You Thought Cilantro Was Just a Flavor? It’s Actually My FU, Cheater! by Mark Twain 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 1
“Wait-are you seriously divorcing me over cilantro in your tacos last week?!”
Edward stared at me, and let out a weary laugh.
I zipped up my suitcase without even looking at him.
“Yep. That’s why.”
He tossed his coat on the hook and ran his hand through his hair.
“Babe, come on. I was slammed at work. I just spaced-it was an accident.”
Then he moved closer, arms out like he was going in for a hug.
“Let me make it right. Flowers? That bag you’ve been wanting? Or that necklace you showed me?”
Seven years married, and he’d always been good at throwing money at problems.
He was so sure I’d never actually walk out.
*
I took a step back and met his eyes, dead calm.
“We’re done. Papers are on the table. Sign them.”
If after seven years the guy still can’t remember I’m allergic to cilantro, I’m NOT sticking around.
Edward’s face shifted into that look-the patient, indulgent one I’d seen a thousand times.
He moved closer.
“Babe, I was slammed at work. Totally slipped my mind. Won’t happen again.”
His voice had that same warmth it always did, the kind that made me fall for him in the first place.
Seven years married.
We’d built everything together-his company, this house, the whole life. I’d really believed it would last.
Except his warmth wasn’t just mine anymore.
I tightened my grip on the suitcase and stepped around him.
“We’re done, Papers are on the counter.”
“Whitney!”
He grabbed my wrist.
“Come on. I messed up-let me fix it. Flowers? That necklace you wanted?”
He sounded sorry, but there was something underneath-that easy confidence, like he knew I’d cave.
09:57
You Thought Cilantro Was Just a Flavor? It’s Actually My FU, Cheater!
0.0%
Chapter 1
He pulled me closer. “Babe, you’re really acting like a kid right now.”
I yanked my arm free so violently he stumbled back a step.
For a second, we just looked at each other.
He genuinely thought I was just being dramatic.
I met his eyes. “I don’t like roses. I never have. I like lisianthus.”
His expression faltered. He went stiff. “Whitney, listen-”
A beep from the front door interrupted him.
Ruby walked in. Edward’s assistant.
She looked startled for half a second, then her gaze landed on my suitcase.
Something cold flickered across her face.
“Oh-Mrs. Smith, you going somewhere?”
Her tone was light, almost cheerful.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of Mr. Smith while you’re gone.”
I laughed under my breath and glanced at him.
“There she is. The one who likes roses. And cilantro.”
With that, I yanked my arm free and headed for the door.
Ruby didn’t move. She stood there in the doorway, blocking my way out. Half her face was in shadow.
Her voice went soft, dripping with false sympathy.
“Mrs. Smith, Boss mentioned the cilantro incident that morning before his Paris trip. Is that really what’s bothering you?”
She blinked, playing innocent.
“Boss and I grab lunch together pretty often, and I always get extra cilantro-he probably just got confused. It’s really such a tiny thing. If it’s actually affecting your marriage, I can apologize.
But walking out like this? Oh, Mr. Smith’s been working himself to exhaustion, and honestly, dramatics like this just make things harder on
him-”
SLAP!
My hand cut her off mid-sentence.
Edward lunged forward.
“Whitney! What the hell? This is between us-”
SLAP!
00.57
You Thought Cilantro Was Just a Flavor? It’s Actually My FU. Cheatert
0.29%
Chapter 1
I laughed coldly and slapped him too.
He froze.
I’d put everything I had into those slaps.
Their faces were already bright red, handprints rising on their skin.
I met Edward’s stunned gaze head-on.
“This house is ours-marital property. Who the hell said you could give some random woman access to our front door?”
He stammered. “Ruby’s always dropping off files-I just thought it’d be easier if-”
“Ruby,” I cut him off with a laugh.
“How sweet. That’s what you call your assistant?”
I shook
my
head.
“You’ve been running a company for years, Edward. Don’t stand there and tell me you didn’t hear every word she just said to me. You two want to play house at the office? Fine.
But you bring that into MY HOME? You know DAMN WELL I DON’T put up with this!”
I turned on Ruby, who was still clutching her cheek.
“You’ve been his assistant for six months and you’re already acting like you live here?
Honey, having his door code doesn’t make you his wife.
It makes you THE HELP with delusions.”
“And those little posts you’ve been making-set to private so only I can see them, right?
Can’t figure out your own work, but instead of asking literally ANYONE else, you run crying to a MARRIED man?
Show up every day with your homemade lunches like you’re auditioning to be his wife?
Screw up a project and make him pull all-nighters fixing YOUR mistakes?
Is that in your job description-playing housewife and posting ‘Mr. Smith is amazing like some lovesick teenager?
I shook my head and let out a helpless laugh.
“So what exactly were you bragging about? That my husband forgot I’m allergic to cilantro because he’s thinking about you? Or that all your desperate flirting is finally paying off?”
“Whitney!”
Edward’s voice came out harsh and raw
“What is wrong with you?! You’re twisting everything! She’s new-I’m SUPPOSED to mentor her. That’s exactly what I did when YOU started out?”
Ruby’s eyes welled up, those perfectly curled lashes fluttering.
09:57
You Thought Cilant
um a Flavorê l’ Actually Me FU. Cheate
Chapter 1
Her soft little sobs filled the quiet house.
I was done.
What was the point?
You can’t reason with people who refuse to see what’s right in front of them.
I looked Edward dead in the eye.
“So that’s how you ‘mentor all the new hires? Mentor them so well you forget your wife of seven years is severely allergic to cilantro? That she’s never once liked roses?”
Edward went still.
I gave him one last cold smile, shoved past Ruby, and walked out.
♡ (0)
900
(0)
You Thought Cilantro Was Just a Flavor? It’s Actually My FU, Cheater!
0.6%
Join Our WhatsApp Channel For Fast Update Or More Novels: 
Join Our WhatsApp Channel For Fast Update Or More Novels: