NOMALANGA

I can feel their stare it’s not giving me any peace, I’m not comfortable with them even though it’s 3 of us, but they want answers, answers that I shall give them. I didn’t expect my welcome to be like this, it was just unexpected and trust me when I say I thought my eldest daughter is a “ghost”, I thought I was seeing a ghost, but no I was seeing my own daughter. The very same daughter I gave birth too, and abandoned in a strangers house telling her that I’m going to work I’ll be back for her, and that was the last time she saw me let alone hear my voice. Now here she is in front of me looking at me with eyes full of questions, yes, I was doing my follow-ups on her until I learned that she passed away, and that’s when I stopped following her. I saw no need to follow her anymore, and that was years ago. Seeing her now is shocking, and she has grown so much, and she looks exactly like Nono just that she’s too yellow.

“We are waiting Mama. Give Luxolo all the answers she needs,” Nono says her voice firm, and she has truly changed. She’s no longer the old Nono I know she’s someone else, someone I don’t even recognize. My sweet Nono is gone, but something else took over, and I’m not happy, not even one bit. I don’t dare lift my head because I don’t want to see their stares, and I’m definitely not ready to talk to them about this. “Mama, why did you dump Luxolo in your friends house?”

“I’d also like to know. But I do know that she never really loved me as her daughter, I mean, what kind of a mother are you that dumps her only daughter at a friend’s house without giving her any reason why? You know if you really loved me as a child you would’ve taken me to one of your sisters or aunts rather than send me to your friend’s house. Do you know all the shit I went through in the hands of that friend of yours together with her family? Do you? Nah, I don’t think you do because you never cared about me, not even a little bit. And I also don’t care about you, but I want to know why did you dump me at your friends, you owe me that much.” She’s already in her feet, hands on her waist.

Nono: “Oh, yes. Please tell her the reason you dumped her Nomalanga, and once done kindly please tell me why did you name me after her, we just want the truth nothing more.” I shake my head. Not so long ago I was judging Babalwa for keeping secrets to her sons forgetting that I have my own secrets too, secrets of which I never thought would come out, but look at me now, hahaha. Guess I’m the joke because the secret is out, bleh.

Luxolo: “Talk woman! I don’t have the whole day. I have a family waiting for me back home, spit!” She hits the table making me jump, and my lips start quivering. Jesus, this child.

Nono: “Mama, please.” Tears are already veiling my eyes, great.

Luxolo: “Nomalanga stop wasting our time talk! Bear in mind that I don’t want a relationship with you, I just want the truth then I’ll be out of your fucking life.”

Me: “Ca- can I at least get a glass of water?” My voice is low barely audible, but what can I say because I’m shit scared.

Her: “Speak up. We aren’t hearing you.” I nod.

Me: “Can I have a glass of water.” My voice is a bit higher now.

Her: “Tammy, get your momma some water so that we get this over & done with.” Nono gets up from the chair and drags her feet to get a glass.

Nono: “Plain or with ice?”

Me: “Plain will do.”

Her: “Have you taken your medication?” I shake my head. “Where is it?”

Me: “Inside my bag,” she nods and fills up the glass with water then come back, she places the glass before me.

Her: “Take your medication, I will prepare you something to eat so long. Diamond, you want some?”

Luxolo: “No, I’m fine I just want the truth from Nomalanga or should I call you Maybel?” I throw in my pills, and drink the water. “I’m not leaving here until you tell me truth Nomalanga.” She means it. I heave out a sigh, and clasp my hands together, here goes nothing. I think it would be best if I tell them this not looking at them.

Me: “Well-,” I look at Nono, and she’s not directing her attention to us, but to whatever meal she’s preparing. Luxolo raises her eyebrow waiting for me to talk, kunzima. “I- I had no choice but to…,” sighs. “Give you away.”

Her: “You had no choice but to do what? Who in their right state of mind give their kids away? So, whatever choice you chose was better than I? Is that what you are saying?!”

Me: “You don’t understand.”

Her: “Then make me understand what you mean! Help me, dammit woman!” She puts her hand over her head pushing her hair back as it was coming to the front of her face. I don’t know how she looks like when she’s angry, but looking at her right now she’s mad pissed off.

Me: “Situation forced me. It was either you or your father,” she laughs, she’s being sarcastic actually.

Her: “And you chose a dick over me. A dick that you would’ve gotten randomly, but no. Instead, you chose that very same dick that’s living happy with his family completely forgotten about you, and for what? Nothing. He left you either way, with nothing. And maybe that’s another reason why you didn’t bother looking for me because I was going to be a constant reminder that Gorge Mbethe left you with. I really don’t understand women who choose their man instead of their kids. What’s going on in those mind of yours vele? Or the dick is good in a way that makes you all lose your senses?” I shake my head. “Why are you shaking your head? Am I spewing nonsense? And I’d appreciate it if you answer me with words not nodding your head is irritating.”

Nono: “Here’s your food,” she places the food on top of the table then she sits down, and places her legs on top of the table crossing them. She pulls out her phone from the pocket, and start getting busy with it.

Me: “Th- thank you,” as if I will stomach anything right now.

Luxolo: And?”

Me: “He promised to marry me,” wiping my tears. “He said he will marry me only if I let you go. I loved him Xolo, I had no choice but to do away with you. You were standing in my way of happiness, I thought he loved me, I thought he will marry me as promised, but he lied, he gave false hope,” sniffing. “He lied to me for years. I’m sorry Xolo, please forgive me.” She laughs.

Her: “You must be high on something. Going further; why didn’t you come and get me after your never happened wedding? Why? You had a chance to come, and fetch me, but you didn’t. Why Nomalanga?”

Me: “I was ashamed, I was ashamed of being an embarrassment in the community, to my family. I was left with no choice, but to leave everything behind and start a new life. Please, try to understand.”

Her: “You are expecting me to understand the bullshit you are telling me now?” I nod. “You must be out of your damn mind, I’m not going to understand all this shit you said because it’s pathetic! You sacrificed with my life to your friend trying to save your face, you gave me away to those abusers on a silver platter. Hehe, you know what? I always thought that you were dead, kanty no man bengihlanya kahle kahle bengizihlanyisa. You were living your life without any care in the world, without even thinking about me. Worst of it all, you had Tammy here, and you gave her my name. My name. Why? Were you replacing me with her? You figured that since you dumped me, you will have to have a mini me right? You actually wanted to forget about my existence, but you couldn’t because you couldn’t live with the fact that you abandoned your first child. Tammy is basically living my life right?”

Lord. How do I answer all these questions? I mean, I’m in a pool of tears, but no she doesn’t care all she wants are answers, and half of the things she said are actually true. I look up wiping my endless stream of tears.

Her: “Your tears don’t move me. They don’t shake me, in fact, they are annoying me because they are fake tears. Let me guess; no, let me rather ask Tammy here. Tammy.” Anyway, where did Nono get this Tammy name and what does it mean? And I wonder what is she asking her. Nc nc nc.

Nono: “Sup?” She puts her phone on top of the table.

Her: “I’d like to take you back to your childhood.”

Nono: “My childhood?” She looks at her tilting her head.

Her: “Yeah. Like, how your favorite bedding looked, the color that dominated your clothes, your hair and all.”

Nono: “Oh, this ought to be interesting.”

Her: “It is because I want to show Nomalanga here that she replaced me with you. The color of your bedding was purple decorated with unicorns, and please correct me if I’m wrong,” Nono nods. “Your hair was always tied in two twisted ponytails using unicorn ribbons, and the color that dominated your clothes was maroon, you had like 3-4 bright clothes. And your dinner plate was decorated with flowers, hoho, and once me correct me if I’m wrong. Oh

I almost forgot. I’m sure your morning breakfast was Maltabella with a strawberry topping?” Nono chuckles shaking her head. 

Her: “You are very much correct now that you mention it, I was actually living your life, guess guilt made her do all those things hey. To tell you the truth I’m so disappointed in her, what she did was really heartless. Choosing a man over you was a real blow truth be told, but it’s all in the past now.”

Her: “It might be all in the past, but I’m not one to easily forgive. I don’t live up to my name, and by the look of things I will never forgive her. I was never taught forgiveness, and me not forgiving her won’t affect me anyway, and besides I’ve lived for years without her, and I will continue doing so. She was always dead to me, and she will remain dead. No relationship is going to be fixed between us.”

Her: “And it’s okay. No one will crucify you for that. Anyway, mama I also have questions of mine that I want to ask you, but I will ask you once you wake up because you are sleepy now. Go and take a nap. Will you be able to walk?” I nod getting up from my chair, and drag my feet to my room. I’m so shattered. That was intense, and I don’t blame her for not forgiving me, I deserve it, but hopefully one day she will find it in her heart to forgive me. Then Nono has questions of her own too, I wonder what questions are those.

I throw myself on top of the bed, a part of is relieved that at least she found closure, and still alive. Oh, Gorge. I hate you! You ruined me. You fucking ruined my life, but it’s too late to blame him now, I allowed him to ruin me. Sighs. I close my eyes as I feel sleep so close…

★»★«

LUXOLO

We are on our way to the house that Luxolo told me about, after confronting mother Luxolo suggested that we leave immediately she can’t spend another seconds there because she will vomit as she still smells my mother’s scent filling up the kitchen. She hates her, yoh. Anyway, I’ve realized that she loves bone thugs & harmony because even now she’s playing their album, and as for me, I don’t understand anything. I prefer music that make noise…

“Are you okay?” I ask her immediately as she parks the car in the driveway, if this is the house then I’m impressed. This is a mansion not just a house, the wall is covered with charcoal granite, and the garden here is beautiful. I wonder how inside looks like.

“I’m okay. I’m just glad that she told me why she abandoned me, even though her choices were stupid she at least told me the truth, I can finally move on and live my life, not that it was stuck anyway,” she shrugs. “Let’s go and see your new house I hope you will like the furniture, and you can add some too because it’s not much.” We step out of the car, and head inside the house. She unlocks her glass door, and push it open then she gets in first, and I follow after her. The kitchen is Breathtaking, and huge too. I wonder how her house looks like if this one is like this, hmmm. People are living out here, wuhhh hhayi. Sikhaphile.

Me: “You have a beautiful house.”

Her: “And I don’t like it. Ali was living here with his ex-wife, and when he married me I suggested that we move out of here, and buy our new house to create new memories and that was 8 years ago. That’s how long this house was vacant, but we do come and clean it every now & then. You like it?”

Me: “I love it!”

Her: “Welcome to your new house,” I giggle as she hands me the keys. We hug, and I look around taking it all in. Tsakani will love it here because there’s actually a soccer room with a mini bar fridge, like guys. He better not bring his friends here, maybe he’s brothers can come nakhona not always.

Me: “Thank you. Should it happen that we buy a house in the near future I’d like to buy this one if not the same as this one.”

Her: “You can have this one for free, you are my little sister after all, and I must look out for you. I got you young one,” I laugh.

Me: “Ain’t I just the luckiest girl alive right now? Thank you biggie,” we hug. “And when am I meeting your mini family?”

Her: “Once you are settled here,” I nod.

Me: “I’d really love to meet them,” I look at the time on my wrist watch, and it’s just after 20:00pm, and I’m hungry. “Let’s go. Tsakani & I will come here tomorrow.”

Her: “I’m glad that you like it.”

Me: “Will you ever forgive our mother?”

Her: “I don’t know hey, or maybe in the future or after life I will.”

Me: “I understand.” We walk out of the house, I lock the door, and we walk to the car laughing. First thing tomorrow morning I’m confronting my mother that sob story she once told me about my father was all lies. She lied, she will tell me exactly who my real father is maybe me & senior Luxolo share a father. Hhayi shame, Nomalanga. Nomalanga wehhhhh, a woman full of secrets. Hhey, shook!

★»★«

TSAKANI

The noise in the kitchen it’s so annoying, tonight it’s Milan’s turn to prepare supper for us and the girls are helping her, Lee will be the one doing dishes well, not entirely alone Lindiwe will help him. Batista & Lee are gone boys, and as for Leon he ain’t interested in relationships. He hardly talks to the girls around here no matter how much they try chatting him up, he gives one word answers. I get him though, these girls can be too much when they want to, at least we have Milan who put them in their place without thinking twice.

“Ek’se TK,” Talon greets settling next to me. He’s still not himself this thing is really stressing him out.

“Ek’se Talon. U grand mfethu?”

Him: “Dololo kuma line ntwana ngifathulile blind.” (Nothing is going well, I messed up)

Me: “Ngizindlebe boi, fidar?”

Him: “Ngididiyele ama salad ntwana. Shuthi manjer bekuyi zinto za once off nge skoen kanty kuzosala kuhlala I cream yami daar, indaba beseku 200° da so bengeke ngiphume kuvutha, haike leyo cream yakhona yamasimba ya tshuna into encane mfana.” (It happened that it was a once-off thing without a condom, I couldn’t pull out because it was hot, and now those sperms of mine created a baby) I laugh.

Me: “Nizofa ningakabanga ready Talon. Usase yi ntwana laaite. Kanty manjer inkinga vha? Enhlek ubani le thekeli?” (You will die unexpectedly. You are still a boy. Now what exactly is the problem? In fact, who’s that girl)

Him: “Hhayi ndoda azikhulunywa ezinjalo, and besekaba I chappies yakena. Indaba ang’mcanywa u girl, besi dakiwe, salalana k’phela bro.” (No man. We don’t talk about those, she was starting to become a bubblegum. The thing is; I don’t love the chick, we were drunk and had sex that’s it)

Me: “Ubani igama lale thekeli? Phela asifuni ugcoke I banana,” (Who’s the chick, we don’t want her trapping you with a baby) he looks around, and shakes his head.

Him: “Thembeka. I sisteri ka Lee.”

Me: “Ini? Hhayi ndoda. U gogo mus loya bowum’ngene ngani? Ek’se Talon, niyaganga bafethu.” (What? No man. That’s an old woman, what were you doing with her? Hhe, you guys are stout)

Him: “Phola njandini. Akekho gogo uwela la kubo 40s khona, khona daar yi milf yena shame. Mara yena ntwana uyayi reya I out. Ukhuluma amalimi daar, kuyanyiwa!” (Relax. She’s not that old, she’s in her mid-40s, somewhere there she is what we call a milf. But man, she knows how to ride, you end up speaking in tongues) I laugh.

Me: “Nizoguga nibancane Talon, qhubeka. Manjer uzom’bekela le story u Lee?” (You will age young, go on. Now are you going to tell Lee)

Him: “Ang’keni ndoda yakena. Indaba ngi dinka I film azong’yenzela yohh, hhayi. Ngihlukumezekile ngi grand now,” (I don’t know man. The thing is I’m thinking about the action he will give me. I’ve suffered enough, I’m okay now)

Me: “Mele um’bekele yi mpintshi yakho le, and besides I think sekaya kena already ned he’s waiting for you tell him. In fact, me & Batista knew that usibekile mara besime ngawe ukuthi usibeke)

Him: “Ek’se. For sho nibekelwe yile parrot, nxa yaphapha lendoda le yasis angazi bengim’bekelelani,” (I’m sure you were told by that parrot, she’s too forward I don’t know why I told her)

Me: “She did good. Bewusha ndoda, manje vaya uyobekela u Lee I story,” he nods. “Vaya nou. We need the old Talon back not this sponge cake you are right now,” he gets up clicking his tongue.

Him: “Uyanya swine. Tsek futhi,” he walks away leaving me laughing at him. At least things will get back to normal now, and Lee will be understanding. But for Talon to impregnate an old woman? Ayisembi ngoku, wuhhh hhayi. Life.