you and Hlengwa out of hiding. No more living like this.”
My father will accept them because he will have what he’s always wanted.
P
“And what about the life we already have? What about the life Hlengwa already has? You keep promising ‘soon.’ Soon we’ll be together. Soon we’ll be safe. Soon you’ll leave her. But soon never comes, Menzi. It just gets later and later.”
Her voice cracks on my name. It hurts more than any shout would.
I move closer, she doesn’t pull away this time. I take her face in my hands, thumbs brushing the tears on her cheeks.
“I love you, I have never lied about that, not once. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved like this. The only one I dream about. The only one I want to wake up to every morning. Everything I’m doing, every lie, every meeting, every risk… it’s all for you and our son.”
Phiwa closes her eyes, more tears slip out.
“Then why does it feel like I’m losing you?” she whispers.
I pull her into my arms, she lets me. Her arms wrap around my waist, fingers digging into my back.
“I’m not going anywhere, I swear to you. This marriage will be a crown I need to wear so I can keep us safe. But my heart? My soul? That’s yours, only yours.”
She cries harder against my shirt, releasing silent sobs that shake her whole body. I hold her tighter, rocking us, the way I do when Hlengwa has nightmares.
“I hate this,” she chokes out. “I hate sharing you. I hate waiting and pretending I’m okay when I’m dying inside every time you leave.”
“I know, I hate it too. But once the throne is mine, I can change everything. I can protect you both, I will give Hlengwa the life he deserves.”
She pulls back and looks up at me with red eyes.
The door flies open.
“Daddy!”
Hlengwa runs in, he’s in his spiderman pajamas. He launches himself at me. I catch him mid-air, lift him high, then pull him into a hug. His little arms wrap around my neck.
“Morning, superhero,” I say, kissing his cheek. “How did you sleep?”
“Good! I dreamed I was flying with Spider-Man!”
I laugh. “You’re gonna fly higher than Spider-Man one day. I know it.”
Phiwa is still sitting on the bed, wiping her face, she’s trying to hide the tears. Her sniffs are too loud.
“Mommy is crying?” Hlengwa says.
Phiwa forces a smile. “Mommy’s okay, baby. Just happy Daddy’s home.”
Hlengwa looks at me. “You staying today?”
I feel Phiwa’s eyes on me.
“I have to go to work for a little bit, son. But I’ll be back soon I promise.”
Hlengwa pouts, he is not happy. Phiwa tands up, takes Hlengwa from me and holds him close.
“Think of your son when you go to the Majola homestead today. Is this the life you want him to live? Always in hiding and waiting for his father to come home from another woman’s family?”
Her voice breaks on the last word.
I feel helpless. I want to promise her the world, tell her everything will be different soon. That I’m doing this for them.
But right now, with my son in her arms and tears on her face, all my plans feel hollow.
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MEHLOKAZULU
When I step out of the bathroom, Thembeni is already dressed. I stop walking, taking a moment to stare at her. She’s wearing my grey tracksuit. The sleeves of the hoodie are too long, covering half her hands. The pants are rolled up at the ankles because they’re too big for her.
She looks ridiculous, and somehow… she looks perfect.
Something warm settles in my gut. I didn’t expect to feel like this so early in the morning.
“Awu madoda, uwena lo dali?”
She turns around quickly when she hears my voice. The smile on her face is wide, she looks proud of herself.
“You’re raiding my closet now, KaMajola?”
“It’s comfortable and it smells like you.”
That does something to me.
“Ngicela ukusondela kwa nhliziyo ngise.” (Can I come closer to where my heart leads me?)
I have never seen her blush, I can’t believe my eyes.
“Ubuhle obungaka, KaMajola? Hhayi, ngiyalingwa.” (Such beauty? I’m being tested.)
That fuels her sheepishness. I take slow steps toward her, watching the way she keeps pulling at the drawstring, as if she’s trying to make the pants fit better. In three steps I’m standing right in front of her.
She leans back slightly against the wardrobe and looks up at me. Her eyes are shining, that bottom lip of hers is trapped between her teeth.
She does that when she’s nervous. Or when she knows exactly what she’s doing to me. I’m so sure she is not aware of this trait.
“Careful,” I murmur, brushing my thumb across her lip until she lets it go. “You keep stealing my clothes and I might start charging rent.”
She laughs softly.
“With what currency?”
A smile pulls at the corner of my mouth. I lean closer until our noses almost touch.
“With kisses, lots of them. Paid in advance.”
Her breath catches, I feel it against my lips.
“Golide…”
I kiss her before she can say anything else. That name needs to go, I’m not her sugar daddy. She melts into me almost immediately. Her hands slide up my chest, her fingers pressing into my skin just enough to make me breathe out.
For a moment the world disappears. When I finally pull back, her cheeks are flushed and her eyes look a little unfocused. It takes everything in me to remember what I need to say next.
“We need to talk,” I tell her.
My voice sounds rougher than I expected. She gives me a slow nod, she’s still catching her breath.
“Okay.”
I step back a little, the distance feels wrong immediately, but I force myself to stay there.
“You have to go back to work today.”
Her face drops so quickly it almost makes me regret saying it.
“You’re chasing me away?”
That would never happen.
“No, never.” I quickly say, touching her cheek.
I let my hand stay there for a moment, hoping these two words wiped out those thoughts from her head.
“But you have to continue with life as per usual, as if nothing happened. The palace has to stay a secret. If people start asking where you disappeared to, things will get messy. Questions will come and questions always lead to trouble.”
“So what am I expected to do?” She asks.
“Go back to the hospital, live your normal life and act like nothing has changed.”
Her brow furrows slightly.
“I have to go back to Manzana? I was hoping to stay here for a week at least.”
That puts a smile on my face. Does this mean I am winning her heart?
“You can stay for as long as you want, mama. As long as no one knows about this place. Not your brothers, friends, not even your mother.”
Her eyes widen a little.
“What happens if they find out?”
“One word in the wrong ear and everything falls apart. I can’t explain everything to you, at the moment. But I need you to help me keep this secret.”
She sighs and looks away.
“I already told Nala and Qondi, my friends.”
For a second my brain goes completely still, then everything starts moving fast. I feel it instantly, the part of me that always calculates risk.
“I called them yesterday, I was confused and scared. I needed someone to talk to.” She says.
I breathe out a slow breath. Looking at her face right now, wide eyes, guilt written all over it, I can see she’s expecting the worst from me. I take her hand.
“It’s okay, Phakade lami. I will sort it out.”
Her eyes grow even wider.
“What do you mean sort it? Mehlo… are you going to hurt them?”
The idea is so ridiculous it actually surprises me.
“You think I’d hurt your friends?” I ask.
She shrugs helplessly.
“You are a king. You just say one word in the wrong ear and everything burns, my friends disappear.”
I pull her into my arms before she can say anything else. She feels stiff at first, she’s still unsure of me right now. I exhale when she relaxes against me.
“I would burn this world for you, yes. But I would never hurt people you love.”
That part is true. She nods against my chest.
“Okay,” she whispers.
I kiss the top of her head.
“Get ready for work, I can’t go out while still under traditional medicine. Mvikeli will drive you to work, he will be your driver hence forth.”
Her head lifts immediately.
“My driver?”
“Yes.”
“Like… a driver- driver?” she asks.
I smile.
“You’re a priceless jewel, Thembeni. Jewels get protected.”
She studies my face for a moment.
“Why didn’t you protect me before I knew about the throne?”
I run my knuckles down her cheek.
“Who said I didn’t?” I say.
“What?”
“How do you think I knew about that dinner you were invited to at the palace?” I ask.
Her forehead wrinkles.
“I came to fetch you unannounced that day because I already knew that you were invited at the palace. I’ve had eyes on you for a long time, since the day I realized I couldn’t walk away.”
Shock spreads across her face.
“You… watched me?”
“I protected you from a distance.”
Until staying away stopped being possible.
She looks down suddenly, almost like she doesn’t know what to do with that information.
“I need to get ready,” she murmurs.
“Go.”
She disappears into the bathroom.
I sit on the edge of the bed while I wait. My heart is still beating too fast from kissing her. Is that normal? I’m already deeper in this than I ever planned to be.
The bathroom door opens a few minutes later. Thembeni comes out with her hair tied up, the tracksuit is still hanging loosely on her body. She looks comfortable. I walk over and lift her chin gently.
“You look good,” I say.
She smirks. “I’m keeping the tracksuit.”
“Bring it back, or I’ll have to come collect it myself.”
She laughs softly. I take her hand and lead her toward the door.
“Mvikeli is waiting,” I tell her.
Then I stop her before she steps out.
“Themi.”
She looks back at me.
“No one should know about this place, not even your mother.”
“I understand.” She says.
I kiss her forehead. “Go save lives, then come back to me tonight.”
She smiles. “I will.”
I watch her walk away before I permit the guards to shut the door. If anyone ever tries to take her from me again. They won’t like the man they force me to become.
Damn that woman.
I should be thinking about getting the throne back, and the rules that have guided kings before me… but all I can think about is the way she makes me feel. A king should not chase after a woman like a desperate boy. Yet here I am.
The door opens out of the blue and my jaw tightens immediately. MaPhikela walks in with her maidens trailing behind her. My mood turns dark so quickly it almost makes me laugh.
This woman has courage. Or stupidity. Maybe both.
“Didn’t I say you should never show your face to me again?”
Her head drops at once.
“I am sorry, Ndabezitha. I came to apologize. I did not mean to walk in while you were with KaMajola.”
“I told you never to come before me, MaPhikela. Are you going against my word now?”
She shakes her head vigorously.
“No, Ndabezitha. I was worried about you.”
The word irritates me to the core. MaPhikela has always liked pretending she knows what is best for me. As if raising me somehow gave her the right to control the man I became.
“You should not have done that, Ndabezitha. Sleeping with her before marriage was a mistake. The seer must cleanse you, it is important.”
A bitter laugh escapes me before I can stop it.
“Get off my back, MaPhikela.”
The hurt flashes across her face but she doesn’t retreat. That’s the problem with her. She never knows when to stop.
“You must do the cleansing bath, please. It is for your own good.”
My patience thins, she knows things are not as she says they are.
“KaMajola is not like other women, she is not an outsider. She was chosen for me. There is nothing wrong with what we did.”
MaPhikela lifts her head to glance at me. The look in her eyes already tells me I won’t like what comes next.
“Have you forgotten that you are supposed to marry a virgin? Not some loose girl who…”
“Shut the hell up.”
The words come out before she can finish and for a moment the room is silent. But MaPhikela is nowhere near backing down.
“What has gotten into you, Mehlokazulu? Have you forgotten why we are here? The years of planning your revenge? Now this girl appears and suddenly you are not putting the throne first. You are forgetting who you are and risking everything for a woman that can easily be replaced.”
She’s wrong. Thembeni is not easily replaced, she can never be replaced, even if I tried.
“So this is your way of telling me KaMajola is not worthy to sit on the throne beside me?” I ask.
MaPhikela’s eye remain cold.
“KaMajola lost her worth the moment she slept with a man outside of marriage.”
The hypocrisy is unbelievable.
“What about me, MaPhikela?”
She frowns.
“I am not a virgin either. I’m the one who took her innocence. Does that make me less worthy to be king?”
She looks almost offended by the comparison.
“That is different, Ndabezitha.”
Of course it is. It is always different when the rules are made by people like her.
“You were warned not to sleep with KaMajola before marriage. Now you are making sacrifices that could jeopardize your reign as king. After everything we did to build this kingdom, you are ready to turn it to ruins for a woman who does not even love you.”
That last part stings more than I want to admit. Who is she to speak about my love?
“Who are you to advise me?” I ask coldly.
My questions brings a new expression on her face, she’s hurt, tears form behind her eyes.
“I am your mother.” Her voice trembles. “I raised you, only I know what is best for you, Mehlo. We were supposed to rule along side each other. KaMajola is not worth your time, she shouldn’t be part of this legacy. Let her return to her father’s house. We will appease the ancestors.”
“MaPhikela!” A shout escapes through my lips and she flinches. “Know your place.”
The room goes dead quiet. Pain flashes across her face.
“Do not stand here and teach me how to run my kingdom, and do not tell me what to do with my life. I will fix whatever I broke. Including KaMajola’s innocence.”
A knock comes through, and for a second I almost tell whoever it is to get lost. The door opens and Mvikeli walks in. I don’t even react to it. Mvikeli is the only man in this palace who moves like that around me. Anyone else would have been dragged out by the guards already.
But Mvikeli is different. He is my protector, the man would stand in front of a gun for me without blinking. His eyes move quickly from me to MaPhikela. He reads the room in a second. He always does.
“Why are you still here, Mvikeli? KaMajola will be late for work.”
He clears his throat slightly as he bows his head before me.
“Ndabezitha… may we speak in private? It won’t take long.”
I turn my head toward MaPhikela. I don’t have to say a word. She knows that look. Her shoulders drop and she lowers her head before turning toward the door. Her maidens hurry after her like frightened chickens. The guards shut the door behind them. I click my tongue in irritation, still feeling the heat of that argument.
“What is wrong, Ndabezitha?”
“Nothing.”
The lie leaves my mouth easily. The truth is my blood is still boiling. MaPhikela always knows exactly which nerve to press. She’s always acting like she owns me because she helped raise me, as if that makes her my mother.
“Where is KaMajola?” I ask.
“She is in the car.” Mvikeli says.
“Is there a reason you are keeping my queen waiting?”
“I wanted to give you an update.”
Now he has my attention.
“We managed to get all the cows. The boys have already sold half of them to a farmer from Lesotho.” He says.
Half is not good enough. I wanted those cows gone before sunrise.
“That’s not good news, Mvikeli.”
Most men would think the job is already done, but this isn’t just about stealing the cattle. This is about humiliating Ngiyabonga. Those cows were not just cows, they were his pride. They were the bride price he planned to march proudly into KaMajola’s father’s yard with, so his precious son Menzi could claim KaMajola.
I imagine his face when he discovers they’re gone. The great Ngiyabonga running around his kraal like a madman while his people search empty fields. The thought warms something dark inside me.
“I want every single cow sold before eight this morning. No traces, no recovery and no chance for that old man to reclaim what he thinks belongs to him.
“Yebo, Ndabezitha. We are working on it. Ngiyabonga is losing his mind as we speak.”
That does it. A slow grin spreads across my face before I can stop it. I want him to panic and feel what it’s like to lose control. For once, the mighty Ngiyabonga gets to taste helplessness.
“Good,” I say to Mvikeli.
Then I flick my hand toward the door.
“Now go, don’t keep my woman waiting.”
He bows his head and leaves.
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