THE ROYAL MATRIMONY
CHAPTER 45
UNEDITED
[MOKGADI]
Just as I was thinking of how to deal with this and where to start, Kurhula shows up. He’s the perfect person to sway his brother back to calm.
‘And then? This zigzag SASSA queue at this time of the night. What’s going on?’ he pulls Lala by the waist with his free hand and stamps her cheek with a kiss, but his eyes are searching for answers from his mother and aunt.
Another door opens and the old man steps out. I almost stagger because he looks like my husband went into a room for rapid aging and now he’s coming out since the process is complete. I don’t know why I was expecting him to be crooked and quarter to death but this looks like one of the men Sally likes to describe as silver foxes in her unruly moments. He has aged well.
Kurhula’s laptop finds its way to the floor.
‘What the…’
Mhani Xongi’s eyes are strained with guilt. She keeps rubbing the back of her ear with her index finger while her other hand is tucked away into her armpit.
‘Relax. I am not who you think I am, son’
Kurhula’s facial expression proves that his brain is currently glitching. Senior extends his arm for a handshake and although reluctant, Kurhula eventually meets him halfway.
‘My name is Edward, the real one. Which one are you?’ he introduces himself in a super relaxed tone, with a subtle smile on his face. I understand that this is a reunion and all but I need to go find Mlambya.
‘Kurhula’
‘Oh, you’re the one who took after me. Pleased to meet you, advocate’
It sounds like he’s up to speed with the happenings of this family. A Caucasian woman comes along in silky pearl-white nightwear and Mhani Xongi’s facial expression changes completely. So this is who Mac has been talking to?
‘Oh, and this is my beautiful wife, Ruth’
Greetings are passed around and we’re now part of the conversation. Kurhula looks less stiff but still very much confused.
‘Can we talk in private, love?’ Larona asks of him and he silently follows her into her room. This gives me the opportunity to also ask to be excused without being weird.
The doors to the special living room are closed and this seldom happens. I think he’s in here.
I try them and stealthily attempt to have a view of the inside. Why is my heart beating this way? He’s not in here but all the figurines and vases that were lined on the room divider are in pieces, on the floor. More fuel onto the fire that’s always blazing between him and his mother.
I eventually find him outside – with his hand under a turbulent flow of water from the Jojo tank. I’m standing here unsure of whether to approach him or not. He doesn’t turn in my direction. I walk back inside the house to go look for the first aid kit I once saw somewhere in the kitchen. I don’t find it.
I undo my headwrap and go back to him.
‘Let me help you’ I reach for his injured palm. He doesn’t protest. He seems a lot calmer, like he wasn’t the one screaming his chest apart moments ago.
‘Don’t you need gloves for this, nurse?’
‘You were in my guts without protection just two seconds ago. It’s too late for that’
He lets out breathy, defeated laughter and this makes me smile. I was expecting a saucy response but he surprisingly maintains his silence. A part of me wants to apologize but for what?
‘Are you ready to talk about it?’
If looks could kill…
People are laughing inside the house. I guess the reunion is going well. I’ve been to only a handful of funerals in my life but this is the first time I’m experiencing one like this. Nobody looks hurt. To an unknowing pair of eyes, they would mistake it for preps for a kiddies party. It’s only happening because it has to.
‘The reason why I’m always so quick to get Kurhula to calm down as soon as he gets mad is because I know what his level of mad can do. I’ve been there and I always see myself whenever he explodes. The last time it happened, years ago, it landed me in jail and if it wasn’t for Don, I would probably still be in there’
Where is this going? I quietly ask myself.
‘There’s a side of me I don’t want you witnessing. I’ve worked so damn hard to be the man you think you know today, the man who lets you get away with the nonsense you do’
What does he mean by that? That he’d beat me up? Would he? Nahh, I can’t imagine it. Well if that’s what he means, then only one of us would get out of that situation alive and I’m not sure who it would be, but what I know for a fact is that no one is putting their hands on me again in this lifetime.
I manage to secure the wrap around his hand so it doesn’t unravel.
‘Thank you’
He’s in a terrible mood and I don’t like that. I miss him.
‘Fine. I’ll let it go on one condition’ I lie, trying to cheer him up. He looks at me with a questioning frown.
‘You tell me something about yourself that I don’t know, so I stop thinking and start knowing for real’ I respond to it.
I see him fighting a smile. It’s working.
‘You’re exhausting, do you know that?’
I shrug. He sets his gaze on me for a minute, long enough to make me uncomfortable.
‘In the Iliad, Homer once said, “Yet I have loved you to the point of madness, that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to love.”’
What? Who is Homer and what the hell is The Iliad?
He steps past me only to stand behind me. He removes a chunk of hair from my ear and sighs into it.
‘“Each of us when separated, having one side only, is always looking for his other half. And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment.” These are not my words. Plato’s spirit would curse me to death if I were to claim them as such’
‘I’m confused’
‘“I would have chosen you, in every lifetime, in every world, in every reality. The darkness within you calls to the darkness within me, and together, we make a whole that is both terrifying and beautiful.”’
These are definitely quotes from either books or poems.
‘In future, when madness strikes and you conclude that I might be on my phone because I’m up to no good, please consider that I might be cheating on you with a woman with a very good pen game, or a man, as straight as I am. And I believe that deserves a double take before any rash decisions are made. Again, stay out of my business, lady. I’d say please but I’ve gotten to learn that your kind is deaf to any sort of gallantry’
He leaves me with these words and I scoff. Foxy as hell.
But wait, he reads? And memorizes these things? Is that what he’s trying to tell me about himself? He’s… my vocabulary is failing me but let me just say he’s one of a kind, for now. The Plato name keeps reverberating in my head.
Plato…
Plato…
Plato…
It’s not the name that carries weight but the manner in which he said it. He pronounced like he was referencing an estranged childhood friend; someone who left in his care something special.
…
For a moment, I thought our fight would make him change his mind about bringing me home but here he is, waking me up to let me know that we’ve arrived. Have I reached that stage of dozing off in the car to a point where I can’t tell when he’s reclining my seat? Is it the pregnancy or am I simply getting old?
My parents are waiting for us by the door. Dad welcomes Mlambya like the esteemed guest I guess he is and my mother hugs me. I don’t wait for the same energy from my father because I know it will come lukewarm and diluted.
‘Muffin!’ I almost run into Ty and he crashes into me with an embrace that makes me laugh.
Him and my husband greet each other with a shoulder bump like there’s no bad blood between them. At this point, I have no idea if they’re performing for my parents or being genuine but the former makes more sense.
‘I’m going out to a spot I’m certain you’ll love. Come with me’ Ty offers and Mlambya lifts a brow.
‘He needs to get going’ I stand up for him because I have no idea what is boiling in my brother’s head.
‘It’s just for one drink’ Ty argues.
‘This man still needs to drive, Tyson’ my dad intervenes.
‘It’s okay. Let’s go see this place. We’ll take my car’
I want to think his offer is innocent but a part of me knows he wants his own car because his gun is in there. The thought of these two together is actively disrupting my peace. They leave and mom places her hand on my back, almost making me jump. They lead me to the couch area.
Dad sits down and turns on a soccer channel.
‘How was your trip here?’
‘It was okay’
She simply nods and calls for refreshments. I have nothing more to say. They’re leaving for the funeral later and I wish they could leave now. Amidst the usual silence, I text Mlambya to ask if he’s still okay and he doesn’t respond. At least not as quick as I expected him to.
‘I did not expect your husband to be the one bringing you here himself’ my dad verbalizes with a facial expression I do not understand.
‘He offered’
‘Why?’
Eh?
‘It’s odd behaviour. I hope your mother did not teach you her ways of doctoring meals’
I gasp and my mother silently laughs while shaking her head.
‘Out of all the men on this planet, you think I would waste my energy trying to get you to love me?’
I know that they sometimes throw rotten eggs in each other’s direction but like they always have, can they respect me enough not to do it in front of me? I just got here.
‘The day will come when you’ll confess to your hand in my ailments’
She laughs out loud this time, harder than I’ve ever seen her laugh since I was born. She holds her tummy like someone who is pain and struggling to breathe but she just cannot stop laughing. It gets to the extent of tears racing down her cheeks.
‘You want to blame me for your erectile dysfunction? No, I have truly suffered’ she’s still laughing. I’m failing to lift my jaw off the floor. Dad is visibly mortified.
She gets up and walks down the corridor, still in stitches. She comes back with her handbag and doesn’t even say goodbye.
‘Nxn… aii’ she exclaims as she walks out the door, still very much amused. I’m still sitting here with absolutely no idea how to disappear from my dad’s sight.
‘Don’t allow your mother to derail you. Respect that man and stay in your place, then you’ll experience a happy marriage’
My ears must be deceiving me. This is the same man my mother gave her all to, only for him to go out and cheat on her with women way younger than her? That’s the staying in one’s place he’s talking about? I’ve met misogynistic men before but this one is in a lane of his own.
‘Are you listening to me?’
I nod.
‘And I hope you’re not drowning that baby in alcohol. Finding an empty bottle in your room shocked me but I cannot say I was surprised. You’re Mahlako’s daughter at the end of the day’
What bottle is he talking about? I was always careful.
That feeling I hate starts rising in my chest. I study his back as he walks away. I shortly hear his door clicking closed. It’s time for his thirty-minute siesta.
‘Kgadi, Kgadi’ I hear ausi Maki’s voice. I fake a smile. As always, she smells of the same cheap perfume she’s been using for years ever since they hired her. I need the manufacturer to go out of business. She pushes her torch-light Nokia into the pocket of her denim dress. I can tell by the sports bag that she’s going somewhere. We never hold conversation when I’m sitting with my parents so she just brought the juice and left earlier on.
‘How are you, my girl?’
‘I’m okay, how are you?’
She draws her head back. ‘Are you sure?’
I nod and widen my smile. I’m boiling on the inside.
‘Okay then let me get going. I still need to pass by the mall before heading home’
‘Safe travels!’
‘Thank you mababy’
I immediately stand up after she leaves. I go outside and open the rusty door to the shed. He always keeps it in here.
I find an almost full 25-litre bottle of the fuel and walk back inside the house with it. When I reach the kitchen after closing all the windows, I’m almost shocked by the speed I’m moving with but this is not the time to think about that. I find the lighter and begin dousing the whole house with the petrol. I’ve heard that people die from CO way before they can burn in fires. May he quickly rest in peace.
He steps out of the bedroom just when I was about to set the paper in my hand on fire.
‘Why does it suddenly smell of… Kgadi ya Bakone…’ he calls and I look at him. The sight of him is revolting!
‘My beautiful daughter, what are you doing?’ he asks with both his hands in the air. I’ve already locked both backdoors. The key for the front is already inserted from the outside, waiting to be turned.
‘You’ve done enough. All my life I’ve been blaming the wrong person but you’re actually the mastermind behind all her hurt and trauma! Have you noticed that she’s a completely different person when she’s with her sisters but whenever we would come back home, she’d go lifeless again?’
‘You will get arrested’
‘And you will be dead. Sounds like a fair trade to me’
I have never spoken to this man like this but somehow, these answers come out like they’ve been assembled and prepared to be fired, like someone more confident is speaking on my behalf.
‘Mokgadi…’ I hear my mother’s voice but I don’t turn around to face her. My eyes are glued to her husband.
‘Please put the lighter down. Give it to me, give it to your mother’
If I set this paper alight, this entire corridor will catch fire. This is something I’ve always thought about whenever I saw him buy this for his generators. I’d dream about it sometimes; about locking all three of us in the house so we can all burn and rest for good.
The engine that’s coming to a halt outside belongs to my husband.
I want to do it. I want to set this entire place alight but the bravado I began with is suddenly wearing off. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and my father continues to look at me with desperately pleading eyes.
‘Muffin!’
That’s Ty’s chiding voice. I’m still looking at my father as my hatred for him slowly simmers in the pot of my belly.
A familiar touch silently travels from my shoulders down to my hands and retrieves both items from me. Then I break down. He tightens his hold from behind me and goes down with me when I lose all my strength to continue standing. I feel like I’m blacking out, but not entirely. My brother joins in the hug and covers me too.
‘What went wrong?’ Ty asks.
‘Not now’ Mlambya says.
‘Give me my baby’ my mother removes both of them from me and I feel her tears dropping on my forehead as she kneels in front of me. I am trying my best to get a grip but it’s as if I’m making the situation worse.
‘I wonder how you will explain all this to the police’ I hear my father’s voice and mom raises a sharp look at him. Regret begins washing over me like a sudden hailstorm.
‘You wouldn’t dare’ Ty warns.
‘I agree. If things went south, you’d be in another realm right now. This is your second chance at life. I wouldn’t blow it if I were you’ Mlambya says with the same tone of voice Tyson has just used; calm yet loaded with so much danger.
