BONDED FOREVER.
BONUS chapter sponsored by Anonymous 
11. LIFETIME REMINDER.
BONUS chapter sponsored by Anonymous
ANDZISO
“Is she still in her room?” I ask Enelo when I get back from filling my car.
“You know she is, your little girl is dramatic and she’s waiting for you to go see her.”
“She’s waiting to make me feel guilty.” I say and we both chuckle.
“I hope you’re not rethinking or you’re going to spend the rest of your life single. Khanyisa will be just fine, I’ll find something to keep her busy with this weekend.”
“It’s easier said than done but you know what, you’re right and it’s not like I’m going away forever.”
“Yeah, go dad, give yourself that pep talk before you come face to face with those cute little eyes that will make you reconsider this entire trip.” Enelo playfully says. She knows that Khanyisa had me wrapped around her little finger and I may have contributed to this because I’ve always made it a point to be with her almost all the time. Maybe it was over compensation for her not having a mother present but I know I just wanted to have my little girl with me, it eased my heart and it still does but I’ve gone and made it hard for me to ever want to go anywhere.
“Let me go get my visa.” I joke, already making my way to Khanyisa.
I stop right before her door and think about what life may be like if Shamiso is cleared to meet her. I wonder how my little girl will adapt, I wonder how she will feel knowing there is someone who looks exactly like her. At first, it felt like Shamiso was tormenting me from wherever she was. She wasn’t present but she left me with a lifetime reminder of what she looks like. Then there came a time where I took comfort from the fact that at least I have a reminder of her, prove that she once existed and once was a part of my life. I push those thoughts back when I feel them getting to a place they shouldn’t and I stand at Khanyisa’s door.
“Knock, knock.” I use my words instead of just knocking on the door and I wait for her to acknowledge me even though the door is slightly open and I can clearly see her relaxing on her pink fur bean bag.
“Who is it?” she tries to stifle a laughter as she avoids looking at me just so she can carry on pretending that she doesn’t know who it is.
“It’s daddy.”
“Come in, daddy.” only then do I set foot in her room. There’s been some rearrangements in here but only of things that her little strength can manage to pick up, pull and push. Such as the bean bag and her study table. I don’t ask questions though because this is the one room that she can fully decide on, as long as whatever it is that she wants is safe and appropriate for her then I’m good with it.
The reason that Khanyisa is cooped up in her bedroom this afternoon instead of using up her two hours of screen time on the TV is because she’s not completely happy with the fact that I won’t be around this weekend. This is nothing new though and I have since learned that Khanyisa will never be happy with me going anywhere without her except for my workplace, and that’s when she’s going to school to. Otherwise, she prefers us being joined at the hip and honestly, I prefer spending time with her but at some point, like right now, I need to give attention to the person in my life.
Pearl had been taking the backseat a lot and yesterday when she was ready to just cancel everything before I even said a word really got to me. It had me wondering if I’ve really gotten her to the point where she’s always going to expect that I won’t keep my word. Which is why I want to keep my word right now but it’s no longer just about that, I need some time away too. This thing with Shamiso just had me feeling a type of way.
I pull the bean bag and have her facing me as I sit on her bed. I refuse to be the parent who dodges their child or just disappears, as unhappy as I know she will be, I know it comes from her still being a child and always wanting to see me.
“How was your day?” I start the conversation. We always ask each other how our day was, my answer is short and simple and hers is always long with everything that she did at school but today it’s different.
“It was okay. What about yours, daddy?”
“It was okay too. Are you okay?”
“No.” she shakes her head.
“Why?” another thing about Khanyisa. When she is happy she will offer information. When she isn’t then you have to get her to talk. I know why she’s not happy but this is the part where we talk about it.
“Because you’re leaving.” she states with a thinned voice and a pout.
“I know but I will be back soon. Sunday afternoon, I’ll be right here with you.”
“Still, I don’t like that you are leaving.” her words pull something in me and I have to force to not give in. It’s taken a long time for me to not give in to her being like this.
“I’m sorry, baby but daddy made a promise to a friend and if he breaks it she will be very sad. That wouldn’t be nice, would it?”
“No, people should always keep their promises.” she says and it reminds me of the promises that I made to Pearl yesterday. She’s not wrong, people should keep their promises.
“That’s very right and if you promise to behave then I’ll bring you a present.”
“I always behave. I’m a good girl.”
“Of course you are.” I pull her up and have her standing between my legs so I can hug her.
When she pulls away the first question out of her mouth is “What kind of present?” and just like that, the mood had lightened up a bit.
“I don’t know but I’m pretty sure I can find something that you will like.”
“If you are not sure then please video call me and make sure that I really like it. Or I can give you a list.” she suggests and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Okay, go ahead and name these things.”
Her smile grows wide”I like chocolate, dolls…. Mhmmm, and maybe teddy bears, an iPad, pizza and a milkshake. Don’t buy me clothes, I have to be there when you buy me clothes. “
” Are you trying to say your father doesn’t know fashion?” I try to keep a straight face but she doesn’t care, she just shrugs.
” Don’t buy me clothes, daddy. “she repeats.
” Okay, I won’t buy you clothes. Even if I see a nice, pink barbie jacket, I won’t buy it. “
” Wait, maybe you can buy it but video call me first. I want to make sure. “
“I’ll do just that.”
“And since you will be gone for two days then I think two presents will be good.” she even demonstrates with her two little fingers, why do I feel like she’s milking the situation now?
“Khanyisa. Were you planning on tricking me all along?”
She laughs at my question “No, daddy but I’m your favorite child.”
“You’re my only child.”
“I’m your favorite, only child.” she puts a final stamp on it by hugging me again, feeling her tiny arms around my neck will never not leave my heart feeling full. “I love you, daddy.”
“I love you too, my favorite child.”
“You’re the best dad in the whole world.” she adds the kisses me on my cheek. I am raising a child who loves expressing herself and I’m forever in the receiving side. How can I not be happy when my daughter tells me that she loves me everyday at least twice a day? I hug her one more time when I start thinking of the pending situation with her mother. It makes me feel nervous. How will Khanyisa adjust to suddenly having a mother? Having two parents? Is Shamiso really sure that she is here to stay? Will my little girl’s heart not be left broken? For my own sanity, I hope not.
SHAMISO
“There you go.”
“What is this for?”
“It’s repayment for the food you bought us. I’d hate to for anyone to be subjected more to your mistreatment because you once bought us chicken Licken.”
I quietly watch the staring contest between Ana and Simon until he gives up, clicks his tongue then grabs the money from her and then he walks away without another word.
As soon as he’s out of sight, we lock eyes and a snicker escapes her lips. I get closer to her and ask “What was that about?”
“After the little stunt that he pulled on you, I had to make sure that he knows the battle lines are drawn and I also didn’t want him holding the food thing over your head. I can afford to buy us takeouts, I was just doing him a favour which I will never ever do again.”
“And you think the meals he bought us cost R50?” I ask her and this time I’m the one who can’t suppress a snicker. Her face is already filled with regret and it’s not the fact that she may have just stepped on our manager’s toes, no. It’s because she just parted with money. I know Anaishe, parting with money makes her physically sick.
“It doesn’t matter. Simon should actually consider himself to be very lucky because I don’t go around giving my money to men. Even now that I’ve just parted with that R50, my heart is sore, I wasn’t expecting him to really take it you know.” she says with a frown and stares in the direction that he just went in.
” Why did you do it then? “
” I told you, I had a point to prove. “
Once the laughter between us dies down I ask her” Aren’t you scared that you’re poking a bear though? I was ready to let all this go and just continue with my life.” Since the day that he ordered me to go to work I haven’t had any run ins with him. It’s just been normal with us barely exchanging words unless necessary.
” If he fires me then I’ll just completely take on the role of being a sugar baby. ” she jokingly says. No doubt her man is able to take care of her financially but I’ll never be the one to encourage her to be completely financially dependent on a man. I have been there and it was the worst. I think it was at that time that I truly resented my uncle for forcing me out of school. Having Rudo control me entirely was beyond draining and if I dared to complained I would be told that I was being ungrateful.
” You know that you have this job as security, incase things go south. “I remind her.
” You’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, ” she sighs” But I hear you, I mean you’re the reason why I’m still holding on to this job but that doesn’t mean I won’t call Simon out when he starts with his nonsense.”
” Well, you’ve already paid him back. Let’s just close this chapter before it starts drama all over again.”
” I don’t mind drama. “
” You don’t but I do. Now please, listen to me. “
” I promised you that I’ll listen to you and I won’t go back on my word. “
We head out for our lunch and we sit at the same spot that we love. Ana thanks me for the lunch box and I find myself checking my phone once again. I haven’t heard from Andziso. I haven’t attempted to reach out to him since he asked for some time. I mean, what I had to tell him is too much for anyone to process so I can understand why he would need time to process everything. I’m just growing anxious by the day when I think of the possibility of him denying me access to our daughter, to which he would have all the power to do so.
“You’re always checking your phone these days.” Ana says, peaking at my phone screen.
“I’m just checking if I haven’t missed any calls or messages.”
“He hasn’t reached out?” she asks.
“No but I’m hoping that he will anytime now.”
“Let’s hope so.” she mindlessly says while reaching for her own phone.
“Maybe I should call him… You know, I’ll just say I was checking on him and maybe he will say something…” I scroll to his contact.
“Maybe you should… Wait, uh you might want to hold off on that.” Ana contradicts herself in the same sentence while she looks down at her phone.
“Why is that?”
She scoots closer to me and makes sure I can see her phone. She’s on his Instagram page “Look. Someone tagged last night and it looks like they were going away.” It’s a series of pictures, the first being their suitcases, then a picture of Andziso showing just his back as he does something in the boot, then a picture of their hands in the car. That’s where I stop swiping, I don’t need to see more.
” I’ll wait for Monday. Maybe he will be back by then.” I try to give off zero emotion as I shut my lunch box. I think I’m full now.
Ana gives me a remorseful look “I’m sorry.”
“For what? Andziso doesn’t owe me anything and I’m well aware that he’s not single. I’m happy for him. I’m happy that he’s happy and I’m okay. I’m not crying over the past.”
“Why did you just shut your lunch box then?”
“Because I’m full. I think I’ll go back to work.”
“But you hardly took even three bites.”
“Ey, Anaishe. Sometimes my appetite works in mysterious ways. I’ll see you when you get back in?” I ask but I don’t wait for her response. I walk back to work while reminding myself that I have no claim over Andziso. He’s not mine, not anymore. I have no reason feeling all that I’m feeling right now and you know what, I really am happy that he found love and like I said, my focus right now is Sarai.