VOID
\n\u00a92026 Sanelisiwe Ndlovu Hoko
\nCHAPTER SIX
\nSINENHLANHLA
\n\u201cBath your father\u2019s child!\u201d Sibongile snaps.
\nIt\u2019s still dark, the winter morning air carves through my skin straight to bone and marrow. The tap spits out water so cold it bites my fingers. My hands shake. So does two-year-old Kayise, shivering in her soiled dress, eyes wide with shame.
\n\u201cI told you yesterday not to feed her beans,\u201d Sibongile hisses. \u201cBut you wanted to spoil her, angithi?\u201d
\n\u201cShe was still opening her mouth when I was feeding\u2014\u201d
\nA slap cracks across my cheek, sending me stumbling backward into the wall. My skull knocks against brick. Stars burst behind my eyes, silencing me instantly.
\n\u201cWhen I speak, you zip your mouth. This is my house angifuni makaka la. If you want to be shitting, I will send you to your mother.\u201d
\nI nod fast, over and over, massaging the lump rising on my temple. Kayise stares at me, lip trembling. She always cries when I cry. I blink hard, swallowing the lump in my throat like broken glass.
\nStupid girl. All she had to do was say she needed the toilet. I wash her quickly then dress her in clean clothes. Just as I think it\u2019s over, Sibongile points to the soiled blankets.
\n\u201cWash those too.\u201d
\nI stomp them in the basin with my bare feet, icy water sloshing over my ankles, while she watches, arms crossed, hurling insults.
\n\u201cSiphokazi is stressing me, man,\u201d she mutters, shoving me aside. \u201cI can\u2019t be dealing with poop at my age. I just want to enjoy my pension in peace.\u201d
\nA dog barks, jolting me back to the present. It\u2019s already dark. I\u2019m not sure for how long I\u2019ve been standing alone in the yard, lost in memory, staring into nothing. A tear slips down my cheek. I wipe it away and take a slow breath, grounding myself.
\nFootsteps approach and Kayise appears from the small path near the garden. She\u2019s been gone since afternoon. She got a call from someone who needed braiding.
\n\u201cWhat did I say about traveling at night?\u201d I ask. \u201cBring the money here. I don\u2019t want another episode of R10K hidden under the bed.\u201d
\n\u201cYou don\u2019t get to control my money, Sne,\u201d she snaps. \u201cSame way you don\u2019t get to make decisions for me.\u201d
\n\u201cCalm down. What\u2019s wrong?\u201d
\n\u201cWhen were you going to tell me, our aunt was here?\u201d
\nI freeze. \u201cWhich aunt?\u201d I play dumb, heart hammering.
\n\u201cDon\u2019t you dare make me a fool, Sne. Who is Lihle?\u201d
\nI gulp. Before I can speak, she cuts in, \u201cChimney saw her at the meeting earlier and spoke to her. She told him everything.\u201d
\n\u201cI was trying to protect you, Kayise.\u201d
\n\u201cProtect me from what? You were just being selfish. Just because something doesn\u2019t work for you doesn\u2019t mean it won\u2019t work for everyone else.\u201d
\n\u201cIt\u2019s not like that. Those people are evil. Why show up now when we\u2019re grown? We don\u2019t need them.\u201d
\n\u201cSpeak for yourself.\u201d Her voice cracks. \u201cWhat evil have they actually done to us? And don\u2019t give me that \u2018they didn\u2019t raise us\u2019 line. Give me one evil act. One.\u201d
\nI cross my arms. \u201cFine. Then you tell me one good thing they ever did for you. They\u2019ve never even seen your face, not in a photo, not in person.\u201d
\n\u201cExactly! That\u2019s why meeting Lihle would\u2019ve meant everything to me. Don\u2019t you think I\u2019ve ever wanted to meet someone from our father\u2019s side? I had a chance and you took it away. You\u2019re selfish, Nhlanhla.\u201d
\n\u201cI\u2019m not selfish. When I looked at her, every hunger, every torn shoe, every night I cried myself to sleep, it all came rushing back. I almost strangled her. You\u2019d have done worse.\u201d
\n\u201cAnd you stole my chance to even try. When Chimney told me, I ran to the school, but they said she left because she wasn\u2019t feeling well. No one will give me her number. It hurts, Sne. Imagine hearing your blood is near and then\u2026 nothing.\u201d
\nShe steps closer, \u201cI\u2019ll never forgive you for this. You\u2019re selfish, just like your mother. I\u2019m not a child anymore. I can decide for myself. And if we\u2019re stuck with devils on this side\u2026\u201d She gestures toward the house. \u201c\u2026then maybe the devils on his side deserve a look too. No one\u2019s holy. No one\u2019s clean.\u201d
\nI see the ache beneath her anger. She never met our father, never heard his voice, never felt his hand on her head. My memories are faded, yes but I had them. Hers is pure absence and absence breeds hunger.
\n\u201cI\u2019m sorry, Kayise,\u201d I whisper. \u201cBut take it as a blessing. I saved you.\u201d
\n\u201cYou couldn\u2019t save your burning house, now you want to save\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cNhlanhla!\u201d Sibongile\u2019s voice slices through the dark from the kitchen doorway.
\nWe both jump. I head inside. I thought they\u2019d gone to bed since they were complaining about being tired.
\n\u201cI hope you\u2019re not out there talking to boys,\u201d she says, blowing her nose.
\n\u201cI was talking to Kayise.\u201d
\nKayise follows me in but instead of greeting, she blurts: \u201cMy aunt was here. And this one,\u201d she jabs a finger at me, \u201cdecided not to tell me. She thinks she\u2019s the only child of\u2014\u201d
\n\u201cVoetsek! Sit down and greet us first,\u201d Methembe growls from the corner, pipe smoke curling around his head. \u201cAunt here, aunt there, for what?\u201d
\nKayise sits, but no greeting comes. That\u2019s her. Always stubborn. Even as a child, she\u2019d do the exact opposite of what you told her, just to prove she could.
\nWe once visited Siphokazi in Bulawayo for holidays. She was fifteen by then if my memory serves me right. The visit lasted less than a week. Siphokazi ordered us to sit on the floor and not couches, while her other kids were allowed to sit and even jump on them.
\n\u201cCouches are for sitting, not decoration,\u201d Kayise said, plopping onto the velvet sofa.
\n\u201cYou\u2019re making my couches dirty!\u201d Siphokazi snapped.
\n\u201cAm I dirty? Or are your husband\u2019s kids clean while we\u2019re not?\u201d
\n\u201cMy husband doesn\u2019t like it when you sit there.\u201d
\n\u201cHe likes it when his kids sit, right? What about you, Mother? Do you not like us sitting?\u201d
\nBy morning, Sibongile had fetched us from the suburbs of high-ranking soldiers. I was furious, not because I liked sitting on floors or how Siphokazi\u2019s husband watched me with those dark, heavy eyes, but because I loved that huge television.
\nNow, Methembe leans forward. \u201cWhere did you hear about this aunt? Last I checked, you were born and raised in Bulawayo under my roof. You only have uncles, not aunts.
\nKayise doesn\u2019t flinch. \u201cI was raised under your roof only because my father died. If he hadn\u2019t, I wouldn\u2019t be here.\u201d
\n\u201cWhich father?\u201d Sibongile asks.
\n\u201cThe man who married my mother. Butholezwe.\u201d
\n\u201cSay that name one more time,\u201d Methembe says slowly, \u201cand you\u2019ll leave this yard faster than you came.\u201d
\nKayise stands.
\n\u201cButholezwe Ndlovu!\u201d she screams, voice cracking like thunder. \u201cButholezwe Ndlovu! BU-THO-LEZWE NDLO-VU!\u201d
\nTears stream down her face. Her chest heaves. She glares at Methembe like she\u2019s daring him to strike her.
\nSilence crashes down. Heavy and pregnant with meaning.
\n\u201cYou act like my father was a ghost. You won\u2019t stop me from saying his name. And yes I was raised by you. But I am not your child.\u201d Kayise adds, her chest rising and falling.
\n\u201cKayise, stop,\u201d I say, reaching for her.
\n\u201cNo, you stop!\u201d She shakes me off. \u201cLet me be! I want my father! I want my aunt! I want my grandmother!\u201d
\nMethembe\u2019s face darkens. \u201cYou\u2019ll go when I\u2019m dead. After all these years feeding you, clothing you, educating you, you wake up and say you want to run to them? They\u2019ll have to pay me back every cent I spent on you.\u201d
\n\u201cAs long as you have receipts,\u201d Kayise fires back, \u201cyou can demand millions I don\u2019t care.\u201d
\nI don\u2019t agree with her disrespect but part of me wants her to keep going. Because Methembe never paid a single school fee. Never bought us shoes. Never once called us \u201chis.\u201d He wants credit for a debt he never owed.
\n\u201cSne,\u201d Sibongile calls, voice suddenly thin. \u201cGive me water for my tablets.\u201d
\nI stand up. My left leg refuses to move.
\nI try again. Nothing. I pinch my thigh; I don\u2019t feel the sting. My foot stays frozen, numb and useless.
\n\u201cMy leg,\u201d I say, tapping it harder. \u201cPlease, my leg won\u2019t move.\u201d
\n\u201cHelp me please,\u201d I scream louder.
\nNo one answers. They all look at me like I\u2019m losing my mind. Maybe I\u2019m losing my mind.
\nHow can this happen? I walked here on my own two feet just minutes ago. Out of nowhere, my leg won\u2019t move, not a twitch, not a tremor. It\u2019s there, but it\u2019s not mine. It\u2019s just dead weight.
\nWhat kind of sickness strikes like this?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
VOID \u00a92026 Sanelisiwe Ndlovu Hoko CHAPTER SIX SINENHLANHLA \u201cBath your father\u2019s child!\u201d Sibongile snaps. It\u2019s still dark, the winter morning […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"set","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18980","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-void-novel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18980","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18980"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18980\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18991,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18980\/revisions\/18991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18980"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18980"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kezpres.xyz\/novelreading\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18980"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}