VOID
\n\u00a92026 Sanelisiwe Ndlovu Hoko
\nCHAPTER EIGHT
\nSIPHOKAZI
\nI stand in the centre of our bedroom, frozen like an actress who\u2019s forgotten her lines mid-scene. What do I do now? My mouth hangs open, heart pounding against my ribs.
\nKayise caught me off guard. If I\u2019d known she\u2019d corner me like that, I\u2019d have rehearsed my lies and prepared my defences. Instead, I hung up like a coward, leaving her with questions I can\u2019t answer and worse, knowing she knows something.
\nThe fortress I built between my children and their paternal bloodline is cracking. I can hear the stones shifting. I have no doubt that soon, it\u2019ll collapse and bury me in the rubble.
\n\u201cArgh!\u201d I rip off my bonnet and hurl it at the wall as if it whispered my secrets to Kayise.
\nThe door opens. Nigel walks in carrying a tray. The smell of freshly ground coffee and sizzling bacon floods the room.
\n\u201cBreakfast is ready,\u201d he says.
\n\u201cI\u2019m not hungry.\u201d
\n\u201cSince when do you skip breakfast?\u201d
\n\u201cI have bigger problems than useless things like food.\u201d
\nHe places the tray on the side table, slides a hand into his pocket and locks eyes with me. \u201cI told you I was going to the kitchen to cook. Why didn\u2019t you stop me then and tell me no to bother with useless things?\u201d
\n\u201cYou want to shove food down my throat even if I say I\u2019m full?\u201d
\n\u201cSuit yourself.\u201d He sits, stirs his coffee, and takes a loud, deliberate slurp. He knows I hate that sound, hence he does it to annoy me.
\n\u201cYou don\u2019t care about my well-being,\u201d I pout.
\n\u201cYou want to act like a child throwing tantrums, expecting me to be a prophet who reads your mind? You have a mouth. Use it. And if you think I\u2019ll beg you to talk you will have grey hair still waiting.\u201d
\nHe picks up toast, spreads thick bread spread, layers on two strips of bacon, and bites.
\n\u201cIt\u2019s Kayise and Lihle,\u201d I say, hoping he\u2019ll finally look up.
\nHe scoffs. \u201cWe\u2019ve been having that girl for breakfast, lunch, and supper. I\u2019m tired of her.\u201d
\n\u201cTired? I told you to deal with her but you refused. Now she\u2019s onto us. She\u2019s recruited Kayise. Do you know what that means?\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m not playing guessing games.\u201d He doesn\u2019t look up from his plate.
\n\u201cWait until Kayise finds out you spent eighteen years cashing her father\u2019s pension money. Then you\u2019ll stop guessing.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019ll cross that bridge when we get there.\u201d
\n\u201cHow can you eat?\u201d My stomach turned to ice the moment Kayise said \u2018death certificate.\u2019 I had to rush to the toilet, bowels loose with fear. And here he is, chewing like the world isn\u2019t crumbling.
\n\u201cYou think refusing food will change anything?\u201d he says, wiping grease from his lips. \u201cI\u2019d rather be stressed on a full stomach.\u201d
\nIn all this chaos, the only thing on his mind is bacon? A grown man choosing breakfast over strategizing?
\n\u201cStuff your face,\u201d I snap. \u201cPrison doesn\u2019t serve bacon, by the way.\u201d
\n\u201cNo one is going to prison.\u201d
\nI hate how he is so calm about this. Something is not right. I feel it in my bones. Kayise has always asked about her father but it has never affected me like this. Right now even the mere thought of her makes the hair on my neck rise.
\n\u201cWhat is she finds out that you\u2019re the reason, she grew up without a father?\u201d I ask.
\nHe stops chewing and stares at me. \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d
\n\u201cYou heard me, Nigel.\u201d
\n\u201cPoint of correction, \u2018we.\u2019 It was a unanimous decision between you and me.\u201d
\nI just stare at him without a word surprised at how he is raising his voice at me? He sighs pushing away the plate of food. \u201cYou know it was for the best, Siphokazi.\u201d
\nI look down and nod. \u201cI know. it\u2019s just that\u2026 I\u2019m scared.\u201d
\n\u201cYou have nothing to worry about. No one will ever find out if you don\u2019t confess. Twenty years now, with the resources in our country you think they can launch an investigation?\u201d
\nIt\u2019s not about me confessing or an investigation being launched, it about the guilty conscience that has made itself a permanent residence in me. I know the truth, Nigel doesn\u2019t. He knows the edited version of the truth of which I\u2019m not sure how he will feel once he finds out I lied about everything. I used him to get rid of a man I no longer loved.
\nSINENHLANHLA
\nMethembe has been slicing into my leg for fifteen minutes. There\u2019s no blood coming out. Just clear fluid oozing from the cuts. How can a limb that carried me through fire, through grief, through twenty-five years of survival suddenly go dead? Like it\u2019s been severed from me without a sound?
\n\u201cI\u2019ll add more salt,\u201d Methembe mutters, sprinkling coarse grains into the wounds. He watches my face, searching for a flinch, a gasp or anything to show my nerves are now working.
\nI told him long ago that I feel nothing. But he\u2019s desperate for his remedy to work. Perhaps it\u2019s a good thing its not working, because knowing him, I would owe him for the rest of my life.
\nKayise sits curled in the corner, knees hugged to her chest, silent since the first cut. Her eyes are red part flu and part horror.
\n\u201cAnyone home?\u201d A voice calls outside.
\nKayise\u2019s face lifts. She scrambles up, grabs a chair and sets it near me.
\n\u201cCome in,\u201d Methembe says, tossing his razor blade onto the table like a surrender.
\nChimney steps in, sits where Kayise placed the chair and we exchange greetings.
\n\u201cKayise told me about your leg,\u201d he says gently. \u201cHow are you feeling?\u201d
\nI shrug and point. \u201cNothing. It\u2019s not working.\u201d
\nLike Methembe, he touches my toes lightly, testing as watches my face for any reaction of pain.
\nIt hurts, not the touch, but the doubt in their eyes. As if I\u2019m lying. As if I\u2019d fake this.
\n\u201cI cut her and put salt,\u201d Methembe says, shaking his head. \u201cStill nothing.\u201d
\n\u201cYou did what?\u201d Chimney\u2019s voice drops low. \u201cMsebele, how can you do such a thing?\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m trying to boost her blood flow.\u201d
\n\u201cBy cutting her?\u201d
\nChimney crouches, examining my leg, now weeping more fluid from the salt. \u201cKayise, bring water. Help her wash this nonsense off.\u201d
\nHe turns to Methembe, eyes blazing. \u201cDo you realize you could cripple her? She feels nothing. What if you slice a vein? She won\u2019t scream. You won\u2019t even know.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m trying to help! You think I enjoy handling razors?\u201d
\n\u201cYou\u2019re not helping. You\u2019re harming. Nhlanhla doesn\u2019t need incisions. There\u2019s nothing wrong with her blood flow.\u201d
\n\u201cOh, so I\u2019m hurting a child while trying to save her? Fine. You help her, if you know better.\u201d Methembe stands, ready to leave.
\nChimney lets out a dry chuckle. \u201cAre you this ignorant or doing it on purpose? You\u2019re an adult, Msebele. You come home to find a house burned out of nowhere. Now her leg goes stiff out of nowhere. And you call that normal?\u201d
\n\u201cWas I there when the house burned? Maybe they left a candle\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cWe can argue all day,\u201d Chimney cuts in. \u201cBut this isn\u2019t normal. This is a message. A strong one from the ancestors. And it must be dealt with urgently.\u201d
\nSilence crashes down. Even Kayise stops sniffling. It\u2019s as if Chimney dropped a live grenade and said, Whoever moves dies.
\nI hold my breath, the word \u2018ancestors,\u2019 is like poison in my chest.
\n\u201cWhy would my ancestors send a message through her?\u201d Methembe asks.
\n\u201cWho said they\u2019re your ancestors?\u201d Chimney replies, still circling his fingers around my foot, not looking up. \u201cSinenhlanhla is a Ndlovu. Her bloodline knows her.\u201d
\n\u201cI don\u2019t have ancestors,\u201d I blurt out angrily. \u201cI don\u2019t want their message.\u201d
\n\u201cYou don\u2019t get to choose, Sne,\u201d Chimney says quietly. \u201cIf they want to speak through you, they will. And they won\u2019t stop until you listen or deliver what they demand. They\u2019re selfish, but that\u2019s how it works.\u201d
\nI shake my head hard. No. Where were they when I walked to school with holes in my shoes? When my mother vanished into another man\u2019s life? Twenty years of silence and now they show up with drama?
\n\u201cYou mean the ancestors burned my house just to send a message?\u201d
\nChimney meets my eyes and nods.
\n\u201cI\u2019m not sure it is, but this? It\u2019s not just a message, Sne. It\u2019s war. Perhaps they\u2019ve communicated with you before and you didn\u2019t listen.\u201d
\nA house I built with my own sweat. Denied myself joy and comfort just to have something. They took it within hours like it was nothing.
\n\u201cFuck ancestors,\u201d I spit. \u201cI\u2019ll never listen. They can take everything. I don\u2019t care. Message or war, I\u2019m ready.
\nI\u2019m still about to add more, to curse those so-called ancestors who only show up with riddles and ruin, instead of help, when my mouth betrays me. It twists sideways, like a puppet yanked by invisible strings. I try to speak, but words come out slurred. I can feel my face isn\u2019t mine anymore.
\n\u201cDo you want to insult ancestors again?\u201d Chimney asks.
\nI don\u2019t talk; I just let the tears carve their way down my face like they\u2019re mapping my surrender. I\u2019m not angry, I\u2019m just defeated.
\n.
\n.
\n.
\n.
\n.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
VOID \u00a92026 Sanelisiwe Ndlovu Hoko CHAPTER EIGHT SIPHOKAZI I stand in the centre of our bedroom, frozen like an actress […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18982","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-void-novel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18982","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18982"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18982\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18993,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18982\/revisions\/18993"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18982"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18982"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18982"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}