Chapter 146\u00a0<\/p>\n
Ellie POV\u00a0<\/p>\n
I stared down at Nolan\u2019s hands, each of his index fingers enclosed in one of the twins tiny fists. My heart raced. It wasn\u2019t supposed to happen like this. It wasn\u2019t supposed to happen at all.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Of course, I knew that was ridiculous there was no way I could have hidden the children from him forever, but the timing couldn\u2019t have been worse.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And the guilt that flooded through me as I saw the watery look in his eyes- it was almost unbearable. He stared down at their little hands then looked back at me, and for a moment I thought he\u2019d actually cry.\u00a0<\/p>\n
His voice came out low, low enough that I\u2019m pretty sure Cassian and Kieran couldn\u2019t hear him.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThey\u2019re alive?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t what it looks like,\u201d I said automatically.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It was a ridiculous thing to say. It was a lie and everyone could tell, but I couldn\u2019t stop myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t do that,\u201d Nolan said, his voice dropping to a warning tone. \u201cDon\u2019t you look me in my eyes and tell me these aren\u2019t my children. They\u2019ve got my hair, Ellie. My nose. Look at them.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cNolan I-\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI can smell it, Ellie. They\u2019re mine.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Nolan\u2019s eyes were blazing as he looked at me. I couldn\u2019t quite tell whether it was anger or something else.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are their names?\u201d he asked, his gaze dropping back to the boys.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is August,\u201d I said, nodding to the right. \u201cAnd Ian,\u201d I nodded left.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cAugust and Ian,\u201d he repeated.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I looked up as Cassian moved closer. Our eyes met and I caught a flash of something that looked a lot like guilt in his gaze. I could feel it too.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The way that Nolan was looking at the boys was impossible to miss. He ran his thumbs carefully over their little hands as the gripped his fingers. His eyes were moving over their features what awe, as if they were the most precious things he\u2019d ever seen.\u00a0<\/p>\n
As if he couldn\u2019t force himself to look away.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d he asked softly. \u201cWhy did you hide them from me, Ellie?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
The question made something twist in my chest. Guilt, but also anger. How dare he ask me something like that?\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy did I hide them?\u201d I repeated, my voice filled with disbelief. \u201cWhat a stupid question.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
His eyes lifted to meet mine, and all of the tenderness vanished in an instant.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cExcuse me?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
1\/3\u00a0<\/p>\n
Chapter 146\u00a0<\/p>\n
+25 Bonus\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYou know exactly why,\u201d I snapped. \u201cAfter everything you\u2019ve done to me over the years, how could I possibly trust someone like you to care for children?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
Nolan carefully pulled his hands away from the boys and sat back, holding my gaze steadily. \u201cI know that I was a bastard to you,\u201d he said, keeping his tone even and controlled, \u201cbut I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that you honestly think I would hurt our children.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
I kept my gaze locked with his, but I couldn\u2019t make those words come. Nolan hurting the boys wasn\u2019t ever what I was afraid of.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I knew that he\u2019d never physically harm them. He\u2019d never been physically abusive with me, so the thought of him lashing out to a child was ridiculous.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s not what I was talking about,\u201d I replied. \u201cYou know that you can cause plenty of pain without physically doing anything, and I didn\u2019t know how you would react after everything.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI would have been happy! I would have been thrilled!\u201d An almost disbelieving laugh interrupted his words. \u201cDo you have any idea the hell I\u2019ve put myself through over the past year, thinking that I caused their deaths? Thinking that they were gone because I failed to protect you- to protect them?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
He turned his head to look at Cassian, who was standing nearby, ready to intervene if I needed him to.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYou knew.\u201d It wasn\u2019t a question; it was a statement, and I caught the betrayal in his voice as he said it.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI did,\u201d Cassian confirmed. \u201cThe boys have been staying in Moonstone. I\u2019ve been taking care of them since Ellie returned to Silver Fang.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, at least they were with family,\u201d Nolan said bitterly.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The thought of Lance came to me and I pushed it away. If Nolan felt betrayed by me and Cassian, I could only imagine what his response would be when he eventually learned that Lance knew about the boys, too.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Now wasn\u2019t the time for that. I didn\u2019t need to pile on when he already looked like he was struggling to process\u00a0<\/p>\n
the situation.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cLet\u2019s talk about this at home,\u201d he said, turning back to me again.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThe boys, it\u2019s time to take them home,\u201d he said matter of factly. \u201cI think it\u2019s well past time.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pack house isn\u2019t their home,\u201d I replied sharply, getting to my feet and lifting the boys into my arms. Their home is Moonstone.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
((\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d Nolan said, his gaze shifting between me and Cassan, as if looking for some sign that he had been missing that would explain all of this away. \u201cTheir home is with us.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cTheir home is with me,\u201d I replied. \u201cThey\u2019re my children, Nolan. My babies.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd mine,\u201d he said angrily.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re getting divorced. Do I need to remind you of that? When that happens the boys are coming with me.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
The look that crossed his face was one of pure panic and a sound halfway between a growl and a gasp escaped\u00a0<\/p>\n
2\/3\u00a0<\/p>\n
Chapter lay\u00a0<\/p>\n
+25 Bonus\u00a0<\/p>\n
his throat.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYou aren\u2019t taking them away from me again,\u201d he snapped.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The anger on his face was obvious as he stood in front of me, but so was the panic in his eyes. Guilt twisted in me, but I couldn\u2019t let that control me. I had already made my choice about this, and I couldn\u2019t afford to back down now.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t up for debate. They\u2019re my children. I\u2019m the one who\u2019s been there for them-\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause you wouldn\u2019t let me!\u201d he growled. \u201cYou hid their existence from me! You don\u2019t get to hold that against me now and act like I chose not to be there!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYou don\u2019t get to tell me what to do!\u201d I shouted back defensively.\u00a0<\/p>\n
He was right, and I knew it. But I couldn\u2019t let myself admit it. Not like this.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cCassian, let\u2019s take the boys home,\u201d I said, walking past Nolan.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Nolan whipped around to look at me, the panic that flashed across his face unmistakable. Seeing him so emotionally raw was too much for me. I had to get away from him and clear my head so I could figure out the right way to handle this situation.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d Nolan demanded. He took a step toward us, his hand moving toward August.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cHome. To Moonstone,\u201d I replied tensely.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re taking them back to Moonstone?\u201d he touched August\u2019s hair lightly. His other hand came up to brush against Ian\u2019s hand.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s what I said.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
I saw the conflict in his expression. I knew that he wanted to argue with me, but to my surprise, he pulled back, putting more distance between us.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cThis isn\u2019t over, Ellie. We have to talk about this. They\u2019re my children.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n
I couldn\u2019t respond. I hugged the boys a little tighter, and Cassian put his arm around my shoulders. A look passed between him and Nolan before Cassian steered me away.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I knew that Nolan was right; this was far from over. But for the time being, all that mattered was getting the boys home safely.\u00a0<\/p>\n
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