BAYANDA By Mabotle K’s Writings Chapter 10

BAYANDA

I’ve opened up to a stranger, which is something that I never do—I’ve been open about my disability to the parents of the kids I take care of but not like this. She was listening attentively, she didn’t even try to say something against me. I had quite a moment there.

I’m walking to the grocery store right now, I need to restock my fridge and cupboards for these next week. I’ll call the uber after getting some food from Mcdonald’s . It felt so strange to kiss my best friend, not strangely bad—but strangely good.

He didn’t go to far, he may have landed ontop of me but he just kissed and that was it. He spent the night in my bed, we cuddled—Reminding me of the times he used to visit me and we would fall asleep on my bed, such moments are meant to be cherished for forever . I don’t know if anything changed but honestly, it doesn’t feel like anything changed between us.

My smile disappears as soon as I see Sipho’s car pull right besides me as I’m walking to the entrance of the grocery store. I heave a sigh, this is the last person I want to see right now—if I’m being honest.

“Baby, Baya.. please wait.” He says getting off the car, holding a jewelry box. Gosh, can he stop? I don’t even like the jewelry he gets me. What the hell is wrong with this boy?

“What do you want?—I don’t have time for you Sipho.” I say, attempting to walk inside but he grabs my arm and pulls me back.

“Please, listen to me.” He says, my uncle and late dad have shown me what a good man should be like, Sipho doesn’t come close to that so why must I stay in a relationship with him?

“Don’t touch me, or else I will scream. You’ve lost all the right to touch me the minute you laid your hands on me.” I say, yanking my arm off his hand.

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry Bayanda. I just lost control, I didn’t understand how you and Katlego knew each other and I just lost it.” He says, speaking softly like he didn’t just slap me yesterday.

“Even if you apologize a hundred times, I am not going take you back and give you a chance. Slapping me is just proof enough that you don’t value me, you can’t hit someone you love. I completely disagree with that, I will also not degrade myself by being with a man that lays his hand on me. I am done with you Sipho, you probably think I am your agemate and I am not, if you think you can slap me and just come to apologize then you’ve got another thing coming.” I say, grabbing a trolley on the side.

“So.. what about my brother? Do you love him?—is that why you were so uncomfortable when you met him? you looked unsettled.” He says, I sigh.

“Katlego is my best friend, my childhood best friend. I don’t see why I have to answer to you. Just leave me alone and move on with your life. It’s over Sipho.” I say, he stands infront of me.

“You didn’t answer my question, do you love him?” He asks, he can’t force me to answer a question like that. We’re no longer together so I cannot answer to him anymore.

“Whether I love Katlego or not, that is none of your business.” I say walking off, leaving him there. I push the trolley inside and start doing my groceries. I also need to go and see my aunt today, she has been unwell so I think this will be the perfect day for me to go and see her.

I haven’t seen Grootman in a while too, he’ll start thinking I’ve deserted him. The only thing that bores me is that Phindile is there and I’ll see her, she hasn’t liked me ever since I started staying with them as a child and she has grown to hate me. I really don’t care, as long as Aunt Thandeka and Grootman have accepted me then I really don’t care about anything.

I’m also picking out some groceries for them, I’ll have my groceries separated from theirs. I’m not rich hey, I just patch up where I can.

—

Once I’m done with my groceries, I pay and then call an uber. I step outside, it’s already getting dark so it’s going to be here in a few minutes. Tell me why is Sipho’s car still parked here?

“Let me give you a ride home.” He says, I sigh. He won’t give up, will he?

“No, thanks.” I say standing there waiting for the uber. He’s standing there too.

“Ever since Katlego has come back, you have changed a lot Bayanda. I don’t understand how everything got so messed up the minute he landed.” He says, he’s always been the problem—I’ve just been so stupid for all these months to not see the red flags he’s been handing out.

“I hope you stop speaking, you’re annoying me.” I say, keeping a close watch on my phone. I’ve placed the groceries on the ground, they’re too heavy for me to carry around.

“I just want to understand. It’s not like I hit you hard Bayanda. It was just a slap, can’t we move past that?” He asks me, I glance at him frowning—can he hear himself right now?

“So just because it’s a slap, it doesn’t mean anything? Sipho, are you that childish and immature? I hate myself right now for ever giving someone like you a chance to date me. You’re not the one for me, seriously—grow up.” I say, the uber parks besides me and I pack up the groceries in the boot. I get inside the uber leaving him there.

The uber drives off, my uncle and aunt live here in Durban, just a few minutes away from me. I don’t understand how Phindile still stays with them with her 2 kids when she’s 29. She should have a job by now, a stable job and house. But she doesn’t have any of that, I don’t want to look down on her but she has complied me to.

—

The uber drops me off, Phindile’s eldest daughter—Thando runs out of the gate to help me with the groceries. I wonder where she got her kindness from but it’s definitely not from Phindile.

“Your hair looks so nice, when are you going to do mine? it’s already so old.” I say, to her. She giggles.

“Grandma will make your hair, she just did mine today when I came back from school.” She says, I nod and we walk inside. I can smell her cooking from afar, even when she’s still unwell—she’s doing the most.

“Knock knock..” I say walking inside, she’s in the kitchen with Phindile who instantly frowns at the sight of seeing me. I sigh and smile at my aunt, whom I’ve taken as a mother.

“Come give me a hug.” She says, I place the groceries down and give her a big, warm hug.

“How are you?—is the fever better? I hope the medication that I got you helped.” I say glancing at her, she sighs and nods.

“I’m much better if I’m able to stand on the stove and cook. I’m so much better nana.” I nod and glance at Phindile.

“Hi Phindile.” I say, she rolls her eyes and continues doing whatever I found her busy with.

“I bought you guys some groceries, I don’t know if I bought the right things. The other plastics are my groceries, I’ve separated them.” I say, Aunt Thandeka nods.

“Thank you baby, Thando can unbraid your cornrows. I’ll braid you just now.” She says, I smile and nod.

“Okay, let me go and greet Grootman.” I say walking to the lounge, I find him watching TV with Phindile’s second born, he’s 13 years old—I believe she had him when she was 16 years old and then she had Thando when she was 14. Trust me, when I say that Phindile blamed me for the teenage pregnancies she had, she says she had lack of support from her parents and that I took them away from her so that led her to be pregnant in high school twice.

“It’s a miracle that you’re here on a weekday, what happened?” He asks glancing at me, always having a bottle of brandy on the table.

“I’m here to do my hair.” I say giving him a hug, I feel at home here—never once felt out of place.

“Thought as much, are you okay?” He asks me, they haven’t noticed the hand mark on my cheek and I’m praying that I leave without them noticing it because all hell will break loose if they see it.

“I’m okay, I just missed you guys.” I say sitting down and hugging Ntokozo, Phindile’s son.

“Work has been hectic too but it’d workable.” I say, he nods.

“That’s good, I’m just happy to see you. Where’s that little boyfriend of yours?” He asks me, I’ve never introduced Sipho to them, they just know that I have a boyfriend and his name is Sipho.

“We’re no longer together, we broke up yesterday.” I say, I can’t be lying and saying everything is fine and we’re happy. I’m very honest with my life and I would never lie to my uncle and aunt.

“Why?” He asks.

“I just feel like he expects me to do things that only please him. He cares about himself only, that’s why I ended our relationship. He was just too immature and I don’t need someone like that in my life.” I say, he nods multiple times.

“I taught you well.” He says, he’s right—if he hadn’t been a true example of how a man is supposed to be to you in terms of how he treats you then I would have forgiven Sipho by now.

“Right, so I want to erase him from my life and that means, you not constantly reminding me of him. I don’t want to hear anything about him.” I say, Thando walks into the lounge with the comb in her hand. I grab the big sized pillow and place it on the carpet, I sit down and she sits on the couch.

“Mara your hair has grown yaz, look at the length.” She says, I chuckle.

“I’m taking good care of it.” I say, focusing on the TV. Ntokozo has been staring at the TV ever since I got here. This boy..

“I have something to tell you though, a ghost from the past has resurfaced.” I say, he glances at me confused.

“What do you mean about that?” He asks me, I sigh.

“Remember Katlego? the boy that was my best friend 14 years ago? before he relocated, he has come back.” I say, he glances at me and shakes his head.

“Your boyfriend?” He asks, Thando laughs. Katlego has never been my boyfriend, what is he talking about?

“He was never my boyfriend Grootman, we were just best friends. That’s it.” I say, he laughs.

“A boy and a girl that are best friends are boyfriend and girlfriend. I am telling you, he was your boyfriend. You were just too young to understand.” He says, I roll my eyes.

“I was smart enough to understand. We were just friends and that’s it.” I say, hiding my smile—I don’t know for what because I am not guilty of anything.

“So what are you now? Are you still best friends like you say?” He asks, of course. What else can we be apart from best friends?

“We are still best friends.” I say, he shakes his head and pours himself a glass of the brandy on the table.

“That’s very hard to believe, from what I was seeing 14 years ago—that wasn’t just a friendship, that was a developing love story.” He says, I sigh a bit and keep quiet.

“Think about it.” He says—what’s there to think about? he’s saying so many things at once, I can hardly keep up.

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