BONDED FOREVER .
1. A YEAR OLDER.
“I’ll never understand why people put tomatoes in their sandwich,”
“Good afternoon to you too, Anaishe. Now stop looking at my food like it repulses you,” I tell my roommate slash workmate and she joins me on the stairs, still staring at my lunch box like it has offended her.
“Seriously though, what joy do you get from eating a soggy sandwich?”she proceeds to ask, still giving my food a dirty stare.
“It’s not soggy. I brought the extra slices of tomato in a separate container,”
“Because you like tomato that much?” she quizzes like it’s such an unexpected thing.
“Yes, I like tomatoes very much,” I didn’t use to like them though. I just started craving them at a certain period of my life, I’d add salt and snack on them and when that period ended, my love for tomatoes remained but I no longer add the salt now.
“Can I get a bite? I woke up late today so I couldn’t make lunch,” she sheepishly says and I just knew this was coming.
“You wake up late everyday,” sometimes I think she forgets that we live together so I know her habits. I take out an extra lunch box and her eyes light up when she sees that I made her lunch, again. “There you go, there’s no tomato inside,”
“Thank you, Shamie. You’re the best,” she gives me a side hug, roughly squeezing me but I let her have a few seconds before pulling away.
“Hmm, don’t forget that you’re cooking today,” I remind her. She had a tendency to forget and we end up making noodles for supper.
“I won’t forget and because you are so thoughtful, I’ll make sure that I make a proper home-cooked meal,” her smile reaches her ears.
“A little birdie reminded me that it’s your birthday today,” a voice says from behind us and we both turn at the same time to find Simon, our manager standing behind us. The little birdie in this instance would be my job application for because no one here knows when my birthday is, not even this one sitting next to me.
Anaishe’s eyes widen, mine too when I see the cake that he’s holding with two candles making the number twenty-eight and three plates, three forks plus a knife.
“Shamiso! You didn’t tell me that today is your birthday,” she scolds me, clearly unimpressed by this fact and Simon joins us on the stairs, now I’m between the two of them. One is giving me a happy smile and the other looks ready to chew me up for keeping such a secret.
” It’s not really a big deal, ” I mumble, I last truly celebrated my birthday eight years ago. Anything after that just doesn’t matter.
“Of course it is, this is an addition to your life. Surely you must be grateful for that,” Simon frowns at my lack of interest in the day that I was born and brought into this messed up world.
“And there is cake so we have to celebrate. Si, do you have a lighter for the candles?” Anaishe switches from being mad at me to being ecstatic, I can’t keep up.
” Oh shoot, I forgot-“He starts patting his pockets.
” No worries, I’ll go get it. You two don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back, “she finishes her sentence when she’s already on her feet, running back to the restaurant.
My eyes focus on everywhere, except where Simon is. I look at the random people that are just minding their own business, some with trolleys filled with groceries or clothes, the kids that are playing on the water centre piece that’s in the middle of the restaurants circled here. I look everywhere except at the cake or Simon.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, I just thought that I’d do something nice for you. I checked your birth date and year and I thought to get this cake for you,”
Now I feel bad for making him feel bad.
“Don’t feel bad. I appreciate what you’ve done. It just took me by surprise, that’s all,” I offer him a smile. I’m not one to be ungrateful when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for me. It’s rare for something like this to happen to me so I appreciate this moment. I just wasn’t expecting it and I would have gone back home to sleep without feeling any tinge of sadness for having not celebrated being a year older. It’s not like I have anything to show for it, that’s just another thing that depresses me.
“If you don’t mind then maybe you can allow me to take you out for dinner tonight, to celebrate your day,”
“I already told you that I don’t celebrate my birthday, Simon,” I remind him.
“There’s a first time for everything. Who knows? It could be fun,” He presses on.
I sigh at his persistence already feeling exhausted from this pointless back and forth “Give me until the end of my shift to decide,”
“That’s all the hope I need,” He continues to smile and look at me in a way that I don’t understand and don’t wish to understand.
Thankfully, Anaishe returns with the lighter and they begin with their theatrics. They first sing for me, attracting a couple of eyes then they have me blow out the candles while making a wish. I don’t make any wish but when asked, I lie and say that I did. Luckily, for this to supposedly work I’m not supposed to say what it is that I have wished for so I get away with the lie.
We each have a slice of the vanilla cake and I give him permission to share the rest of it with whoever else might want it but Ana immediately disputes this. Stating that there are a lot of people and not enough cake so as a result we have to take it home with us. The truth is she wants to get more slices for herself.
Simon gets back to work and I only have a few minutes remaining before I go in for my last stretch before knocking off at six.
“He’s a nice one, huh,” Ana whispers when Simon has disappeared from our eyesight.
“Yes, this was kind of him,”I smile, remembering his sweet gesture.
“I’m not just talking about the cake, Shamie. I’m talking about the man in general, what do you think of him?”
“I don’t know, I mean he’s a nice boss. He treats us all well,” I shrug.
“That’s the problem, you’re decribing him as your boss-“
“Because he is my boss,”
“Still, your boss doesn’t look at you the way that he looks at the rest of the staff,”
“I don’t know what you are talking about,” I start to deny.
“Of course you don’t. You never want to notice these things. You just come here, do your job then you leave,”
“And that is what I should be doing, I get paid to clean, not to notice how others look at me, especially my boss,” I remind her of my job description.
“And that is where I come in, to tell you that when you are missing something so I’m telling you now that Simon likes you,” she states as a matter of fact.
“You are being ridiculous,”
“I know you like to act like you don’t notice these things but I will humor you because I love you. Simon likes you very much,”
I look around and thank goodness there’s no one who can hear our conversation. “He shouldn’t, it’s wrong,”
“Why is it wrong?” she asks the obvious.
“Because he is the manager, Anaishe. What happens when he stops liking me? Will I lose my job?”
“I don’t think he’s like that,” She doubtfully says.
“We don’t know that. What if I reject his advances? Will I be at the risk of losing my job?” I have never pegeed Simon as someone who abuses his power but you can never tell with people. They will surprise you.
“What if you don’t reject his advances? You could be a happy girl in a relationship with a fine man. I mean, despite his old man name, Simon is a catch, Shamie, have you really looked at the guy? ” only Ana could take a digbat your name and still have something nice to say about you in the same sentence.
“I really don’t care. I don’t want anything that will risk me losing my job. I already feel somehow now that he has asked to take me out for dinner,”
“He what?” she covers her mouth with her hand “Oh my gosh, Shamiso. I said it,”
“You’re not listening to me. I don’t think I can-“
“No, no that is where you are wrong. You can, then on this date ask him these questions, the ones that are making you restless,”
“What makes you think he will be honest?”
“Girl, who broke your heart?” she dramatically asks.
I look away when she says this. She doesn’t know half of the pain that I walk around with, wishing that one day it could be relieved and I’ll be able to breathe well again. She doesn’t know because I didn’t tell her. The less that people know about me, the better.
“I’m sorry, it’s just me and my big mouth, I’m-“
“It’s fine. It’s old news, I’m okay now,”
“Then if you’re okay you won’t mind going to dinner to celebrate your birthday,”
She won’t let go of this topic so I’ll just put a stop to it.
“I believe our lunch is over. I’ll see you after work,” I get up and she follows suite but I don’t give her a chance to continue trying to convince me to go in this dinner thing. I don’t know, maybe I should and just tell him what’s on my mind. Maybe then he will stop trying and look somewhere else.
Simon is a nice guy, as Ana has already stated. I’m sure that any woman would be happy to be called his but I don’t think he is for me. I don’t think anyone is for me and I’m not looking to find out. I’m alone, yes but there’s this level of safety that comes with being alone where my heart is concerned but now that I’m passing him while heading to the back to get my cleaning equipment, I can’t help but wonder if dinner would really be such a bad idea.
I push those thoughts at the back of my head and go back to making sure that the restaurant restrooms are still as clean as they should be. After inspecting the tolielts and replacing the paper towels, I take advantage of it not being so busy and I quickly wipe the floor after cleaning the basins. It doesn’t take me long until I’m out and focusing on other areas of the restaurant, away from the ding tables.
When the clock hits for my time to knock off, I’m about to go change when Simon rushes to my side “Shamiso,” his apologetic look and tone lets me know that I will not like what he has to say to me.
“Yes?”
“I know you should be changing right now but there’s been a bit of an incident in the female restrooms. A kid threw up before they got to the toilet and Maria hasn’t clocked in yet…” he leaves the sentence hanging.
My shoulders drops as I sigh “I’ll go clean it up,”
“Thank you and I’m sorry…”
“It’s okay, let me get back to it,” I quickly head back and mop the floor once again then I start quickly drying it with my wet floor warning board, which takes me a bit longer now that I’m in a rush. By the time Maria clocks in, she is very glad that she didn’t have to start her shift with vomit on the floor.
I’m heading out of the bathrooms when the corner of my eye catches a sight that leaves me with hitched breath. I immediately stand next to the wall that hides me whole I take a closer look. It is a guy with a lady by his side. I would remember this face even a hundred years later. I have seen it so many times in my sleep, I have imagined it so many times in my daydreams but I have never prepared myself to see it again. My heart skips another beat when I see the little girl that they just walked in with. She’s dressed in a barbie themed pink top, a pair of shorts, pink socks and pink, glittery sneakers, on her hands she’s fighting to hold a large gift bag.
Tears well in my eyes and I feel my knees start to go weak while I look at the three of them. A family.
He pulls a chair for the lady just after they are assigned a table and he does the same for the girl who happily smiles at him. She turns to the lady and says something before giving her the big gift bag. The lady peaks at what’s inside and lifts her head with the widest smile. Her hand caresses the little girls cheek and the girl gets off the chair to go give her a hug.
I stare at the embrace between the two before dragging my eyes back to him and he is taking pictures of them while smiling too. It feels like a packet of pins has just been emptied in my chest.
“Shamiso…. Shamie-” Simon nudges me and I blink away the tears that had not escaped my eyes yet.
“H-hey,” I clear my throat when the word comes out strained.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I… Uhm… I don’t know, I think my stomach is reacting from something, I think I’m going to be sick,”
“Do you need the restroom?”
“No, I think I need some painkillers and my bed. Listen, Si. I think I’ll skip dinner tonight, I don’t think I can sit through an evening while feeling like this,”
“That’s okay, we can do it some other time. You should go change and I’ll get an Uber for you,”
“You don’t have to,”
“I want to, it’s your birthday and since I won’t be taking you out then an Uber is the least that I can do. Do you have pills at home or should we check if there’s a pharmacy still open?”
“I have them at home, thanks,”
“Okay, go rest and don’t be afraid to let me know if you don’t feel well tomorrow,” He says and I give him a tight lipped smile.
I head to the changing room and slip out of my uniform and into my jeans and blouse. I quickly pack up then I text Ana to tell her that I won’t be waiting for her, she will find me at home. Her waitressing shift is ends two hours after my shift.
When I make my way back to the front, I subtly check the couple and the girl again and I find that their waitress is Ana. She’s smiling with the little girl while showing her what’s on the kiddies menu. I spot Simon and that it when I make my way out with him right behind me. I’m ready for this day to be over, I’m ready to forget it ever happened.