THE ROYAL MATRIMONY By Delight M. Ngobeni Chapter 46

THE ROYAL MATRIMONY
THE END
UNEDITED

[LARONA]

Who postpones a funeral? This is clearly Fikani’s world and we’re all just tenants in it. Social rules are merely suggestions to the man. I have never – ever since I opened my eyes to the reality of my existence – heard of a funeral being postponed in an African community. I was looking forward to getting it over and done with but what can we say? His word is final around here.
I did not realise how much I had missed my cousimoulette and now that she’s sitting right next to me, it’s dawning on me that the flavour of the air I’m breathing is different, lighter. Kago’s face changes sporadically and I don’t know if I’m the only one that notices this. When she looks plumper, that’s how I know she’s stressed. The internet says the culprit’s name is cortisol.
I continue to study her as she plays with Amu – rubbing her nose against his tiny one. He seems to find this madly entertaining.
‘Ha, these ears? Kurhula dyed our baby with his blackness. He’s going to change colour as he grows’ she jests and I pull a warning face. She cackles and I scoff, failing to restrain my smile. I have nothing to say to her.
‘I’d like to see you say that to his face’
Her smile zaps off her face. Oh, now she’s afraid?
‘Don’t be like that. You want him to drag me? Hm? Your mom wants your dad to assassinate me verbally’ she continues to play with my baby. ‘Where is he anyway?’
‘Off to see his wife’
Kuli’s not feeling well and I think it’s just the pregnancy turning on her, but I cannot tell Kago that or anyone else who doesn’t know for that matter. This unfortunately might be her last chance to have another child. We cannot afford to jinx it.
‘And? Are you guys okay now?’
I know she’s going to mock me for folding but I show her the email anyway, the one I cannot stop reading. I watch as her smile gradually expands as she reads.
‘And I decided to fall in love with a software engineer. How is he going to talk to me like this? In variables and functions?’
Her jealous pout makes me laugh out loud.
‘I have no idea how but I trust Mac to make it happen. Also, isn’t it crazy how his name is McIntosh and how he went into a fitting industry?’
‘Never thought of it that way’
The sparkle in her eyes sprinkles fairy dusk on my heart. I’ve missed out in-person banter.
‘How was your trip here?’
‘It was okay, I guess’
‘Out with it’
She can’t say it was physically taxing because Mac sent her a car; she did not drive herself all the way here.
‘I finished my manuscript in the car’
I almost scream. I’ve been waiting for these words. She’s been writing, editing, doubting, refining and further doubting that book ever since we were fourteen. But… she doesn’t look as excited as she’s supposed to be.
‘What if people don’t like it?’
‘Are you mad?’
This question comes from the depth of my heart because what does she mean?
‘Of course there are people who won’t like it but why is that your main focus? I get that this is your baby and it’s been your baby for months ever since you decided to get serious about it. I’ve gone through all the changes with you and I’ve always pressured you to put it out there because I believe in you. I always tell you when you’re reaching for the impossible and being delusional, don’t I?’
The giggle she lets out bubbles with a fragile joy.
‘This is my book we’re talking about, not a toxic man’
‘Same difference. You’ve given your heart to both’
‘I mean… what if they think it’s silly? It’s fantasy, a world that’s different from reality. What if they don’t understand?’
I don’t have time for this.
‘You’re the one that’s being silly. Let’s go eat’ I stand and her phone rings at the same time. I take Amu so she can take off her sneakers with ease and she puts Mac on speaker while changing her shoes.
‘Hi baby’
‘Supper is ready, and I miss you’
‘On my way’ she rhymes this out. The call ends and she looks at me thoughtfully.
‘I don’t know if I’m jumping the gun but I think this nigga is planning to propose’
I almost choke on air. I try my best to mask my knowledge of this matter. I told him that Kago is not the kind of person you catch off guard because it might backfire and he responded by saying it won’t be completely off guard. I hope he did not completely blow his cover. Smart as he is, he can be a typical nerd at random moments. I would love for the proposal to be a surprise at a place somewhere fancy. My girl is a romantic and she deserves a love story similar to the ones she writes about.
‘Uhm… why do you think so?’
‘Weeks ago, he sent me two songs and asked which one I think is a good idea for a wedding reception. I asked him about it and he swore he was asking for a friend’
She googles the lyrics and shows them to me. Masambe by Jaziel Brothers? Never heard of it before.
‘What makes you believe he’s lying?’
The look she gives me says I’m not using my brain to its full capacity.
‘The man’s friend group is predominantly white. The black ones likely have no idea what genre the duo sings and have probably never set foot in SA’
People who often say you cannot successfully lie to an overthinker hit the nail on the head.
‘Your problem is, you think too much’
‘How do you explain the second song being a suggestion from Kurhula? I’ve been with Mac long enough to know that he compartmentalizes his people. He doesn’t discuss his brothers with his friends and vice versa’
I chuckle because I’m cracking. I know the song. I was with him when he suggested it. I just did not know that he was talking to his brother and I was too lazy to wake up in order to ask. Fatso 98’s ‘Ngifuna wena’ featuring Brandon Dhludhlu, essentially similar lyrics to the first.
‘Couzzy, let’s go eat before I collapse please. We’ll unpack this later’
We leave the room and she fills me in on dad’s deteriorating health. I pretend as if I don’t know. I still wish him good health but I no longer want anything to do with any of those people.
When we reach the table, we find people in jolly spirits except Mhani Xongi. Her sister wife is involved in the conversation but I can easily tell that her laughter is fake and forced. I don’t know if it’s a talent I was born with but like a police dog sniffing out drugs, I can easily detect pretentious vibes from kilometres away. Some of the uncles seem genuinely happy to see their estranged brother and are even exchanging memories, boisterously so.
‘Are you going to put that away, sweetheart?’ Ruth directs this to Mac. He’s on his PC, multitasking between work and eating. His dad laughs. Mac looks around with a smile distorted by shame; like he thought he was invisible to everyone.
‘That is battle you’ll never win. Accept it. You never need to worry about another woman with this one. Your competition is that technological demon with a keyboard’ he says this while looking at Kago. Everyone laughs.
Mac closes it and sends AK to go put it on the coffee table. Uncle Albert passes around a container full of toothpicks.
‘If you were not wasting time, you would be sending your own’ Mhani Singi jabs and Kago almost chokes on her water.
‘Leave the boy alone’ Mhani Xongi intervenes – still looking very much uninterested in the kumbaya vibes around this table.
‘N’wa Charlie, are you okay?’ Edward asks. The look in his eyes… he seems like a sweet and caring man. Nothing like what his brother is always described to be.
Now it makes sense. There’s moments Aunty Lydia speaks highly of him; of how protective he used to be of her and it often confused me. This is the Edward she was referring to, not the other one.
‘Mac tells me you’re a lecturer’ Ruth tries to spark conversation with Kago, who acknowledges with a nod.
‘How are you finding it?’
‘It’s okay. I love it’
Shame man. The shy shingles have invaded my cousin’s system.
‘Are you willing to relocate after the weddi—’
‘Sweetheart!’ Edward snips her sentence and Mac is left with widened eyes. Ruth stretches her lips regretfully.
‘I’m sorry sweetheart. I’m… I’m excited and—’
‘Wedding?’ Mhani Singi spirits look super revived. Mac’s mood has visibly gone down the drain.
‘You okay, babe?’ Kago rubs his knee underneath the table. He sighs and I hear his chair screech. Kago’s hand encloses her entire mouth when he goes down on one knee. There’s already ululations. Half of me is getting emotional whereas the other half doesn’t know how I feel about her getting ambushed like this. Ruth quietens everyone when Mac attempts to speak.
Kago shifts in her chair to face him.
‘Verbosity is not my thing. All I know is that ever since I met you, I just cannot stop imagining the rest of my life with you in it. It’ll deeply hurt but I’ll try to understand even if you say no. Kagoentle, would you please make me a man amongst the rest by agreeing to being my wife?’
The noise erupts again. Edward has a proud smile pasted on his face, visibly hopeful on his son’s behalf. The noise gradually dies down when Kago does not respond. I feel my heart rate rising.
The look on Mac’s face is nervously earnest.
‘I’m offended that…’ Kago says and Mac shuts his eyes. ‘That you think I would turn you down. What do you mean? Of course I’ll marry you!’ she screams and in that moment, I have no idea when he took her in his arms. The celebrations resume as they kiss in a manner that suggests they’ve completely forgotten that there are elders in this room.
‘Hey! Get a room you two!’ Junior quips, bringing everyone to a chuckle. For a second there, I almost lost my ability to breathe. We’re having a wedding after this funeral! Arg, love seeing my personal person being loved thoroughly, inside out.

…

[KULANI]

‘Mhana Vutlhari? Baby?’ he gently shakes me out of slumber and I realise that I fell asleep on the floor. After drinking Mhani Lulama’s ginger concoction, the vomiting stopped. I hope it won’t come back because the mere thought of it is single-handedly making me sick.
‘I wasn’t expecting you here’ I say, looking up as he squats over me. He picks me up and walks to the bed.
‘Mhana Amukelani told me you’re not feeling well. What’s up?’
‘It’s nothing major’
This is not the answer he was looking for. His face says it all. What did Lala tell him that has him this worried? I simply called to ask what she used to use for her nausea because my remedies are not working. A healer truly cannot heal herself.
He cuddles me and pulls my body against his until there’s absolutely zero space between us.
‘I make good liars crack and you, my baby, can never lie to save your own life. What’s wrong?’
A sigh leaves me because I’m physically drained.
‘I couldn’t stop vomiting but I think I’m better now’
‘What did you eat?’
‘The last thing I had was a pie’
‘And I can bet with that R2 in my cup holder that it was chicken’
I laugh.
‘Stop cramming me’
‘You know damn well that you have a love-hate relationship with chicken when you’re in this state. This is not the time to be fvcking around to find out’
He’s warm. I did not realise how much I missed him.
‘Stop. Are you not supposed to be helping out with the funeral arrangements?’
‘That German Sheperd you call your brother postponed it’
I raise my head.
‘What?’
‘Don’t ask. I don’t have the answers you’re looking for’ he sounds as defeated as he looked. Nothing exhausts Kurhula like his own family on this planet.
‘But I’m hoping you’ll have the ones I’m in search of’
I immediately know what he’s talking about.
‘Rmemeber that day Fikani banished Mhani Singi from home because Bontle?’
He calmly nods over my shoulder.
‘Remember that I had gone to the river in the early hours of the morning?’
He nods again.
‘I had a supernatural interaction with Mandilakhe there that left me with more questions than answers but now that I am introspecting back on it, it all tying together and making sense. That conversation was lengthy and I got to know her better’
He’s silent.
‘Just like you, Edward, the one you’re only meeting now, did not want the throne. When Edwin came along, he gave up on it and asked his wives to leave with him. His plan was to start a law firm with his Canadian friend. He wanted to leave all the turmoil and witchcraft behind’
Still silent. I’m assuming he’s already had a conversation with Larona because nothing is surprising him so far. Mine is to tie loose ends.
‘Your mothers chose the throne over him’ I say this as delicately as I can manage. My biggest fear right now is his rage against Xongi igniting again.
‘Remember you once told me that Mac once physically fought with Edwin?’
I have no idea who to call with what name between the Eds.
He nods, still dead silent.
‘He had found out where his father was, that his brother was parading around as him. Mac was very young when Edward left’
Another thing I’m afraid of is a wedge between him and his brother.
‘But… how could he just up and leave like that? I feel like everything I’ve known was a lie’
‘He was tired of always falling sick because of Uncle Solomon and Fanisa. Sol has been after that throne for the longest time but it just wasn’t his’
‘But it was dad’s? Edwin’s?’
I nod.
‘Same way it doesn’t matter who rules between you and Fikani. You’re the same person. Remember when I told you that I dreamt of you in leopard skin?’
‘I do, baby’
‘What if…’ he sounds worried.
‘What if what?’
‘What if Tlhari fights with Vukosi over that damn chair one day?’
‘He won’t. You’re an amazing father and I trust you to teach him to celebrate his siblings instead of seeing them as competition’
‘Why does it sound like you’re indirectly singling yourself out? You’re an amazing mother as well. My kids are lucky to be raised by you. I get jealous sometimes’ he kisses my shoulder.
‘Jealous?’ I laugh out loud because this sounds crazy.
‘Maybe that’s not the right word to use but yeah. I watch you nurturing them sometimes with so much love and my heart fills with pride because I never had that’
‘Aww… that’s so sweet baby, thank you’
I appreciate this compliment because sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. When I take time out to recharge whenever I feel overstimulated and drained, something in me always whispers that I’m a bad mother. Even if it’s for half an hour.
‘Do you remember our first night together?’ I ask. My thoughts are super random. I think he’s already used to that.
‘Which one? The one when you chased me out of my own bedroom or when you dropped a towel in front of me?’
I nudge him with my elbow. He’s being silly. He knows exactly what night I am referring to.
‘That was one of the best nights of my life. I’d never forget it’
‘That was when my feelings for you came at me with a force I still cannot explain. I know that there’s been bumps in our journey recently but I want you to always know that there’s no other man for me’
‘I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make life easier for you. Nak’rhandza Mbilu ya Kurhula and there’s not a day in my life where I’d said this and did not mean it’
I don’t know, I just feel I need to reassure and affirm him. I was going through my own things and all of that, I unintentionally made him feel unloved. I keep ruminating over that and it saddens me because I know for a fact that there’s nothing this man wouldn’t do for me. At some point, he was willing to defy his own destiny in order to keep me happy.
His lips find mine and I turn around so it’s easier. After about a minute of smooching, he gives me two consecutive pecks and brushes my brow before his hand goes to my bum. I love such moments between us. Sovereign intimacy without the sax. I mustn’t be misunderstood because I love and crave my husband a lot but sometimes, I just want to be in his arms and feel him caressing me. The moments where I get to listen to his intelligent thoughts or have to go through him bullying me. The moments where the jolly boy in him comes out and chases me around the room. Those are the moments that assure me that he feels safe with me and I always swoon over the memories when they hit me at random times during the day.
To some, he’s a terrible and cocky human being. To others, he’s an incurable lover boy. I am others.
‘What?’ he asks, making me realise that I am staring at him.
‘Why are you looking at me like you’re thinking of victimizing me? I’m tired baby. The chambers to my manly appendage are closed today’
I narrow my eyes at him. I can never have my cute thoughts in peace with him around because he always ruins it. He laughs, peppering my face with a joyful storm of kisses, each one softer and more lingering than the last.
‘Kurhula!’ I try to push him off because I can’t stop laughing. His kisses are accompanied by tickles. ‘Kurhula please!’
He stops and watches me struggling to catch my breath, with that AK-coded smile on his face – a reminder of our son in the quiet curve of his lips. I love this dude. I’d tell him in this exact manner but calling him that would earn me another round of him being his boyish self.

…

[MOKGADI]

My phone vibrating right next to me while I’m asleep almost makes my heart stop. I give my self a moment to recalibrate before I answer.
Mlambya? I look around the room and find that he’s obviously not here. I remember arriving to this place and it feels like I’ve been sleeping for light years. My satin robe is on the chair but I don’t remember getting into this nightie.
‘Hi’ I answer, still breathless. I’m ball of nerves.
‘You’ve been asleep for way too long. Come join me in the pool’
‘I don’t feel like—’
‘It wasn’t a request. You need food and some fresh air’
I feel my chest deflate. I go silent for a while and he says nothing as well but he’s still on the line. I see a new message icon.
‘I’ve left him’ I read out loud. What? It’s from my mother.
I remember that I’m still on the phone and I put it back on my ear.
‘Fine. Let me change’
‘No need. There’s not a lot of people here’
I put my feet down and shove them into the slippers by my bedside. After putting my robe on, I stand in one spot trying to garner the strength to walk out of here. I do not feel like myself at all.
As I’m dragging my feet down the corridor and asking him what’s on the platters he says await me, I hear a ‘Sheesh!’ coming from behind me. I’m only noticing now the Egyptian architecture of this place. I’ve been walking mindlessly all along. This must’ve costed the owner a fortune.
‘I’m sorry, couldn’t help myself. Atlegang’ he introduces himself and I doubtfully shake his hand. Mlambya has ended the call. He’s on his way here, I just know it.
‘Mokgadi. Please excuse me, I’m in a bit of hurry’
He holds my wrist when I try to get away.
‘Please, just one second of your time. I’d hate myself if I let you got away’
I raise my left hand and I see a regretful smile.
‘Oh…’ – he clears his throat – ‘That’s a blinding rock’
A topless devil turns a corner and appears. An overly ripe pawpaw is about to hit the fan.
‘I agree. It could buy that second hand TSI of yours outside’
Why is he the person that he is?
‘She’s yours? My apologies my guy. When we spoke earlier, I assumed you were here alone’
‘Your first problem was assuming’
The guy clasps his palms together apologetically and excuses himself. He’s laughing? It’s scary how people interact with this animal I call a husband with no idea how psychotic he can get. Mlambya turns his neck and watches as he walks away.
‘Don’t do it’
He brings his eyes back to me.
‘Do what?’
‘Whatever it is you’re thinking, don’t do it’
‘You read minds now?’
I follow him as we walk. We reach the reception area and he asks for a sanitizer and a wipe from the lady behind the desk barrier. He takes my wrists and sprays it profusely until the liquid drips. I want to laugh at the confusion on the receptionist’s face. I let him do whatever it is he thinks he’s achieving here.
‘Thank you’ he says to her before taking my hand and walking out with me. When we get to the pool area, he takes of his jeans and drives into the water in his underwear. I won’t ask him anything.
Only my feet join in on the fun. I cannot swim. He stays underwater for longer than I anticipated and I start to worry.
‘Mlambya?’ I call. The platters arrive and I contemplate asking the guy’s help. He breaks the surface and emerges while I’m trying to loosen my tongue to ask this stranger for assistance. He swims towards me and I watch as he hyperventilates. He scared me.
‘You okay?’
I nod but tears are coming out even though I’m fighting them with all my might.
‘I’m sorry about what happened earlier’ he kisses my thigh, not breaking eye contact.
‘Are you not supposed to be back home by now?’
‘Moved the funeral to Saturday’
I lift my brow. Did I hear him properly? He postponed a royal funeral? Who does that?
‘If everything has to come to a standstill because of you then so be it’ he gravely declares.
I don’t what that just did to my heart but I felt something I cannot put in words.
‘You meant it’
‘Meant what?’
‘When you said…’ – I clear my throat– ‘When you said you loved me? I’m finding it hard to believe’
‘Kgadi, I am a lot of things but a liar isn’t one of them’
‘For one to be a cheat, they first have to lie’
‘I’ve never promised anyone never to cheat on them mina’ he reaches for one of the chips and leads it into my mouth.
I’m yet to figure out how his mind actually works. I am convinced he was dropped as an infant and he landed on his head.
‘How did you know? That that’s how you felt about me?’
‘My head tells me when I’m falling in love, as a protective mechanism. Doesn’t yours?’
‘I’ve never been in love. I don’t even think I’m capable of it. I can care, though’
‘What makes you say that’ he feeds me a barbeque wing.
‘Ever heard of object permanence?’
‘I did psychology. What about it?’
‘If you leave, let’s say for three months for argument’s sake, I am not going to miss you. For a year, I might forget about you and remember that you exist sporadically’
‘Let’s start here. Leave to where?’ he holds on to the surface besides my hips, comes up to lick the sauce off my lips and I smile. I enjoy his company.
‘I said—’
‘Yeah, even in hypothetical situations, wherever it is I’m going, you’re coming with. Greece is still on the table, by the way’
‘You’re not offended?’
‘By what? You don’t owe me your heart, Kgadi. But rest assured that I’m coming for it, with everything I’ve got’
He keeps that laser stare that used to intimidate me at first.
‘So you can break it nicely?’
He laughs. He’s so damn sexy when he does. I watch as he gradually grows serious.
‘That man died with the woman he was never supposed to take for granted. The one in front of you is yours and yours alone, with all his flesh and bones. I once had a conversation with Kurhula…’
‘You really adore your brother, hey?’
‘Focus baby man’
Is he blushing? Also, it’s always weird when he calls me that.
‘It’s okay to be in tune with your emotions, you know?’
He frowns judgementally. ‘Anyone else can say that in order for me to take it, not you’
I laugh. I have no comeback. Him and I do not discuss such things.
‘’Okay fine, carry on. Conversation with Kurhula?’
‘I was mocking him about how boring and peaceful his love life is like I usually do. He grew up in chaos and now he wants absolutely nothing to do with it. Everything he does is to not replicate what our father’s house was like. Rhula would literally give his people the world in equal parts if he could and tell the rest of us to voetsek out of it’
Yup, the swearing part? That definitely sounds like him.
‘I sat on that conversation for weeks and it slowly forced me to grow up. I realized that although different, mine too was just as chaotic but I chose to become the complete opposite of him’
‘How chaotic?’
‘I was a drug mule and on those trips, I’d also sleep with older women against my will. That’s not the point. The point is…’
How quickly he said that and how glassy is eyes are is enough to warn me not to poke any further. I knew there was reason behind him always wanting to prove how much he can control my body during our intimate moments. We’ll talk about it though. Now now, but we’ll talk about it.
‘Kurhula inspires me to want all of that for you. To love you till you’re sure it won’t change. Every single day, I realize that you encompass the nameless thing I’ve been searching for all along’
I clear my throat. Why am I sweating?
‘You said you’d ease up, that you’d stop coming on too strong’
‘If you think this is me coming on too strong then I’d advise you to mentally prepare yourself for a lifetime of overwhelm’
He wipes my tear and steps out of the water. He pulls me into a hug tighter than I’ve ever known from him and this makes me fall apart. How can one person’s arms feel so panic-inducing yet so safe at the same time?

…

Chaile means The End. It’s been lovely. Thank you for coming along on this tumultuous journey. Love you long time!

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