BAYANDA
01
—“14 beautiful years ago”—
Sometimes, when I look into the mirror—I don’t always recognize the girl staring right back at me. All it took was that one accident and my life changed. I always seem to see the wheelchair first, why? because it is a part of my life.
It feels like my body is in a cage that I am unable to get out of, I hate the helplessness—the pity that I receive from so many students, I hate everything.
“Look at this cripple! she doesn’t even know how to walk but she thinks she can get straight A’s in Maths?” Her voice echoes in my ear, my heart is pounding fast. I’m finding it hard to accept that I get bullied everything.
As much as I try to avoid Ashley—she always finds me and when she does, she shows me no mercy. If I could run then I would but, I’m just a disabled person that can’t walk.
“What are you eating?—give me that!” She snaps, snatching my lunchbox from me. I look down, she never seems to achieve anything with whatever she’s doing but she continues doing it eitherway.
“Please bring my lunchbox.” I say—softly so, I believe I don’t have the voice to speak up. She throws it in my face, my aunt took all her time to make me this lunchbox, it shouldn’t get wasted like this.
“There, have it.” She says, slapping me across my face and storming off with her squad.
I wipe off my tears and try to reach out for my lunchbox, it’s on the ground—how am I going to reach it?
“Let me help you..” The boy kneeling besides me says, I glance at him—the first thing I notice is his messy taper fade. He takes my lunchbox and closes it.
“Here..” He says, I stare at him as his hands make contact with mine. He’s giving me the lunchbox, I quickly snatch it.
“I’ve been seeing you quite a lot and I always see that girl bothering you. Why don’t you report her?” He asks, this is the first time a school learner has tried to speak with me in this way, they always shout at me—some even laugh, they can just look at me and laugh.
“I’m afraid.” I say, he stands besides me and folds his arms. I don’t think I’ve seen him around, is he new?
“Afraid of what?—getting justice for yourself? You know, whenever people try to bully them, I always clap back. I don’t let them play ontop of my head.” He says, how am I supposed to clap back when I can’t walk?
“I’m a cripple, who would even take me seriously? I’m just a cripple, they can bully me.” I say, tapping the dust of my lunchbox since it fell on the sand.
“The term cripple is outdated, besides there’s nothing wrong with being disabled. It’s their twisted minds that are wrong.” He says, my aunt always tells me this but I can’t seem to take it in.
“Are you new here?” I ask him, he nods.
“I just relocated here, my parents have divorced so I needed to come with my mom.” He says, I nod—he should be leaving, why isn’t he leaving?
“I’m in 7th grade.” He says, I didn’t even ask him but okay. I don’t even know his name and I have no intention of asking him.
“I’m in 6th grade.” I say, he glances at me—he has hazel brown eyes, very clean as well.
“I have a piece of advice for you, I hope you use it to your advantage. I’m reminding you again that being a disabled person in a wheelchair isn’t a bad thing, don’t make yourself feel bad just because she said you are a cripple. God created us and he loves us all.” He says—my heart jumps, for a second.
Does he even know how much I love God? I never skip a day without praying, it always gives me a sense of peace.
“Why are you being so nice to me? Did someone send you here to sweetalk me and act kind?” I ask him, he chuckles a bit and shakes his head.
“I don’t have any friends in this school yet, I would love to be your friend if you want to. No one sent me here, besides.. even if someone did send me, I don’t think I’d be that stupid to admit to doing that nonsense.” He says, he wants to be my friend?
“You want to be friends with a cripple?” I ask him, his look is now serious. I guess he isn’t happy with whatever I just said.
“Don’t you have a name?” He asks me, I sigh.
“Bayanda is my name.” I say, he smiles—he has a dimple, he has a beautiful smile.
“I’m Katlego, so can you be my friend or you’re going to play hard to get?” He asks, I sigh a bit.
“A lot of people haven’t made it easier for me to easily accept their friendship, they always have bad intentions.” I say, he kneels down—infront of me.
“Do I look like I have bad intentions?” He asks, I stare into his eyes. Why do I see so much truth? I haven’t been seeing that in a lot of people.
“Trust me.” He says, I look down—playing with my fingers. I’ve never any girl or boy friend. Trust me when I say, the people at my school treat me like I’m something disgusting, they are even too afraid to touch me but Katlego is here holding my hands.
“I have to go.” I say—I’m not someone that trusts easily, because my aunt also advised me to play far away from boys. I’m 12 years old, I’m still young and I don’t know the way life will turn out for me, I’m playing it safe right now. I was raised well by my aunt and uncle.
“Take this, I hope you consider my request. I’d like to be your friend, not because I feel sorry for you but because I feel connected to you. My mom said I should stay away from girls but I can’t stay away from you.” He says, taking off the green bracelet that he has on.
“What are you doing?” I ask him, he takes my hand and puts the bracelet around it.
“It suits you Bayanda.” He says, I glance at him—I might be dreaming, apart from my family—no one could ever treat me this nice.
“The bell has rung, do you mind if I ride you to your class?” He asks, what? I shake my head, it seems like I just nodded because his hands are on my wheelchair.
“I’ll take you.” He says, pushing me. I know how to push myself, why am I letting him do this?
“I’m going to the 3rd floor, in English class.” I say, he nods and continues pushing me. The stares we’re both getting make me so uncomfortable, this is the first time in my life something like this is happening.
“They bully you because they’re corwards, you’re just like them. You’re human, whatever they say. Don’t ever take it to heart.” He says, whispering close to my ear.
I’m not too proud of asking for help but I know sometimes I need to ask for it. Everything seemed so impossible after the accident, the same accident that took my parents’ life left me with a disability. Simple things like getting dressed, reaching for a cup or going to the bathroom sounded like a mountain I couldn’t climb.
This wheelchair has become a part of my life, I hate it with a fire that burns that burns hot in my chest. Although, sometimes it feels like the only thing that’s holding me up when everything is holding me down.