THE ROYAL MATRIMONY
CHAPTER 37
UNEDITED
[MOKGADI]
A nudge from my mother reminds me that amidst all this anger, I wasn’t listening. I am the cause and main agenda for this family meeting and truthfully speaking, it is the least of my concerns right now. On my list of priorities, it’s down at the bottom – nestled between climate change and my next nail appointment.
My husband could be out finishing off my brother and these elders want to discuss how much of a bad wife I am? I respect each and every one seated here but their timing is not something I can afford to applaud.
‘I was prepared to let this go. Getting Mlambya beaten up by common criminals is nothing small but because there are people who favour you in this house, I was truly prepared to let this go’
I find Mhani Xongi looking at me after her sister wife makes this statement.
‘Kgadi would never do such a thing’ my mother comes to my defence and I almost vibrate with shock. No one responds to her.
‘But now… what is this rumour I hear about a netball court being built in your name? That you’re going to be in charge of it? What is the story there?’
I have no response.
‘Answer me’
I truly have no response because I have no idea what she’s talking about. A tardy Uncle Albert barges in – violently pushed by the wind of haste.
‘Forgive me, good people’ he promptly apologizes while pulling out a chair. Mhani Xongi sighs with almost an eye roll, as if she would’ve preferred it if he didn’t pitch at all. Him and Uncle Wiseman briefly whisper before the latecomer loudly asks what he has missed.
‘First, she runs her mouth to her brother about confidential royal matters. Whatever happens between her and the king has nothing to do with outsiders. The man said it himself that he’s the reason our son ended up on a hospital bed!’
The uncles begin rumbling, obviously appalled. I wipe the tear that drops and immediately flies down into disappearance.
‘What sent me over the edge is hearing that you plan to become a netball coach. I am curious to know what you will be wearing during all those activities? Tights? On a queen? You want all these men to lust over what is meant for Mlambya’s eyes only?’
I am still silent as I am being crucified for matters I know nothing about. I haven’t even seen this court that is being spoken about yet. Mhan’ Singi is livid and this is an unfamiliar sight for me. Compared to Mhani Xongi, she’s always a marshmallow.
‘I think we should all calm down’ my mother insists on being my mouthpiece. ‘Number one, my son is a very… I’d say often irrational and irresponsible human being and it would everyone good if his actions were ignored, actions I greatly apologize for. I would hate it if he tried to interfere with his sister’s marriage and succeeded’
If my dad catches wind of this, I’m as good as dead.
‘One of her duties as queen is to protect her husband’s image. Whatever it is she has said to this brother of hers is surely not good if he saw it fit to put his hands on our son!’ Uncle Wiseman vehemently argues. They all agree with him as a family except mother-in-law. Her eyes keep hopping from face to head around this table, judgingly. She does not look like a person who is prepared to speak anytime soon.
‘This woman is carrying your heir. Is it a good idea to be attacking and stressing her out in this manner?’ my mother asks in humble spirit. The looks on their faces tell me that weapons are slowly being put down. A mere mention of this pregnancy in this house is enough to get a lion to stop baring its teeth, I am noticing.
Mlambya ambles through the door, paying attention to his phone. He comes to a halt when he raises his head and sees us solemnly gathered.
‘Did I forget or was I simply not notified?’ he asks, directing this no one in particular. Mhani Singi is still breathing fire.
‘Err… son, we just needed to iron out a few things. Nothing to worry about. Did you not say you’ll only be back later on?’ Uncle Wiseman responds.
‘You cannot say it’s nothing major when the woman of this house was obviously crying. What is going on?’
‘Mlambya, this is not the time to be defending ratchet behaviour. There are some things you should just leave in our hands and trust that they’re capable’ Mhani Singi responds. I see him scratching the back of his neck with his index finger.
‘Is that so?’ he retorts. Mhani Singi clears her throat. That sounded like a threat.
‘Of course with all due respect’ she adds. He better not banish her over this.
‘I have not yet received an answer to my question. What is this convention about?’
‘Son, you need to listen to your mother’
‘I will do no such thing because the last time she bullied and bewitched a wife of mine, mhana Vukosi ended up in a coffin’
Gasps erupt followed by accusations of him not being fair.
‘Tell them you’re not feeling well and all this will be over’ my mother whispers in my ear as they argue.
‘Let me repeat and I am not going to ask this question again. What is this caucus about?’
‘May I please be excused? I am not feeling well’ I follow my mother’s sneaky advice. Mlambya’s eyes soften when they land on me. I guess Mahlako wasn’t wrong after all.
‘What’s the matter?’ Mhani Xongi asks, in tandem with her son and sister wife.
‘I feel like I’m about to throw up. Please excuse me’ I swiftly get up and rush up the stairs. My mother closely follows behind me. She leads me to her room and I walk in first. I cannot help with the purposeless pacing.
‘Apparently mothers can feel it when their children die. How true is this?’ I ask after she locks the door. Under the furrowed forehead, her eyes find my tummy.
‘How are you feeling?’
She draws her head back after my question.
‘What are you on about?’
‘Nothing’
‘Instead of sitting down and thinking of ways of fixing your marriage, you want to ask me senseless questions instead?’
Not this again.
She pulls me by the wrist and drags me to the bed.
‘I did not bring you here so you could embarrass me and our entire bloodline! What is wrong with you? I never imagined that I would have to defend such misbehaviour to your in-laws’
‘You didn’t have to’
These words leave my mouth before I can properly process them. She’s giving me that ‘Say that again so I can shred you’ look. I’ve avoided a lot of conversations with my mother. That is the unwritten rule in our relationship: Things happen, we feign ignorance and we move past them like we’re both demented. But I have already broken that rule. Might as well go all the way.
‘Since when do you defend me, mom?’
‘I beg your pardon, ausi?’
She’s giving me a chance to retract. A grace period for me to come back to my senses.
‘I am asking… since when do you defend me? Like a mother should?’
‘Mokgadi, I have carried you for nine whole months which almost turned into ten because that’s how comfortable you were in this body of mine. If I thought I was incapable of mothering you, I would’ve simply grabbed a hanger so I can peacefully and singularly move on with life. I would never feed you to wolves so they can feed on you while I watch’
Has she been cloned?
She lets out a sharp sigh. Her short speech wore her out.
‘Get me a wet towel’ she instructs and I immediately get up. My system is used to acting at the snap of her finger. I walk into the bathroom and drench a clean face cloth in water before slightly wringing it so it doesn’t leave a trail. I hand it to her and she places it on her forehead like she always has. It’s apparently sufficient management for her migraines.
‘If you hate this arrangement this much, why didn’t you just come back home? I’d rather have that than attend a court case for murder because at the rate you’re going… hmph!’
‘Do you want an honest answer to that?’
‘If it won’t kill me’
‘I was running away from you. It was you I was running away from, mom. You made sure that I became nothing but a princess ripe for nothing else that isn’t marriage’
Her instant laughter is mocking me.
‘Me? You won’t dare. We both had a choice and we chose to be oppressed. You exist because I also allowed my parents to dictate how my life should turn out. You’re not a victim, you’re a weakling’
I want to argue with my ears. They’re surely not receiving well. I’m slow to get up but I eventually stand on my feet.
‘Here’s a fun fact you did not ask for. I am realizing now that you’re the main reason why I would like my baby to be a girl. Know why? I want her to experience what it’s like to be a true princess, an egg in her mother’s hands and eyes’
She drops her eyes.
‘I don’t give a damn about a boy and him being an heir. Besides, we already have one. I want this one to know what it’s like to be loved deeply by the woman who gave birth to her. I want it to seep into her pores so far into her skin that even when she’s far, she knows that she can always come running back into my arms and that I will always run with equal speed to meet her halfway’
My tears almost choke me but I manage to finish my sentence. Her sight is still downcast. I leave her when it dawns on me that I am not going to receive any response from her; that I am not going to receive a semblance of an apology that I’ve always been desperate for.
…
I find him standing by the window when I walk into our bedroom. I was hoping to be alone so I can fall apart in peace.
He turns around and looks at me. His eyes are still carrying that worried look I left downstairs.
‘Are you okay?’
My sight is blurry because of the teary veil in front of my lenses. He walks towards me and tries to pull me into his arms. I insist on drilling my soles into the ground before he forces me to acknowledge his hug. I eventually allow it when my body decides to stiffen less.
‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you’
I scoff. I was raised by Mahlako. Mhani Singi can only brush the surface of those wounds. Her words hold the weight of a feather compared to the daggers that always lie lined in the mouth of my father’s wife. I do not need his protection.
‘Where’s my brother?’ I ask, with my cheek against his chest. He’s warm.
‘I do not want to speak about Tyson right now’
‘Do you love this child?’ I persist.
‘I wouldn’t have made him or her if I knew I wouldn’t’
‘Do you ever stop to think that the people whose lives you take are also other people’s babies?’
I hear a sigh of exasperation. He’s still holding me.
‘Where is this conversation going?’
His phone rings. It’s the gate.
‘Yeah?’ he answers.
‘The cops?’
‘Let them in’
He puts the phone back in his pocket.
‘What are the police doing here?’
‘The body has been found’
Everything comes flashing back. I was here. I witnessed his mother put an end to a woman’s life.
He rubs my arms and insists on looking me in the eye.
‘Why do you look so panicked? You’ve already proven that you’ve got a bull’s balls, Kgadi. Keep it together. Breathe in…’
I pull in some air.
‘And out’
I expel it.
‘When they ask, you’re going to tell them that you haven’t seen Fanisa in a minute’
‘I can only do that if you release my brother first’
He huffs.
‘Are you blackmailing me?’
‘It’s not blackmail, it’s bartering’
I see a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Why is everything a game to him?
‘Bartering, you say?’
I nod.
‘So you want to throw Xongi under the bus because of our personal issues?’
I’d never do that.
‘Since when does my husband care about his mother?’
‘Care? Why are you stuffing words into my mouth? My duty is to protect everyone under this roof regardless of whatever may be going on between us. You were plotting murder not so long ago but here you are, standing in front of me and not in prison’
‘I have done no such thing’
‘A lot could’ve gone wrong. Hell, I could’ve been paralyzed right now because of your senseless anger and reckless behaviour’
Senseless?
He receives another phone call and I walk into the bathroom to relieve myself. When I come back, I find him inflamed.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘I have just been informed that Sol is currently mobilising a mob. Kurhula’s phone is off and his wife isn’t answering hers’
Uncle Sol? The blind one?
‘Why?’
‘They want Kuli’s head. He’s convinced that she’s behind Fanisa’s death’
I feel all the blood in my legs draining to my feet. Why would anyone want to harm someone like her? I can’t even imagine her stepping on a roach. Why do I feel like there’s a lot I do not know about these people?
