BAYANDA
05 .
BAYANDA
“Hi, Bayanda.” Katlego says, I feel my heart sinking a bit. Doesn’t he recognize me? he’s greeting me as if he doesn’t know me. But why is my heart telling otherwise?—why do I still have hope?
“Hi.” I say, looking down. I don’t want to cry infront of people. I especially don’t want to explain myself to Sipho. He doesn’t know that Katlego and I were best friends 14 years ago, he made promises to me and he has failed to keep them.
“Okay, why don’t we go to the dining room to have dinner? I’m sure everyone is starving.” Sipho’s mother says, that’s why I thought she was familiar—because she’s Katlego’s mother.
I stand there, glancing at him—he has changed so much, he’s an adult now, with a beard. He still has the taper fade haircut even after all these years, he’s so clean—is it safe to say he’s handsome? How can I even say something like that in this situation?
“Brother, this is my girlfriend—the one I’m going to get married to. The one I’ve been telling you about.” Sipho says, Katlego’s eyes aren’t moving from mine—I feel like bursting, we’ve been maintaining eye contact for too long.
“I see ..” He finally says, Sipho grabs my hand and we all walk to the dining room—at this point, I just want to go home and sleep. Did he forget me? but.. why didn’t I forget him for 14 years?—was it that easy for him to forget me?
Sipho pulls out a chair for me and I sit down. I slightly clear my throat and look down.
“The staff will serve us shortly.” The mother says, I raise my head and my heart stops a bit—why is he sitting in front of me? he’s still staring, I feel like hiding under this table.
“So, Bayanda—tell us what you do for a living, you look like you are a busy woman.” She says, I sigh a bit.
“I’m a pediatric nurse, I work with children who are disabled and mentally unfit.” I say, her facial expression is changing again. She looks at Katlego who’s also looking shocked.
“Oh, happy birthday by the way.” She says, she did say happy birthday to me. Why is she saying it again?
“It’s your birthday? we would’ve brought a gift if your boyfriend had told us.” Mbuso says, I shake my head.
“I’m not a fan of gifts on my birthday. There’s only one gift that I still cherish till date, I’ve been holding onto it for 14 years. So you didn’t have to.” I say, looking at Katlego—he clears his throat and pushes the chair back.
“I need some air.” He says getting up and walking upstairs. I don’t need any other confirmation, it’s him—the little boy that made all those promises to me 14 years ago is him.
“What’s up with him? Does he already miss Germany?” Sipho asks, the dad chuckles.
“He must be crazy.” He says, I heave a sigh and glance at Sipho’s mother. She’s looking at me as if she’s admiring me, with a slight smile on her face.
“Oh, here comes the food.” Sipho says instantly grabbing two plates. My heart is getting a bit heavy, memories are replaying themselves in my mind.
I watch him fill up his plate first, why is he behaving like this? is he too excited or what?
“This is mine, let me dish up for you.” He says placing his plate down. I sigh and watch him dish up for me.
“That’s enough.” I say, he glances at me with a frown—it sounds like I didn’t speak to him because he’s continuing with what he’s doing. Dishing up more food for me, what is wrong with Sipho?
“She doesn’t look like she eats a lot Sipho.” His mother says, thank you! there’s no need to fill up the plate for me. He knows I’m not a foodie yet he’s dishing up for me.
“Oh, yeah.” He says placing my plate infront of me. I heave a sigh and thank him. I don’t know for what because he’s being ridiculous right now.
“Can I use your bathroom? I’m pressed.” I say.
“Oh, yes dear. Please let me take you. I don’t want you to get lost.” She says getting up, she’s going to accompany me to the bathroom? I get up eitherway, I don’t have a choice. This is not my house.
We both walk up the stairs, they’re longer than expected. Now it feels like I’m working out, which is something I never do.
“Here is the bathroom.” She says, I nod and walk inside. I’m not pressed, I just wanted to catch my breath before I lose my mind. I glance at myself in the mirror, my eyes have gotten used to being teary—I want to cry but I can’t cry in this house. I heave a sigh and wash my hands.
I open the door and she’s still standing there. She takes a deep breath and glances at me..
“Are you.. Katlego’s childhood best friend?” She asks me, I nod.
“I am.” I say, she heave a sigh and pulls me into her arms. Is she crying?
“I can’t believe it’s you, Bayanda. I haven’t stopped thinking about you all these 14 years. I feel so bad, I’m sorry.” She says, I look up. Trying to keep my tears from streaming down.
“It’s okay.” I say, she pulls me out of her arms and glances at me—really well.
“You’re so beautiful—still the same, you..you can walk.” She says, I nod.
“A lot has happened in these 14 years, I’m not using the wheelchair anymore.” I say, she smiles and nods.
“I’m happy to hear that, I want to show you something before we go back downstairs. Do you mind?” She asks me, I shake my head. She holds my hand and walk past the bathroom.
“Where are we going?” I ask her, she opens the door of some bedroom. It’s spacious, she turns on the lights and my heart trembles.
“This is Katlego’s bedroom, he normally uses it when he’s visiting us.” She says, I look around—framed pictures of me as a little girl, him as a little boy. They’re all around this room’s wall, tears fill my eyes.
“Ma..” I say, she nods.
“He never forgot you Bayanda, he never did.” She says, the ensuite door opens and he ermeges—I didn’t.. I didn’t expect to see him right now. His eyes land on us, i think his heart stopped beating.
“This is my bedroom.” He says, I can hear his voice clearly now. I glance at his mother expecting her to say something, I didn’t come here by myself.
“I just wanted to show Bayanda, all of this.” She says, showing him. Katlego heaves a sigh.
“You’re invading my privacy.” He says, I heave a sigh.
“I will go downstairs.” I say, instead of me walking out first—she walks ahead of me.
“Bayanda..” He says, I turn back. He called my name?
“Yes?” I say, he walks towards me and closes the door. Why is he closing the door? I stop breathing, he’s close to me.
“Hi..” He says, staring at me. I’m unable to look at him right now. I’m feeling hot, his scent..
“Please look at me.” He whispers, I open my eyes and glance at him. 14 years, 14 years passed.. he promised, he failed to keep his promise.
“Why are you looking at me like that? were you expecting to find a girl in a wheelchair, miserable and depressed?” I ask him, he sighs.
“I missed you..” He says, I shake my head.
“Did you? Katlego, you promised to come back. You left and never said anything, why?” I ask him, the more I keep talking is the more my throat keeps drying out.
“Alot happened, I’m sorry.” He says, looking straight into my eyes. I’m struggling to understand why my heart feels like it’s about to fall out. I’ve been waiting to see him for 14 years, this feeling is so different.
“Yanda, I’m sorry.” He says, my heart skips a beat. The only person who started calling me “Yanda” was him, I even got used to the name because of him.
“I need to go downstairs. I thought you had forgotten me, the way you greeted me was so cold.” I say, it felt like he didn’t know me for a second.
“How could I forget you Yanda? that would be crazy.” He says, I heave a sigh.
“You’re grown, you..you’re a man now.” I say, he nods.
“And you’re beautiful, you’re no longer cute but you’re beautiful—you’re gorgeous.” He says, something is traveling in my stomach. Are these butterflies?
“This feels so overwhelming, 14 years is a very long time. I didn’t expect you to be Sipho’s brother. That was the last thing on my mind.” I say, he chuckles.
“He’s my half brother, my mom got married few months after we relocated to another country. Which is why I couldn’t get ahold of you, we stayed in another country.” He says, so they relocated to another country and his mom got married? crazy.
“And I certainly didn’t expect you to be Sipho’s girlfriend.” He says, I roll my eyes.
“Yeah, right. I need to go downstairs, Sipho still doesn’t know that we know each other.” I say, attempting to open the door but he pulls me back and pins me against the wall.
“You can walk, what happened?” He asks me, I was expecting that question.
“Physio.” I say, he nods.
“You’re so beautiful, Yanda.” He says, I quickly open the door and storm out. I don’t know what the hell was that feeling but it almost killed me. I walk downstairs, I’ve been gone for a while.
“Hey babe, are you okay?” Sipho asks, I nod and take my seat. I feel a bit better now. I look at their mother and she smiles, I smile back.
—
—
KATLEGO
The first life changing moment I had was when I met Bayanda Ngwenya 14 years ago, the second life changing moment is right now. When I meet her again for the second time, this time—a lot of feelings are involved and they’re mixed. I hate myself for not coming back or getting in contact with her, maybe things would have been different.
The dinner is over, my heart has been feeling kind of different. Like, it’s been beating fast. She just left with Sipho, the crazy thing is that she’s with my brother.
“You finally met her.” Mom says walking back into the house after walking them out. Dad glances at me confused.
“He met who?” He asks, I sigh.
“It’s nothing big, Mbuso and I have some business to take care of. So we will head out as well. Thanks for dinner Mama.” I say, standing up along with my pal.
“Yes, thanks for dinner. It was lovely, I had a great time.” Mbuso says, I take the car keys and we walk out.
“I thought you said the Bayanda you knew used a wheelchair, how can they be the same person now?” He asks me, I smile—the mention of her name. Her beauty isn’t the kind that demands attention—it’s quiet, understated. Her skin is so smooth and warm, a hand slaps the back out of my head and I snap out of it.
“Stop dreaming already. That’s your brother’s girlfriend.” Mbuso says, I sigh—before she’s Sipho’s girlfriend, she was my childhood best friend—is she still my best friend?
“Let’s just go.” I say getting in the car, I start the engine and top the steering wheel.
“I love her.” I say, he glances at me and shakes his head.
“I think you’ve lost your mind, you just know her from childhood. How can you be inlove with her when she was your best friend? I think you’re not thinking straight, you saw her for the first time in 14 years, you’re bound to have mixed feelings. It’s not love..” He says, he doesn’t really understand.
“I promised to marry her.” I say, he laughs.
“You were a kid, you obviously can’t expect your mind to still be the same as it was 14 years ago. You are a man now, not a little boy who goes on promising a little girl marriage.” He says, I heave a sigh and drive off.
Her braided hair looks thick and dark, I feel like her body isn’t just in her features—it’s also in the aura she carried. She looks calm, oh Bayanda.
“Even if you are inlove with her, she is inlove with your brother. It’s a loss for you.” He says, Mbuso is so against love—I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in any relationship in these years that I’ve known him, namely 2 years.
“You’re so against love, I wonder who broke your heart.” I say, he keeps quiet. Someone did break his heart, painfully. He never speaks of that person but she does exist, 3 years ago—a truck hit him, he jumped infront of a truck and I happened to have been driving in that direction, I was the one who rushed him to the hospital.
“I think you should move on.” I say, he shoots a stare at me.
“I’ve moved on, what do you mean I should move on? if you’re going to talk about me finding another woman to love then shut up already.” He says, I shake my head.
He’s stubborn too but I can put up with him. He is my mentor after all, I’ve done a lot for him and he has done a lot for me as well.
I believe in love because I spent all these years loving the same person that I last saw as a child. I never forgot Bayanda, even though I haven’t kept my promise—seeing her has made a lot of difference in my life.
I can’t stop thinking about her, my heart can’t stop beating fast. I didn’t make all those promises to her just because I felt sorry for her, because I felt something—as young as we were, a different feeling always occurred whenever I was with her. I heave a sigh and sit back, she’s so beautiful.
I don’t even think I’m going to sleep tonight, I’ve thought about her for 14 years and it’s getting worse now that I’ve seen her, i knew it was her at first glance—she also knew it was me, it’s a very different feeling of connection in this case. We just met in an awkward place.