VOLUME 14
NTWENHLE
I have never wished for Zen to see like I do today. This place is magnificent! The breeze, the waves, the skies, Durban is just a different scene that deserves to be experience by every living thing. Something about the sea draws you in and you end up reflecting. I wish he could see this so we experience this serenity together, and make memories he’ll forever cherish.
“I wish you could see this place” I sigh, breathing in the sea breeze,
After dinner he asked that we go for walk down the beach even though we were warned that it is dangerous to be here at this time of the night, but Zen insisted.
Slowly we paddle down the beach barefooted and holding hands with nothing but silence and the sound of the waves hitting the shore. The night is beautiful, it gives the sea a different colour. Walking here feels like stepping into another phase of our relationship, it feels like we are solidifying this relationship to the universe.
“I know the place but I wish I could see it again to experience it with you” he say. It’s sad but it is what it is.
“One day when I get my eyesight back we’ll come back” he adds,
“I like the sound of that” I smile,
“Can I ask you something?” he doesn’t let go of my hand as we look at the sea. The waves are calm now, representing this moment right now. Everything is just so calm and perfect I wish we could stay like this forever,
“Of course you can ask me anything” I say,
He takes in a deep breath “If I never get my eyesight back……”
“I’m not going anywhere” I interject him, I know what he was going to ask. I felt it in the way his grip tightened around my hand and in the change in his breathing,
“Blind or not I don’t want to ever do this life thing with anyone but you” I assure him,
“Thank you” he breathes, “And I love you” he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it,
“One day when I can see again, we’ll come back here” he repeats
“I’m going to hold you to that promise” I say,
“Come here” he wrap his hand around my waist and pulls me closer to him. He cups my face with his free hand, leans down and brush his lips against mine. His lips are cold, soft and patient. He doesn’t rush the kiss, he seeks for permission to taste me and I grant him access, sending a shiver down my spine as the kiss deepens, and my heart skips a beat.
The world around us fades away as our mouths move in perfect sync. I wrap my arms around his waist, hold him like never before as his warm breath mingles with mine, and a rush of emotions attack me at once, excitement, love, lust and a connection I never knew existed until him.
“You’re going to kill me” he abruptly breaks our perfect moment but he doesn’t pull away. He presses his forehead against mine and we both catch breath together, breathing from each other as our hearts slowly lose pace,
I’m a blushing mess. We stay in our moment of silence appreciating each other with no words but emotions shared.
“This is our first real kiss” I point, grateful that he can’t see how giddy I am,
“Is it?” those forehead, head and pecks he is been giving don’t count. This right here counts!
“Can we stay like this forever?” he brushes my chin and pecks my lips again,
“We have to” I agree, this thing between us deserves to stay this way until the end of time,
“I want us to be like this forever, I don’t want us to change. No matter the parts of me you discover as we go please don’t change for me. I want you to pray for me even on days you hate me. You won’t love me every day but I want you to be my home no matter what happens”
“I won’t change on you Zen” I don’t know what promises I’m making here but I’m making them,
“Have you ever wondered why I call you kaMabaso?” he asks, he finally takes his forehead away from mine but his arms still wrap around my waist,
He looks down at me with a smile like he can see me. My man is handsome, really really handsome. I love everything about him.
“Because it’s your surname” I smile up at him,
He chuckles “That’s not why. For me, the first time I met you, you were put on my bed and you felt like home. You felt like what a Mabaso house hold is supposed to be, kaMabaso. It’s not about my surname, it’s about what you came into my life and captured. You represent a Mabaso house that soothes the younger Zenzele in me, the little boy that wished he had a mother to come home to everyday after school. You represent what the older Zenzele wants to make his home for his children, kaMabaso is what you are to me. For the younger me and for the older me. You’re my home Ntwenhle”
“You’re making me weak” I love me a vocal man!
He laughs “That’s the point. And by the way, there are no domkops in the Mabaso homestead, I have my own share of smart as8s trophies as well”
“The ugly ones are always smart, I’m not even surprised” I say and we both laugh.
“Zenzele, I love you too” I say when our laughter dies down,
“I know. And I thank you for that. You’ll forever love me and I’ll love you just as much if not more”
“What if you don’t like me?” I breathe,
“Hm?” he is confused,
This thing comes to me once in a while “What if the day you finally see me you don’t like what I look like?”
He chuckles “You worry about nonsense, Ntwenhle. Even if you look like a female version of me I would still love you” we both laugh, fortunately I look nothing like him.
“Let’s go back to the house before nyaope boys come steal you away from me” he kisses the top of my head.
I’m all mushy and mellow as we walk back to the house. I think we needed that moment alone.
“I’m going to check on Jabu” I say as we walk inside the house,
“I hope you’re not stalling me”
“Haibo Zenzele!” this man is going to be the death of me,
“I’ll be waiting for you” he winks,
I roll my eyes as he walks towards our bedroom. You’d swear I still denied him the way he reminds me every chance he gets.
“Knock, knock Jabu?” I knock already opening the door, a bad habit,
He is got a huge plasma tv in his room and he is playing video games with headsets on,
“Jabu!” I have to remove his headsets for him to hear me,
“Mah jeez! You scared me” he jumps “What’s wrong? Are we going somewhere?” It’s after 10pm, where can I go with a 13 year old at this time of the night?
“No I’m checking on you. Are you okay?” I ask,
“I’m fine but I’m going to lose this game if you don’t let me be”
“Aren’t you supposed to be in bed?”
“I’m on vacation please mah, not today or tomorrow. On Monday you can tell me to go to bed early I will, but not today, I’m begging you”
“Fine! Have fun then” I let him be,
“Thank you, byeiiii!” I guess I have been chased out.
I’m sure I’m going to find Zenzele on the bed naked and stroking himself. That one is not going to let me breath tonight.
Surprisingly I find him on call.
‘Did you take your medication?’ he asks. He knows I’m in the room, he glances in my direction and listens to whoever he is talking to,
‘I don’t understand why you have to be sick today of all days, Precious’ he say. Precious? I stop halfway to the closet. I was going to put on my sexy lingerie I bought specially for him but it can wait.
‘I honestly can’t do anything. I told you I won’t be around!’ he is getting frustrated,
I tap his shoulder, when he looks up I whisper ‘loud speaker!’ I want to hear what the Precious that is not so precious is saying,
He gives me the phone to put on speaker ‘…….the baby is sick Zen, what do you want me to do? I didn’t know our baby would be sick today’ I stare at the phone in utter disbelief! I understand why he is frustrated. This baby is still inside mommy’s tummy but it’s already getting sick at odd hours of the night.
‘Have you called the ambulance, Precious?’ I ask,
There is silence, maybe she is cursing in sign language,
‘I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO ZENZELE!’ she barks,
‘He is listening. I asked a question, have you called an ambulance since you’re not feeling well?’ this one is bringing baby mama drama on the table, I feel it.
‘I CALLED THE FATHER OF MY CHILD!’ she barks again,
‘Tone it down sesi when you speak to me because I can bark as you do. Zenzele is not around and he told you he won’t be around. Calling an ambulance is the only option you have’
‘WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME TO CALL AN AMBULANCE?!’ this time she screams,
‘I’m your worst nightmare. Safe trip to the hospital!’ I’m about to drop the call when she say….
‘Please, I’m really sick’ this time she begs,
I take in a deep breathe ‘Precious call an ambulance if you’re not feeling well’ I feel like we are going to repeat the same thing all night,
‘I can’t see’ she cries,
I look at the phone like I can see her,
‘Excuse you?’ maybe I didn’t hear her well,
‘I’m blind, I can’t see’ she say. Amen! I drop the call because wow! Miracle baby just made mommy go blind too. Like mother, like baby, like father! She suddenly can’t see when she has to dial an ambulance but she could see perfectly fine when dialling Zenzele.
“Is she okay in the head?” I sit beside him on the bed,
He sighs “I think this pregnancy is messing with her because she was never like this”
“Have you confirmed this pregnancy to begin with?” I ask,
He nods “Yes, I took her to a doctor last week and he confirmed she is pregnant and we did the DNA tests. Now I’m waiting for the results to figure out my next steps” he say,
“And you didn’t think to tell me all this?” this is new to me,
“We talked about it kaMabaso and you said I should do DNAs and I did” he shrugs,
“But you didn’t tell me when you were actually going to do them” the last time we talked about Precious he was telling me about the pregnancy and we talked about it, since then he hasn’t said anything,
“You didn’t ask so I thought you don’t want to be involved”
“Did I say I don’t want to be involved? If I remember correctly I said you need to take DNA tests first before ‘WE’ key word ‘WE’ commit ourselves to something that might not be real. So where in that did you get the idea that I don’t want no part in this fake baby process?”
Silence! Complete silence! Men are annoying honestly!
“AND IF THIS CHILD IS YOURS, PRECIOUS IS GOING TO DISRESPECT ME BECAUSE YOU’RE ALREADY DOING THINGS BEHIND MY BACK! SHE IS NOT GOING TO SEE ME!” this man just ruined my mood!
“I’m sorry” he mutters,
Look at the humble Zenzele is back! “SORRY? YOU’RE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE WENA!” nxa! That’s it, he is ruined my mood. I storm off to closet, I wish I had brought my long pyjamas so he gets it that he is not getting any tonight!
“Mami I’m really sorry. Can we talk about this?”
“Talk about what Zenzele?” I stop halfway to the closet,
“You already excluded me and talked to your baby mama about everything without me. What’s there to talk about now?” I know fokol about this new development that’s what pissing me off,
“What were you going to say when the results come back? Sathane Mabaso the results are back and the baby is mine! Just like that!” this man doesn’t want to take me there……I hate being kept in the dark!
“Sthandwa sami you’re not sathane Mabaso your kaMabaso”
“NXA!” I leave the room before I tell him kaMabaso seegat!
A few minutes later I’m half way undoing my dress when I feel him behind me. He stands too close, leaving no room but for my back to collide into his chest.
“I’m sorry” he breathes on the nape of my neck. His warm breath eases the anger in me,
“Please look at me” he forces me to turn and look in his eyes,
“I am sorry. From the bottom of my heart I am so sorry and I’ll never exclude you like that again. I don’t repeat mistakes because I mean it when I say I am sorry and I won’t do it again. Do you think you can forgive me?” he means it, every word that comes out of his mouth I believe.
Of course I can forgive him. I nod, like he can see me,
“Is that a yes or no?” sometimes I forget he sees in dark…
“It’s a yes. I forgive you and don’t ever do that again”
“Never again” he grins,
“Let me help you with this” he takes over unzipping my dress. He knows I’m wearing a dress with a zipper because his hand was sitting on my back so possessively all night long during dinner,
“I hate it when I make you angry” he undo my zip, slowly until it reaches the end. My strapless dress falls easily down to my waist, leaving me bare on the top,
“How I wish to see this body” he cups my breast, trails kisses from my neck, up my chin until he finds my lips…. I almost taste the lust in his kiss, it’s ravenous though still guarded.
Slowly, without breaking the kiss I’m backed to the bedroom. My hands find the buttons of his t-shirt, one by one I undo each of them and slip the damn thing off his arms. He is so lean I wrap my arms around his waist. He takes care of the rest of my dress, peel it down but I trip on my own dress, luckily I fall on the bed and he is right on top of me,
“So clumsy” he laughs,
He stands up straight at the edge of the bed, pulls the rest of my dress off and I’m left with panties. You’d swear he can see the way he takes time just admiring me.
“Your making me shy” I blush. I’m not used to be stared like something so delicate before sex,
“I’m admiring you” he drops on a knee on the bed, between my legs, I have to open up to make room for his knee,
“How are you admiring me when you can’t see me?”
“My own way” he pecks my forehead, he stays there for a moment if not longer before he moves to my mouth, it’s yet another peck. My throat receives a peck too, my shoulder blades, my boobs and then my stomach, when he showers my navel with kisses I gasp. I don’t expect him to suck on my navel like that. I didn’t know until today that a navel has such nerve endings. My bean throbs with just his kisses on my navel.
I brush his head, urging him to kiss me like that, right there, it’s sending the most exquisite sensation between my legs.
“Your too responsive” I don’t know what the hell that means but why is he stopping,
“Don’t stop please” I beg,
He grins. He doesn’t lift his head but I feel his grin through the warmth of his breath that brushes on my skin.
My mound receives a peck, still very much covered with my panties. He doesn’t remove them, and when I think he is going to peel off my panties he doesn’t, he grabs me with my waist and pull me towards the edge of the bed.
He is on his knees down the bed, he doesn’t give me the heads up, he sways my panties to the side and introduce his mouth right there,
“ZEN!” I gasp, curling my toes as desire hits me like never before,
He laps on my bean like a dog, taps it until I can’t take it anymore before he slide his tongue right there, inside the delicious pot of life. His thumb takes over my bean, he rubs it in circles matching the rhythm of his tongue inside my pot. He is worshiping my body, making love to me with his mouth and I press on his head hard when I feel it coming. I feel it from my toes, lord I’m going to explode in his mouth,
“Zen….” I can’t hold it,
“Baby I’m…I’m…ohhh!” he sucks hard on my bean as I explode on his face. I tremble, producing juices of desire all over his face but he doesn’t stop, he sucks me good until I take one last deep breath after the explosion,
The smirk on his face as he stands! Men will be the death of us I tell you,
“That starter was top notch!” he licks the corners of his mouth,
This one is the type that makes you shy during sex. I watch him undo his fly and drop his pants, his boxers follow. And I love what I see. I ache again upon see it, it curves towards his waist, looking dangerous but delicious at the same time. I want to have him in my mouth but it doesn’t look like he is up for that today. He goes to the drawer on his bedside table and comes back with a sealed box of condoms. He tears the box up and grabs one. He rip it with his teeth, takes it out but I can’t help myself,
“Do you need help?” I know he doesn’t but the feeling of a man’s di8ck in hand is something else to me,
“Of course, my hands are sore”
I roll my eyes, everything with him will forever be sore. I sit up straight, right between his legs and take over his hand. Before I slide the condom up his length I tease his head with my tongue, I give him a shallow lick and circle it a bit,
“Please don’t, I just want to be inside you now” he grunt,
I listen, like a good little girl I do as told, I slide the condom up with both my hands wrapping around his length,
“I can’t play sthandwa sami I just want to be inside!” he leans down, grab me by my waist and drags me to the pillows, “You have no idea how long I have been thinking about this” he hovers over me, takes my mouth in his as he balances his weight on his one arm, the other hand goes down, way way down. For a man who can’t see he really knows his way into puss8y. He positions himself, slowly, gentle and savouring the moment he works his way inside me,
“Hoo ZEN!!” I grab on the sheets, something tears down there and I know it’s the material of my panties. He did say he was going to tear them apart.
He enters me with outmost ease and gentleness, causing my body to tremble as another shocking orgasm attacks me.
“Haaaaa!” I scream it away. This is a first, I have never came while being penetrated. He buries himself deep inside me as I cry my pleasure out,
“I told you your too…..responsive” he moans, he can barely speak now that he is inside,
He doesn’t move, he breaths on top of me, letting me welcome the intrusion and come back to be with him. Our eyes lock, I know he can’t see me but I feel so seen in his eyes.
“Your mine” he say,
“I’m yours” I assure him,
“This is mine, don’t ever let any dog in here, do you hear me?”
“It’s yours alone” I assure him again,
“Hm” he moans, and starts to move. In and out he slides inside my pot, I meet him thrust for thrust, and together we create a rhythm that works for the both of us,
“Oh mama!” he groans. I feel what he is feeling, this is indescribable. I thought I had the best sex before but this right here is ecstasy. Every thrust is desire on its own, every stroke touches that sensitive nub inside me, driving the both of us crazy. That’s when he starts to fu8ck me, really fu8ck me. He is now on his knees, my waist is in his hands as he pulls me thrust for thrust to meet him halfway,
“ZEEEEN haaaa heeee hiiiiiii hoooo huuuuuu!” I see stars as I scream, the best orgasm of my life hits me, it tears through my soul, making me vibrate like an old Nokia 5110. And he is right there with me…..
“Maamaa the condooommm…..” I don’t know what the condom is doing to him but he holds me still to his waist as he finds his release. I feel his warm thick milk shoots deep inside me, the feeling is heavenly. He lets go of my waist and fall on top of me.
“You are…….we….” he is still catching his breath but I think he is trying to say something,
“What?” I grin, cupping his face so I look at him,
His eyes are shut, he is still in his world,
“The condom broke” he finally say,
“WHAT?!” I shout
“What do you think was going to happen when you were screaming in vowels?” he grins,
I narrow my eyes at him
“It’s not my fault your stove is on 24, come on I’m not done with you” he flips me like a pancake, I don’t know how I get on my knees so fast,
“Zenzele put on another condom please!” it’s his delicious di8ck that’s breaking condoms. I don’t think we are going to sleep tonight. My panties are left a belt around my waist, they went through quite a transformation, from panties to a belt is what they are.
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