LUXOLO

“Good morning bubbles,” Tsakani greets hugging me from behind, and kisses my cheek.

“Good morning at 12:25 pm, really?” I ask removing the pan from the stove.

Him: “Well, it’s only because I didn’t see you in the morning. You were sleeping as if like you are dead,” I snort.

Me: “You & Lies. I heard you getting off the bed, when you took a shower, kissed my forehead, and exited the bedroom,” shrugging.

Him: “You criminal. Why didn’t you wake up then?”

Me: “For what? I wasn’t going anywhere. Wena bowuyephi vele?”

Him: “I had to go and see the gents, we need to get back in the game now seeing that everything is 75% normal.”

Me: “And are they game?”

Him: “Yeah, well, except for Talon. With the new Khalasi present, he needs to focus on him, and help Thembeka where he possibly can. He needs to be a present father in Khalisi’s life. Surely, he will join us once Khalasi is 6 months old.”

Me: “Oh, I see. So, he & Thembeka are official now?”

Him: “I don’t know, but after the talk, we had with him last night, he doesn’t see himself dating her full time, but he doesn’t mind co-parenting,” I nod.

Me: “Good decision. I couldn’t imagine him making things official with that wrinkled granny.”

Him: “Your hate her for is so real, I wonder what did she ever do to you to hate her this much. You don’t even know her to that extent, never chilled together, but yoh, hhayi shame umzonda manyani.”

Me: “It’s a good thing that everyone knows that I hate her, and I never pretend to like her, just like your mother who doesn’t like my mother and always rubs it in her face.”

Him: “Women & drama. All of you are just complicated, I doubt you even understand yourselves,” I chuckle.

Me: “Whatever. Has anyone in the Elite seen the baby yet, or they are waiting for 10 days before they see him?”

Him: “No. They haven’t yet, and besides, she’s still at the hospital,” I nod.

Me: “Oh, okay. Did she get the baby natural or? I mean, I’ve heard rumors that is very for women her age to give birth naturally, moreover fall pregnant.”

Him: “She got her via c-section, she couldn’t push so, Dr. Mashifane transferred her to his hospital for emergency c-section.” Dammit, now how is Luxolo and her gang going to find Thembeka? I mean, there are too many Dr.Mashifane’s out there who have their own practices. And now if I ask him which Dr.Mashifane it will raise suspicion, and I don’t want him questioning me. I’ll just have to tell them to abort the mission and find this Dr.Mashifane and where is his practice situated first, then once they find it, they will have to carry on with the mission. For now, they must just rest.

Me: “Oh, thought that she gave birth at the Elite but it’s okay.”

Him: “And when are we making our mini us?” I laugh.

Me: “When the time is right. For now, we need to build a legacy for our kids, and just so you know I want 7 kids,” he snarls. “I’m being for real wena.”

Him: “You want to be like Thembeka now?”

Me: “What? No. Phela with me it’s going to be different because they are all going to have the same father,” he chuckles.

Him: “What if we break up?”

Me: “I will still ask you to father my babies, and you’d never say no even if you get married, I’d still ask you to father my kids.”

Him: “Nxa, as if we will ever break up. Wena ungowami until we leave this earth, we are going to die together even wena bubbles,” I laugh.

Me: “Insanity runs in the family,” he narrows his brows, and looks at me.

Him: “Sewuyanya manje, ngizokushaya,” I laugh.

Me: “Makunyiwe one time,” we both laugh. I finish dishing up for us. I still need to go and meet up with the girls, but here I am already eating. Argh, I’ll just have water.

Him: “Still meeting up with the girls?”

Me: “Yeah, I am and I’m meeting them in 30 minutes.”

Him: “Should I accompany you?”

Me: “No. Why would you want to accompany me though my love?”

Him: “For fun,” I laugh.

Me: “How cute, but no.”

Him: “So, I’m going to be bored?” He makes a sad face looking all kinds of cute.

Me: “You’ve been leaving me too a lot lately my love, but you never hear me complain. Now it’s my time to leave. In fact, why not call the guys over?”

Him: “But I was with them not so long ago.”

Me: “Your brothers then. Or I can always ask Luxolo to ask Ali to come over.”

Him: “There’s no need to invite Ali over, that man is a man of fewer words and he never laughs,” I laugh. “My brothers will do. Yoh, I can’t wait to see their expressions when they come here, trust you me when I say one of them will die.”

Me: “I bet its Sabelo, that brother of yours is weak my love, I wonder who does he take after.”

Him: “I wonder too, ngihlala ngizubuza. Her wife is the strongest between the two of them, if it wasn’t for her I don’t know what could’ve become of Sabelo. Hhayi ngeke, I think he’s lowkey gay,” we both laugh.

Me: “Not gay. Maybe after nine.”

Him: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The difference is that after nines are straight in the afternoon, but after nine. Rha! Njenge chameleon ba changer amabalabala, hmm…”

Him: “Why do they do other men after nine though?”

Me: “Obvious. They don’t want to be judged.”

Him: “Too much work.”

Me: “I know right. Anyway, let me get going before the girls dial me. Want to drive me?”

Him: “Yeah, let me finish up here then we leave.”

Me: “I’ll go and change so long,” he nods, I turn on my heels and leave.

An hour later I’m with the girls at Mica’s tshisanyama. It’s situated e kasi, and the way people are staring at our table when they pass by it’s like they’re seeing celebrities, or famous models featured in magazine covers. But ke, bamangazwa o Maxine & Milan who are drinking Windhoek draft, sies.

“Why don’t they just come and ask for our autographs once and for all rather than staring at us making us uncomfortable?” Maxine asks looking around.

“That’s because we are celebrities, and they are shaken by our presence. They feel intimidated hence they admire from a distance, just leave them, and focus on us.” Milan tells her.

Her: “I’m trying, but I’m failing. The thing is the other gender is creepily looking at us.”

Lee: “Are you worried? We can always kick ass, I dare them to try us. I dare them!” She’s shouting, eyyy lo sisi we mask uyaphapha yazi.

Me: “There will be no need for that.”

Milan: “Exactly.”

Me: “So, Milan, how are things between you and Leon? What I actually mean is; what’s going on between the two of you?”

Her: “Nothing is going on between us, even if there was we wouldn’t work because he’s forever shagging some random whore in some brothel or hotel.”

Maxine: “And you’re fine with all of that?”

Her: “Of course, I am. It’s not as if we are dating or something. He’s free to do whatever he wants.”

Me: “And wena? Do you see yourself hooking up with random niggas in bnbs and hotels?” She giggles.

Her: “Of course. I already have an appointment with some hook up I met from tinder, we are meeting up at 20:00 pm.”

Lee: “You go, girl! But wait, don’t you want to be in a relationship like any other woman out there?”

Her: “It wouldn’t work. I’m that person who loves for real when they’re dating, I give my all and what I receive in return it’s shit on top of shit. I’m so over relationships, and I’ve long accepted that I’m no relationship material,” she shrugs.

Maxine: “But not every guy is bad out there, Milan,” her cheeks flush pink when she says this. “You need to give love a chance.”

Lee: “You’ve been dating Batista for a couple of months, and you are a relationship expert all of a sudden?” She giggles.

Her: “Of course. Unlike you, I wouldn’t mind Batista having his way with me anyway he wants, I’ll never complain. In fact, I’ll lock him up in a cage and do as I please with him,” I laugh.

Me: “Hmmm, I’d like to believe that you finally tasted the stick of sin

” she looks down blushing. “Yasis, finally. How did it happen?” 

Her: “Let’s just say, he came home drunk and looked at me in a way I’ve never seen, then we kissed and one thing led to another. It was intense, I enjoyed every moment of it, I was in another dimension. Wuuhh, I felt so foreign I even cried afterward,” we all laugh.

Lindiwe: “Wait until he wants it 24/7 without any rest.”

Her: “I’d still give to him, even if it’s 365 days I wouldn’t mind.”

Milan: “You are dick whipped girl, and you ain’t even hiding it.”

Her: “Why should I?”

Me: “Girl, I’m happy for you.”

Lindiwe: “Me too, I hope Batista won’t want it from you the way Lee wants it with me, he’s making me hate sex. I’m no longer enjoying it.”

Me: “Then why don’t you sit him down and talk to him?”

Her: “I can’t. What if he ends things with me?”

Me: “Then it was not meant to be. Try sitting him down, and tell him how you feel about the sex, I’m sure he will understand and try limiting it, you’ll never know.”

Milan: “I wouldn’t mind having a fuck buddy like that who’ll want sex anytime he wants. Haike, but that’s impossible when you stay in another person’s place, I can’t do as I please.”

Me: “Then move out.”

Her: “I’m not ready to cough out rent money yet, I really am not. Plus at Leon’s I get free food, and beer,” we all laugh.

Me: “For how long are you going to stay with Leon?”

Her: “Till Jesus comes back.”

Maxine: “And what will happen if he wants sex?”

Her: “I will give it to him.”

Lee: “No, uyisferbe for real wena. Does your vagina still grip?” She laughs.

Her: “Of course. Don’t you ladies know that having a lot of sex actually makes the pussy tighter?”

Me: “But not with different dicks.”

Her: “They all don’t matter honestly, a dick is a dick.”

Maxine: “You need help, yuhh. That’s just not normal.”

Her: “I guess I do need help, just not yet, I’m still enjoying the different kind of dicks.”

Lee: “You are a certified whore. You just need your porn channel, and you are good to go.” She snarls.

Her: “Now that’s something. Imagine the money that will be rolling in? Yasis, I’ll be rich, but I still respect myself enough not to show the whole world my nakedness.”

Me: “Extreme activities,” we all laugh.

★»★«

TSAKANI

They just can’t stop complimenting the house, they got here 3 hours ago but they are still marveling at the beauty of this house, and raving about it none stop. Hlulani loves the soccer room just like me. I did tell them about how impressive & beautiful this house is, but they said I was lying. Bo Thomas. Now, they wish that they stayed here.

“I still can’t believe that a whole of you owns this place? Your sister-in-law must be rich,” Hlulani says filling up the braai stand with charcoal, yeah, we are having a mini braai as brothers.

“He needs to hook me up with her. I know that she’s married, but I wouldn’t mind hitting it.” Dakalo says winking. Hlulani chuckles.

Him: “If you have a death wish then go ahead, and pursue here. We wouldn’t mind burying you, and your mother will be very happy about it.”

Dakalo: “Of course. She will be happy that I died without knowing who my real father is,” he shakes his head.

Me: “What? Man, we all share the same father. Ukhuluma ngani?”

Him: “You don’t know?” He chuckles shaking his head.

Me: “Know what?” I look at them, and I catch Hlulani shaking his head. “Talk gents, what’s going on?”

Sabelo: “Well, it turns out that we all have different fathers.”

Me: “What?” Snarls. “What kind of a sick joke is this? In fact, where did you get that nonsense from?”

Hlulani: “Mmangwane spilled the beans when they were exchanging words back in Samoa.”

Me: “Say what? Did you confront her about it?”

Sabelo: “We did, and she didn’t give us the answers we needed. She kept on saying that we must ask Mmangwane since she’s the one who spewed the secret.”

Me: “And you asked her?”

Dakalo: “No. They didn’t. Mmangwane doesn’t know who our fathers are.”

Me: “Ler’s go, and confront her then, if that’s the case!”

Hlulani: “It won’t work. We decided to take things into our hands, and hired some PIs, and searching in all engines. I have hope that we will find something one of these good days,” I nod. So, Bulelwa has been lying to us almost all our lives claiming that we all share the same father, and he disappeared after the birth of Kedibone, and left my mother to grow the kids alone with no source of income. And now this?

Why would Bulelwa lie like this mara? I hope The PIs come back sooner with the information. I hope that not all of us have different fathers because if that’s the case then I will be very disappointed in her, she would’ve failed as a mother. Life, life is unpredictable, ey. I pray that Kedibone never turns out like her, naye loyo ukuphi vele?

Sabelo: “Do you think our fathers know about our existence man?”

Me: “I don’t know man.”

Dakalo: “If they did, they would’ve tried looking for us.”

Hlulani: “Or maybe they do know about our existence, and they just don’t care about it. Put that too into consideration,” he shrugs. “Only Babalwa knows the truth.”

Me: “Indeed.” When are we going to have peace mara? It’s drama after drama, ai.

★»★«

CINDY

Staring at this wall won’t help me with anything. What I need to do is to get up from this bed and fight for my marriage, Vuyo can’t divorce me. We’ve been through a lot together, and 10 years is a lot of time to be wasted. My life revolved around him, and he made vows to stick with me through thick & thin, blah & blah, and boy he will live up to those vows he made in front of the pastor, families, and church members. Let me call my mother she will know what to do, I mean she’s been married to my father for over 30 years now I’m she’ll tell me what to do. Hope she will help me with this, I can’t lose Vuyo, not some cheap whore anyway. A bitch is involved, and I will find out who is it and deal with her the best way I know-how.

“Cindy,” my mom answers on the other end. She sounds down I wonder what’s wrong with her.

“Mama, are you okay?” The concern in my voice is not to be missed.

Her: “I’m fine Cindy, just coming down with flu.”

Me: “Have you gone to a Dr.?”

Her: “Yes, I have and he gave me lots of medication. How are you?”

Me: “Not good mama,” sighs. “Vuyo. Vuyo wants to divorce me.”

Her: “What? Why would he want to divorce you? Cindy, what did you to him?” Hehake, this woman. Why would she think that I did something to him? She’s unbelievable!

Me: “What is it that you are asking me Mama? I didn’t do anything to him, he disappeared for months and only came back yesterday telling me that he wants a divorce,” she sighs.

Her: “Then grant him the divorce, Cindy. He’s not worth it.”

Me: “Hhey, hhey! Not worth it to whom mama? He’s my husband to me, and he’s worth it. Wena why you didn’t divorce my father the minute he wanted one?” She’s passing me off right now.

Her: “And I regret not giving him one when he wanted one. I’m suffering the consequences of that decision of forcing him to stay now, I regret it.”

Me: “Whoa, wait. What’s going on mama?”

Her: “Nothing to worry yourself about. Just grant him the divorce he wants, don’t force things. If he doesn’t love you anymore, then cry about it all you want, and fix yourself afterward you deserve better,” I shake my head.

Me: “No. I don’t deserve better, I deserve him. Kanty what’s with you? Why do you regret not divorcing my father? Actually, you know what? I don’t want to know, wena just give me Mama Nandi’s numbers and I will do the rest.” Mama Nandi is a very powerful well-known witch in our area, she loyas everyone and she’s proud of it. Everyone is very afraid of her. That’s why when some of us visit home we park our cars at the garage or rank and take taxis because yhey, that woman is very dangerous.

Her: “I will not give you her numbers. It’s not worth it, Cindy. Trust me. You don’t want to regret it, you know where she stays you can go there yourself, and while at it, tell her to give you something to prevent you from choking because your dad’s past has come back to haunt him, and so is your husband. Goodbye.”

Me: “Wha…,” the call gets cut off. What the actual fuck? I try calling her again, but she’s not picking up. What on earth is she on about? Hhe, if she can’t tell me what’s going on over the phone then I will go straight to her house, and she will tell me what’s exactly going on because she was talking in riddles.

I slide my feet into my slippers, then pick up my car keys from the dressing table, and step out of the bedroom heading outside. I know it’s late, but this needs to be done, I need answers. At least there isn’t much traffic around this time, the streets are clean so it will only take me an hour 30 minutes to get home. I lock the door, and head to the garage. Vuyo is mine, and mine alone.

Unedited. Apologies for any errors…